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AIBU?

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Original poster

He’s fucking locked me out.

859 replies

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 22:04

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

OP posts:
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Original poster
FuckingFreezing1 · 14/12/2024 00:38

Nope still in McDonald’s 🙃
Tried ringing but no answer, there never is when he’s out.

OP posts:
PinkArt · 14/12/2024 00:37

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:44

I don’t think he’d give a fuck tbh. I could probably get away with just walking out and never speaking again and he’d never notice.

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Please, please do this. You deserve so much better then a life with this cunt. Could you stay with your mum for a bit while you get sorted?

Bourbonxo · 14/12/2024 00:36

I hope you managed to get in okay OP. You deserve a loving relationship where you both value and care about each other. This guy doesn't seem to have your best interests at heart at all.

HoundsOfHelfire · 14/12/2024 00:33

Are you in Op?

He really doesn’t give a shit about you and treats you like some muck on his shoes. Time to prioritise your well-being and true happiness. You deserve someone who loves and respects you. Someone willing to go the extra mile because they care.

it’s irrelevant who’s got the keys, any loving partner would ensure you were safe and warm and able to sleep so your fresh for work.

tolerable · 14/12/2024 00:33

ThePoshUns · 13/12/2024 22:34

Why are you with such a loser?

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Wtf? You rat

PinkyFlamingo · 14/12/2024 00:30

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 22:15

What part of “I got sick of paying for new keys cos he loses them” insinuates that I haven’t had multiple keys.
Theres been that many cut then lost they probably get auctioned off at police raffles.

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Bit why are you paying for his new keys all the time?

Thevelvelletes · 14/12/2024 00:30

Roryno · 14/12/2024 00:26

I hope you manage to get freedom for yourself. And build yourself up again. You should read this thread every time you think you want to stay.

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That's top notch advice.
Op he doesn't love nor value you.
I don't get how someone could treat their partner like this.hopefully you get into your home soon.

Roryno · 14/12/2024 00:26

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 23:42

I hope you live the best life and the freedom brings you nothing but happiness ❤️

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I hope you manage to get freedom for yourself. And build yourself up again. You should read this thread every time you think you want to stay.

KTSl1964 · 14/12/2024 00:24

You've are tolerating this shit? WHY - do something - therapy - leave?.you have no children - get your life back

CalicoPusscat · 14/12/2024 00:22

fridaynight1 · 14/12/2024 00:21

Way too much drama and I really don’t get why you aren’t tucked up in bed at the nearest Premier Inn.

Cost, probably. And she just wants to go home.

JFDIYOLO · 14/12/2024 00:21

Are you still in MacDonald's - will it stay open?

Once you get in the house, I would not start anything tonight. He'll have been drinking and could be aggressive. You've said how unreasonable he is. And you'll need some sleep.

But if you're at work tomorrow, spend some time thinking this through.

Women's Aid is helpful in leaving abusive relationships. Lots of info and reading material here while you wait:

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/i-want-to-leave-my-relationship-safely/

The book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft is often recommended here:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

You've recognised you're currently stuck in an abusive relationship and only you can get yourself out.

All best.

I want to leave my relationship safely - Women’s Aid

The Survivor’s Handbook provides practical support and information for women experiencing domestic abuse, with simple guidance on every aspect of seeking support.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/i-want-to-leave-my-relationship-safely

CrocsNotDocs · 14/12/2024 00:21

Your life doesn’t have to be like this OP.

Imagine coming home from work to your own peaceful flat. You can cook when and what you like, watch what you want on tv, have friends over or go out when you want. Your place and space. Calm and drama and fear free.

fridaynight1 · 14/12/2024 00:21

Way too much drama and I really don’t get why you aren’t tucked up in bed at the nearest Premier Inn.

CalicoPusscat · 14/12/2024 00:16

Hope he's back now

Enterthedragonqueen · 14/12/2024 00:15

https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

BoyzIIMen · 14/12/2024 00:12

You only have one set of keys because he keeps losing his?

So you give him that one set of keys when he's going out drinking for the evening!

You'd better hope he doesn't lose them too as you'll both be locked out!

Doesn't sound like the best plan!!!!

Ohnobackagain · 14/12/2024 00:11

After you get home, wait for him to go out and get the locks changed. Don’t give him a key. Don’t let him in. See how he likes it. You deserve so much better. And let’s be honest - on your own in peace is better than being with ‘someone’ living like this. Hope you’re ok and have managed to sort something out to get rid of him.

Grammarnut · 14/12/2024 00:11

HollyBaubles77 · 13/12/2024 22:13

My god - so many men apologists on here!

Not from me. I wouldn't have given him the keys. Get a key safe where OP puts his key. She keeps her own keys.
I have already suggested she go to the party. Mind, not sure her DP is worth the effort.

Grammarnut · 14/12/2024 00:08

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 22:06

He has my keys. The reason there’s one set of keys is because he lost the spare.

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He didn't lose the spare, he lost his keys. Why didn't he get another set cut? Get a taxi and go to his work do. It's a party, have fun!

chattyness · 14/12/2024 00:06

He is knowingly leaving you outside, alone and unsafe in the dark & cold,what a selfish arsehole. I'm glad you're in a warm safe space now OP . I would make no reference to this event, but instead quietly begin to make plans to get free of him. In the meantime get yourself a spare key without telling him you so that you're never stuck in this situation again.

Grammarnut · 14/12/2024 00:06

FuckingFreezing1 · 13/12/2024 22:04

Basically this. I’ve text him as I can’t get in, I’ve just finished work. He’s on a works Xmas party.

Said he was setting off at 8:45 and he’d be home for 9 so I said cool, take the key.

Now it’s 10pm and I’m sat in a fucking bus shelter because he’s locked me out and won’t come back with the keys, he’s out and apparently I’m unreasonable for asking him to come home to at least let me in.

I haven’t a clue what to do, it’s 4°, my street is poorly lit and this place doesn’t shut til 12. I can’t afford a lock change so that’s out of the question and my mums not in. So I literally have to just wait.

Why don't you both have keys?
Go to a hotel.

PiggyPigalle · 14/12/2024 00:04

No way is he not drinking in all this time. Will he drive home?

The loneliest place to be is in a bad relationship. That's very different to being alone. You'll never meet anyone decent while you're with him, as your radar is switched off.

Bananalanacake · 14/12/2024 00:02

You realise that a normal, decent guy would be mortified you are locked out because of him and would tell you to get a cab to the pub, they'd pay for it and get you a drink. I hope you gather the will to leave, not owning a property together makes it easier.

Thevelvelletes · 13/12/2024 23:59

What a pig leaving you to have to sit in a MacDonalds at nearly midnight and you've work in the morning.
As pp have said you need shot of this prick.
Life shouldn't be this hard.

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 13/12/2024 23:59

Im baffled at how come you allowed him to go out today with the only keys knowing he is unreliable/prone to loosing them. What if he looses that set............. then you will both be locked out! (sorry but its true)
Id get two lots sorted next week - one so you've got got a set each. And a set to hide in case the inevitable happens and he looses them yet again. Maybe even a third lot - to ask a neighbour to keep for you. And a fourth for a key safe outside your house.
Or just bin him!

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