He’s fucking locked me out.

"he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in."

Is your Mum somewhere nearby that you could meet her? I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be on your own in the cold. Sorry your parner is such an arsehole, he should be heading home early or inviting you to join him since this situation is his fault.

@Plastictrees I have read the updates, if she asks him to meet her outside the venue with the keys so she can go home he might meet her if she says she doesn't want to come in.
Also I do believe it's partly her fault who gives a man your keys when they keep losing theirs and who believes a man who's going to a works Christmas party that says he's not going to drink and will be home before nine. ( I'd say only a few in a million would be home )
Never put yourself in a position that makes you totally reliant on a man.
She needs to dump him, new year new start and if I had to get in debt to my mum for a locksmith I would and I'd leave his belongings on the doorstep.

Victim shaming at its finest.

She hasn't actually said whether he even knows this.. he may think she has gone to her mums or a friends for example which I think would be the first port of all. If she's not called him to say she's stuck, after a few drinks in perhaps he is merrily sauced up and unaware...

Sitting here moaning about it isn't really going to change the situation, a decision needs to be made. All the other stuff about the relationship etc is not a now problem, now problem is getting out of the cold!

Nope sorry, it’s not irrelevant at all. The most important thing she can take away from this is that her own actions fucked her over. And her own future actions will (hopefully) prevent that from happening. It’s not about keys and it’s not about him. It’s about seeing something play out again and again, and still not protecting yourself from being negatively impacted by it.

Who knows???

Similar recently; except last time she was sat on a pavement after refusing to walk home due to an argument. This also reminded me of that.

This woman is clearly in a highly abusive and toxic relationship and has been locked out of her house when it’s freezing in the dark for hours. Try and imagine how that must feel! Have some common sense and empathy for gods sake.

Plenty of people in abusive relationships struggle to comprehend how they can leave. That’s why abusers do what they do. You’re a stranger behind a screen on the internet in your presumably safe, warm house trying to tell her how many options she has open to her. Easy for you to say from a place of privilege. You don’t know her or anything about her life other than what she’s written which is awful. You don’t live her life or suffer the consequences of it to tell her that’s she’s not ready to be helped. Your arrogance and ignorance is exceptional.

Why would she hope to end up hospitalised? It’s a serious possibility if he doesn’t come back. She can’t currently get herself out of a situation that an abuser has put her in. Why are you accusing her of being manipulative when she’s clearly struggling and in a vulnerable position? That’s sure what it sounds like. We don’t use Mumsnet as a way to bring people down emotionally when they’re literally at an all time low in their lives. Does it make you feel superior? It should make you feel shameful and embarrassed. Mumsnet is for people who want to help. Do better.

It's your fault if you continue to allow yourself to be treated like shit.

If that's what you want, then at least never ever lend him your keys again, then he can be the one enjoying being locked out, not you.

I thought it was the same poster initially. But that was a very long term relationship.

I don't understand letting someone who chronically loses keys take the very last key you have. If he loses this one, you'll need a locksmith.

Anyway, sounds like the relationship is dead in the water anyway and he makes you miserable. Having a joint tenancy complicates things a bit - do you think he'd be willing to move out?

Yes! Well remembered!

So much drip feeding going on in this post. Is this even about the key at all?!

Yeah, it was bad planning on his part to say he'd be home at 9 and then... Not do that.

Well she's put up with it for 6 years and gave the only set of keys to someone who regularly loses keys.

Obviously she needs an immediate solution now. There are 4 options - emergency locksmith, hotel, all night café or go to a friend's.

In the longer term she needs to sort this out permanently.

I hope you are OK OP. Please take no notice of the people who turn up here to give someone in trouble a good kicking.

It can be hard to leave a partner who you presumably loved at one point and start again, but I really hope this is your lightbulb moment (I have been there).

Sending you strength to start again and have a hopefully brighter 2025.

Have you actually read the full thread? Would you really keep on dancing and drinking in the warm knowing your partner was freezing in a bus shelter because YOU had lost the keys and then lied about when you would be home.

What are the police supposed to do? They'll do what everyone on here has suggested. Friend or neighbour, locksmith or hotel

Maybe you should read the OP’s updates. The keys are the least of her concerns.

Just go to the pub or a casual restaurant or food court place?

I'd hate my partner turning up at my work do tbf. Bad planning really!

wtf is wrong with him.
He is out of order.
As others have said hotel sounds like a good idea at this point

This is really awful OP. I hope you get in soon.

Please please consider a life without this man. His behaviour is grinding you down and you will never get what you need from him. You have the strength to leave and make a better life for yourself. You don’t have to accept this. You are worth more.

He’s a horrible disrespectful bastard.
You can do a lot better for yourself.
Start planning.

Omg how is this helpful right now?
Rightly or wrongly she gave him the keys and is now locked out in the cold in a bus shelter. You are coming across like an utter prick by banging on about how silly she was for giving him the keys. It's irrelevant. All that matters is that she is warm and safe and hopefully thinks about leaving the bastard tomorrow.