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AIBU?

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Original poster

He’s fucking locked me out.

859 replies

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 22:04

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

OP posts:
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Normallynumb · 13/12/2024 23:57

I'm glad you're now in McDonald's warm and safe
See this as your lightbulb moment. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and kindness.
Make next year a happier one

LordBummenbachsMagnificentBalls · 13/12/2024 23:57

This time next year op you could be in a place of your own, total peace and quiet, no shitbag to take care of and no lost keys.
I know it feels tough getting there but really you would be better alone than abused like this to have company

I hope you find the strength to get out x

FontSnob · 13/12/2024 23:56

You’re lonely now, whilst you’re in a relationship with him, so what is there to lose if you leave him?

raspberryripplecheesecake · 13/12/2024 23:55

I hope you remember how he made you feel tonight to empower you to leave and not look back. You must feel so lonely and abandoned. Does he know where you are now? Will he let you know he has got home so you can get some sleep?

Catoo · 13/12/2024 23:54

Do you know any of his colleagues? Can you ring any of them or look at their socials to work out where he is and get the key? I would not give a shiny shit how cross he was that I turned up.

Can you be buzzed into the main building? If not I’d go and get a hotel.

Have you asked him where he is again or when he’s coming back?

LauderSyme · 13/12/2024 23:53

Renamed · 13/12/2024 23:51

I hope you take the war to him. I hope you scorch him into obliteration. Then I hope you kick him out for good.

This is great! Poetic and fierce! Do this OP!

PleaseStopEatingMyStuff · 13/12/2024 23:52

I'm pleased your warm in MacDonalds now OP. He'll be back soon & you can get back in. Then you'll both go to sleep. In the morning he'll act all weirdly normal untill YOU bring up tonight. Then they'll be a big row because he'll get defensive, & you'll somehow get the blame for everything.

Or you can chose this as the final straw. I hope you can do that. I hope you can wake up tomorrow and tell him to leave or leave yourself. Because frankly he's a piece of shit.

Renamed · 13/12/2024 23:51

I hope you take the war to him. I hope you scorch him into obliteration. Then I hope you kick him out for good.

Gofastboatsmojito · 13/12/2024 23:51

OP if this is the event that helps you realise what a shitbag he is and how incapable of love he is then it's worth the short term misery.
I hope you are already mentally leaving him tonight and follow through starting tomorrow.
Good luck, you deserve so much better. Being single will be bliss compared to a shitty relationship with this POS

Original poster
FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:47

Probably. It’s just admitting it to myself. I’ll never ever be a priority. I’ll never be anything except someone who pays the bills, cooks, cleans. I am a fool, a silly fool. I think I’m lonely tbh.
Of all the things the man has done this just takes the biscuit. I’m in work in the morning, which will probably be on little to no sleep.

OP posts:
MellowJello77 · 13/12/2024 23:46

TheGrinchIsComingToTown · 13/12/2024 22:13

@HollyBaubles77 the issue is OP hasn't taken the initiative to get a key box or have multiple keys cut.

Not sure how a key box particularly helps if he has access to it and loses keys all the time? Presumably he’ll let himself in one time and forget to put it back?

Onceuponatime9 · 13/12/2024 23:45

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:44

I don’t think he’d give a fuck tbh. I could probably get away with just walking out and never speaking again and he’d never notice.

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Well you know what you have to do

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 13/12/2024 23:45

That sounds a lot better than dealing with him! Where would you go - your mum’s?

Original poster
FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:44

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 13/12/2024 23:43

He’s a fucker and you’re scared of him. Or at least scared of his emotional abuse and aggro. How would you go about dumping him? Think it through. What would you do first?

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I don’t think he’d give a fuck tbh. I could probably get away with just walking out and never speaking again and he’d never notice.

OP posts:
Onceuponatime9 · 13/12/2024 23:44

It's a stressful time of year for many. Your relationship may never recover from this but if drink was involved who knows.

Canthinkofaname58 · 13/12/2024 23:43

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:42

I hope you live the best life and the freedom brings you nothing but happiness ❤️

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Thank you so much lovely, I wish the same for you x

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 13/12/2024 23:43

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:40

I put up with it because for so long it’s hurt too much to think that this person couldn’t give a shit about me. So when he throws me the weakest crumbs I take them
But how can I deny it now. I can’t sit and kid myself that this man gives a single shit about me.

He’s a fucker and you’re scared of him. Or at least scared of his emotional abuse and aggro. How would you go about dumping him? Think it through. What would you do first?

Chillilounger · 13/12/2024 23:42

Go and join I. With his works do. If he doesn't like it- tough. You can tell them all how he wanted you to wait in the cold until he was done.

Original poster
FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:42

Canthinkofaname58 · 13/12/2024 23:39

I can remember being a teenager and watching the storyline on Eastenders where a woman (Maureen?) was being abused by her husband (Tony?) and thinking “why wouldn’t you just leave”. Now, twenty-odd years later, having lived with someone abusive for around four years I am ashamed of myself for having that thought and am disgusted at the people on here asking the same of the OP. Until you have lived with abuse you will not only never be able to comprehend a trauma bond but the many other factors that can keep you trapped. For me it has been financial abuse and thankfully for me I will have the means to escape in the New Year but you have absolutely no idea why the OP is trapped, none of us do. Bashing her for not wanting the repercussions of going to get the key is not only completely unhelpful but utterly insensitive. I completely understand it - you will do anything to keep the peace, save yourself from days of abuse and having to apologise despite knowing you are not the one in the wrong - even if it is to your own detriment.

OP I hope you find the strength to leave, I promise I know how hard it is and I completely understand the trauma bond but I promise you deserve so much more (and I know deep down you know this yourself). Stay safe, I promise you are stronger than you give yourself credit for x

I hope you live the best life and the freedom brings you nothing but happiness ❤️

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 13/12/2024 23:41

Good luck with your New Year plans @Canthinkofaname58 Stay safe and have a wonderful peaceful 2025

betterangels · 13/12/2024 23:40

I hope you leave. There is a better life than this. Don’t waste more time on him.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 13/12/2024 23:40

RogueFemale · 13/12/2024 23:31

Victim of what? There has been no abuse. He's just an arsehole boyfriend.

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How the fuck do you know? Read the thread and read between the lines with a bit more emotional intelligence

Winesoup · 13/12/2024 23:40

Sounds like he doesn't care about or respect you, and you don't like him, and are maybe a bit afrid of him as you won't go and collect your keys from him to avoid his bad temper.

You've no kids so why stay with him? You have one life, why waste yours on a shitty man.

Original poster
FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:40

I put up with it because for so long it’s hurt too much to think that this person couldn’t give a shit about me. So when he throws me the weakest crumbs I take them
But how can I deny it now. I can’t sit and kid myself that this man gives a single shit about me.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 13/12/2024 23:39

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:34

I’m in McDonald’s thankfully, phone was literally on its last legs and they’ve got the wireless chargers on the tables thank GOD

The way some people have berated you on this thread I would prepare to be told off for eating UPF 😉

Glad you are safe and warm. Now to plan for the rest of your life...