He’s fucking locked me out.

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. But I hope this is the rock bottom that gives you the strength to walk away.

Just think how lovely and easy your life will be with him in it.

Oh lovely. I hope today, after finally getting some sleep, you look back over your messages on here and re-read how he made you feel, how you’ve let him make you feel. You need to take back your power and treat yourself with the kindness that you expect from him. The situation won’t change until you change. You keep getting the same results when you keep the same actions. Get some counselling for support, why don’t you deem yourself worthy of someone who’s respectful and loving? I know from experience how hard it is to extricate yourself from these relationships and I sound like some hippy but the work needs to start with yourself…buy xmas presents for yourself! Get advice about getting out of the tenancy so that you don’t have to pay for him living there or keep paying when you’re not. Get support from your Mum. Join some knew social things, stuff that you enjoy and start to remake friends. And when he’s on his come down after he realises what he’s lost and he starts being nice again, realise that he’s only doing it for what he can get, not because he’s genuinely sorry for the way that he’s treated you. You deserve a beautiful happy life, so create it darling. Much love xx

@FuckingFreezing1 you need to make sure the utility companies can’t come after you for payment if everything is in your name and make sure it’s paid up to the day you leave. Is there no way you can stay rather than leave and have him leave? Otherwise he could take even more advantage. Can you speak to the landlord about getting him removed? I agree you have the high ground if you can avoid an argument but he should really be the one to go. He has to come home at some point. Personally I’d take the hit of the £200 to change the locks and get rid of him.

Op - firstly he sounds awful, I am sorry you had such a horrible night. Please use this moment as the wake up call. You have to leave him. It’s one thing if he was out later than planned, didn’t know you didn’t have your key and his phone was dead but he knew he had your key, he knows you were locked out, his texts were horrible and he showed zero regard for your wellbeing.

Do not let him weasel his way back in to your life. Do not keep this up because leaving seems hard.

My best friend left her miserable relationship last year and whilst it was tough she is THRIVING now. She was like a shadow of her former self when they were together.

Get out. Free yourself and start again.

Sending love.

Right, sorry, didn’t pick up that she was in an LA owned property.

OP you are still so young. Get rid of this horrible man and rebuild your life. You can do it. It’s hard but vital for you to get away.

Oh do stop with the keys. Talk about not seeing the wood for the trees.
Unless you all stop with the picky criticisms and reporting, OP will never come back. She may well need some support to get away from him but she won't if this carping continues.

RTFT!!!

Hope you are safe and warm OP. I really hope this will be the eye opening event that helped you realise you deserve so so much more than this good for nothing arsehole. No one should be treated this way in their relationship and being single will be a MILLION times better than being with him. I'm sure everyone on here will be wishing you well and be able to continue offering practical tips and support to get things in order to leave him and start afresh.

If he has form losing multiple keys this makes zero sense. If he lost that key then what would you do?! You're on here complaining about him and folk are saying well how have you got yourself on this predicament and you're quite aggressively pushing back on them. If there's only one key and he loses them all the time then the remaining key needs to be with you at all times and the fact it wasn't is on you really as this post says that you were the one that told him to take it.

Let's put the key safe question to bed...

She lives in a LA flat with key fob entry at the main door. To be of any use the key safe would need to be outside the main door and IME you would not be allowed to install anything like that in LA owned properties.

@KimberleyClark I hope that made you feel better. Just what the OP needs right now, sheesh

I hope you are safe now. I echo many on here that are saying please reevaluate your relationship with this person. He cares very little for your safety and wellbeing.

Given his track record of losing keys it would have been prudent to install a key safe with a spare in it. And not tell him the code so he couldn’t take it and lose it. This situation would not then have arisen. Better still he should have been an ex long since.

Hope you got home OP x

OP, one day you’ll actually thank this sad and sorry incident, because it’s given you the huge shove you need to cut lose this nasty self-centred bastard.

He doesn’t care about you, and you are worth so much more.

Go to your mums. She’ll be proud of you for being brave and leaving him.

You’re still so young and you’ve got your whole life ahead of you 😊💃

@magicalmrmistoffelees We talk about allsorts 😂 never have to replace keys, cards, phone etc.

Hope you are safe and warm OP. That was the best thing he could have done for you last night, that was your line in the sand. You can have no doubts now as to how he thinks he can treat you. You don't even seem like you like him, and how could you. Imagine that life on the other side. You're still so young. Wishing a bright future ahead.

I’m fucking raging @FuckingFreezing1 !! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

im sorry, but maybe tough love will get to you?

LEAVE THIS MAN! He thinks less of you than dog poop. He won’t step on that but he will step on you.

He left you in those conditions outside and didn’t come home to let you in????

It is madness to be near someone who is so malicious to you.

He will never change, and why should he. Most times bad and evil men are empowered by women.
Women that couldn’t say no and let them trample over them.

Please leave, it will never ever get better. You’ve shown him that he can treat you badly and you’ll stay. You shown him that you treasure him more than yourself and that is now the blueprint of your relationship. He will never step up to be the man you want, because you’ve shown him many times that you’ll accept his crap.

You are too young to be living in such misery and too dependent on him. Literally the perfect breeding ground for abuse.

• Leave him
• get new friends
• learn to drive

Never let your man be your world! But the most important thing is that you chuck him out ASAP or move in with your mum.

Be prepared for gaslighting, abuse or the opposite. Tears and promises to be better. If he apologises just know he will not change and if you stay with him it’ll be more misery.

in fact, if you stay with him after today. The abuse may step up, because you would show him that he can treat you in the worst way and you will stay

If any of the troll hunters want to give up their valuable time to be a CAB advisor, they'd find people who've had many years of abuse come in for advice.

The OP is right to realise she could be in this situation in years to come, people often hope that their situations will improve but sadly, it's generally not the case.

Heartbreaking advising a 70+yo who's still being battered...either mentally, emotionally or physically.

Stop with the minutiae. What does it matter? It matters only that she's safe and now gets away from him.

Or why not read the whole thread @BusyGoldBee.

Jeez, louder for those at the back! Read the fucking thread you numpties.

Morning OP.

Well. I really hope you're going into 2025 free of this bloodsucking cuntbag of a manchild! Right now it will feel like shit, really awful cos you've to admit to yourself all that you've put up with & that's going to hurt.

But!

Once that's done & this part is in the past you're just sailing free into your 30's (which is far far better than your 20's in so many ways).

Don't change your mind.
Don't let him lovebomb you.
Don't feel bad.

You've got this! Shitty, shitty way for this to have happened but obviously necessary. Hopefully your mum has your back & you get your keyrings. Just write the rest off, it's poisoned now anyway.

If Op isn't genuine she went to a lot of trouble to fool us. Posting through the night with screen shots of conversations.
Typical though to get up this morning, not bother to use the very useful feature, "OP's posts. Read all", instead ask a load of inane questions, then report the thread.

Just let us know later OP that you're OK.
Hope it was mum or the police who caused you to stop posting so abruptly and not the boyfriend who would be incapable.