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Original poster

TW To notice that a lot of child murders have one thing in common

309 replies

Worldinyourhands · 14/12/2024 00:01

Has anyone else noticed the chilling common theme in the child murders that keep being reported (it feels like) in recent times? There's another today, and as soon as I read the heartbreaking report, that same factor jumped out yet again.

An unrelated partner being involved in the child's life. A parent and a boyfriend/girlfriend or (less commonly) new husband/wife.

Before anyone jumps on me, I'm obviously OBVIOUSLY not saying that step parents are all evil. Nor am I saying that biological parents can't be evil. In all the cases I'm thinking of, the biological parents were totally complicit.

But I am wondering if there needs to be some more red flags raised when school or social workers or whoever become aware that a child is having to live with a parent's romantic partner. Particularly a young child or a new partner, though I'm aware of at least one case involving a teenager (it broke my heart - I'm not naming any of the children on this post, but there have been multiple over the past few years). Not doing a poll either as it's too flippant.

But has anyone else noticed this factor coming up time and time again? And does anyone else think that this aspect of safeguarding seems to be missed - presumably because we place far too much value on the parent's perceived 'right' to have a live-in romantic partner and not enough weight on the chlld's right not to live with an unrelated adult who doesn't love them?

OP posts:
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KeebabSpider · 14/12/2024 00:08

It's a very well known factor. Child protection SW are very well aware of the link.

WinterCrow · 14/12/2024 00:07

It's been known and accepted for decades that the biggest threat to a child is "mummy's new boyfriend".

Ozgirl75 · 14/12/2024 00:07

I don’t disagree but I also think what comes up time after time is that teachers raise concerns and these are looked into and either ignored or the workload is so huge for social services that these children fall through the net. People knew about Sara. Surely a huge red flag is when a teacher raises a concern and then quickly the child disappears from the school system.

Wasywasydoodah · 14/12/2024 00:07

You couldn’t possibly flag every new partner in houses where there are children. But it’s true that dangerous people will look for others with small children and abuse them. Often the perpetrator hides from professionals who might try to safeguard the children. That’s why we have claire and sarah’s law.

Original poster
Worldinyourhands · 14/12/2024 00:06

Misknit · 14/12/2024 00:04

The data is out there that shows that statistically the introduction of a step parent poses the greatest risk fo children unfortunately. Let me see if I can find the report.

I've seen stats about the high risk to girls of living with an unrelated male but didn't realise it was statistically proved about kids coming to other types of harm.

OP posts:
Feelinglow27 · 14/12/2024 00:06

Tbh I'm just sick of fucking male violence. What the fuck is wrong with them? I feel like they're another species and want to move away to a female only island.

What with these kids, Gisele, the poor nurse who was murdered by oral rape. God they are disgusting.

There something seriously wrong going on in modern society. I will never go near a man again and I hope my daughter turns out gay. I'm just sick of it all.

Fully expect the "not all men" responses. Don't care.

steff13 · 14/12/2024 00:05

Everyone has noticed it. Dr. Phil said on his show years ago that a child who lives with a stepparent is 35x more likely to be a victim of abuse.

Misknit · 14/12/2024 00:04

The data is out there that shows that statistically the introduction of a step parent poses the greatest risk fo children unfortunately. Let me see if I can find the report.

Dramatic · 14/12/2024 00:03

Yes I always say to my husband that it's almost always the step dad.