(CW Child abuse) Why do mothers not protect their children from abusive boyfriends

The woman who pushed her dead child around in a pushchair for 3 days should have got the same sentence as her boyfriend. In fact probably longer than the killer. Having a child is a responsibility- her responsibility and she knowingly allowed her death.

I have a friend who has adopted 4 children. She's constantly doing work shops, working with SS, attending counselling with the children and also for her self.
She has been prewarned that the children she has adopted (she has 3 biological children also) are prone to getting into these toxic relationships, they get trauma bonded very fast, fail to see red flags etc.

I can remember reading children that have been SA'ed are more likely to SA children into adult hood by a vast amount. I should imagine that also applies to all forms of abuse including sitting back whilst a "father" figure lays into a small child.

Some mothers are just selfish. It doesn’t matter to them if their child is suffering as long as no one else can tell.

Some women truly do value having a partner over the wellbeing of their children. You see it on here all the time-an idiot woman deciding to move some man into her child's home when they've been together a matter of weeks or months. Relationship is usually a piece of shit but still the women cling to the dick. They just simply love being fucked more than they love their own chidren.

These women are not helped by enablers that give excuses such as the women must've suffered trauma or be ND or whatever other nonsense.

I guess the easiest answer is that the mothers are just an evil piece of shit like their pathetic boyfriends.

Other reasons can be quite complex, such as mental health illness, trauma, being neurodivergent, the complexity of domestic violence, vulnerability, etc. Some men are very good at finding women like this for the sole purpose of abusing children..

Personally, I'll never understand it. If DH and I broke up, I probably wouldn't date again until my children were a lot older as I couldn't risk anything happening them.

Yes their natural father or handed over to a step father?

I asked that very question of my mum (When an adult.) She said she stuck with him (Step parent, can't get myself to call him 'dad' in any way.) as she was terrified of being on her own.

Because they are disfunctional. Or they wouldn't do it.

I think it's really difficult without being able to fully understand the circumstances of the mother. For example she could have a history of complex trauma that's made her particularly vulnerable to manipulaton or control- the exact type of person a predatory/ abusive individual would seek out to gain access to children and often children are used as weapons to further abuse a mother. Possibly the mother has grown up with extensive abuse and its become normalised in some way.

Obviously women aren't always saints and there are unfortunately many women out there who cause significant harm but I don't think we can fully understand the dynamics of these types of situations without knowing someone's history, ability and circumstances. I think the issue is that whatever risk factors lead to this should have been picked up and better managed by community/statutory services.

I think we also need to acknowledge that domestic abuse can be very complex and there's lots of times where services and individuals don't recognise it. So just because it's not noted as a partner being abusive to a mother, doesn't mean that hasn't happened.

I think any scenario like the ones you mention are just incredibly hard to understand because it's utterly tragic and horrific to think of any child being treated in that way. It just doesn't bear thinking about really.

Well a child can have 2 abusive parents so sadly maybe the less abusive one? Because again family courts have to pick up the pieces of adults decisions who put themselves first

I also want to know why the family courts seem it acceptable to award custody to abusive fathers?

Because thry are never held to account this faux 'women are saints' and never responsible for their actions

They can't think for themselves and are desperate for attention and weak they blame everyone else 'he made me love him' and usually go from useless partner to the next and don't have one real thought in their head

They bring these 'animal' into their children's lives then act surprised when social services comes knocking

They want babies but don't want the responsibility that comes with it and yes they should be equally charged