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AIBU?

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Original poster

He’s fucking locked me out.

859 replies

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 22:04

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

OP posts:
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HagathaChristi · 15/12/2024 00:27

Good for you, OP. This is the beginning of a better life for you. It is one of the worst feelings to be locked out of your own home. I hope this never happens to you again. Fuck him. What a moronic shitbag he is.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 14/12/2024 22:40

Hope you are getting the love and support you need...don't ever look back x

Bigcat25 · 14/12/2024 22:07

He sounds like a massive narcissist or sociopath. I'd be tempted to sell or donate everything you've bought but I understand it's not worth the hassle and you don't want to look back.

Caiti19 · 14/12/2024 22:03

Are you staying with your Mum now? Was her reaction one of support?

Dollybantree · 14/12/2024 21:22

FuckingFreezing1 · 14/12/2024 19:41

I wasn’t giving him the opportunity to turn it on me. That’s why I didn’t cause a scene. And men like this, no amount of shouting crying and begging makes any difference and I’ve learned that the hard way

You’ve handled it the best way OP.

Hes an abusive gaslighter and will never admit wrongdoing - what’s the point in tying yourself in knots arguing with him? It just feeds into his delight in upsetting you so don’t give him the chance. Just block the dickhead and move on with your life.

Fantastic news you’ve just walked away - good luck with everything 💐

Peoniesandcats · 14/12/2024 20:43

Well done you, hope you are ok! Some good advice and resources for support in the thread. Keep us updated how you get on please

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 14/12/2024 20:32

Make sure you get your name taken off the tenancy and see if the housing association will help you find another property, tell them you and moved out as he locked you out all night.

BarbaraVineFan · 14/12/2024 20:05

Well done OP, that's brilliant.

LozzaChops101 · 14/12/2024 19:55

Enjoy your freedom!

Ohnobackagain · 14/12/2024 19:55

@FuckingFreezing1 well done. I bet that’s a weight off. But, please sort out the bills and explain to the landlord exactly what’s happened and make sure you are no longer liable. With your name on stuff he could trash the place if he can’t pay and then disappear leaving a hell of a mess for you.

misscockerspaniel · 14/12/2024 19:51

You deserve a lovely partner who loves you. Here's to 2025 - onwards and upwards.

Doubledenim305 · 14/12/2024 19:43

Well done. You have 💯 done the right thing. I feel so sorry for what u have gone though. You sound like a lovely person. Happy Christmas and new year.

Original poster
FuckingFreezing1 · 14/12/2024 19:41

I wasn’t giving him the opportunity to turn it on me. That’s why I didn’t cause a scene. And men like this, no amount of shouting crying and begging makes any difference and I’ve learned that the hard way

OP posts:
QuintessentialDragon · 14/12/2024 19:32

SassK · 14/12/2024 17:38

[There was no mention of violence/coercion, historic or otherwise] In my world, it wouldn't be considered remotely idiotic; the preceding several years of tolerance would be thus.

I usually avoid these threads when the high fiving starts (thank you for the reminder).

Show quote history

Oh ffs.

So there's a man who treated OP like shit for 6 years, left her outside to freeze for the whole night in December, came back after a whole night of coking/drinking/both and was sleeping of a monster of hangover when OP was packing up to leave. His cash cow, bill payer, food cooker, cleaner, emotional punching bag is leaving him.

And you suggest to crash, bang, and make a scene in this scenario? So the hungover oaf wakes up from his sleep, pissed off, and sees OP leaving him? Yea. Smart.

I've known one 'feisty' (stupid) woman like that. Last time she did this, it was EXACTLY the same scenario (without the locking out part). Him sleeping drunk after an argument, her crashing, banging and gathering her shit. He woke up, she called him all sorts whilst crashing and banging. He put her in hospital with life changing injuries. She never fully recovered and is unable to move half of her face.

It's monumentally stupid to provoke a man who is not sober and who you're leaving. Even if there was no physical abuse up to that point. He can always snap, there's always a first time with his sort.

BunnyLake · 14/12/2024 19:24

Well done for leaving. 👏🏻👏🏻

Please don’t ever go back to him.

Left · 14/12/2024 19:19

Well done OP! so happy for you - hear’s to a fresh new start for you in 2025!

Take some time next week to cancel your name from all the bills and the tenancy.

MyLoyalEagle · 14/12/2024 18:51

OP, hope you're in your mom's house.
I am heart broken for you.

XmasElfOnTheShelff · 14/12/2024 18:42

Well done OP! You’re a legend.

fluffiphlox · 14/12/2024 18:40

Good for you. 30 is no age believe me.

Normallynumb · 14/12/2024 18:34

Well done OP you've spent enough years with him
Have a lovely Christmas with those who love and support you.
New year, new start
Wishing you well

Soubriquet · 14/12/2024 18:20

Good for you OP. It’s nice to read a woman stick up for herself. Don’t let him love bomb you back

When you feel weak, come back and read this

Americano75 · 14/12/2024 18:17

Ruined his night? I'd ruin his fucking life.

Cosycore · 14/12/2024 18:00

I’m so relieved that you’ve come back to the thread OP. I was getting really worried for your safety.

Just popping back to say well done, you’ve done it. I really hope you look after yourself.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 14/12/2024 17:55

I'm so happy to read your update, I've been thinking of you! I don't think I would have been as nice as you though, I'd have taken those keys and denied it all the way.
Onward and upwards and happy Christmas

AutumnFroglets · 14/12/2024 17:46

FuckingFreezing1 · 14/12/2024 16:14

No I took my key rings. He can have the keys.

Well done OP. This is the first day of the rest of your life Flowers💪