He’s fucking locked me out.

When you pack up your things to leave and stay with your mum you should take the keys with you and drop them off at the landlord/ housing association 1. So he hasn’t got any and 2. You won’t get charged for a new set. Make sure you tell them he’s abusive and you want to be off the tenancy agreement urgently

Hi Op,

It sounds like you’re with a partner who mirrors a childhood that didn’t meet your needs. It’s not your fault that you got locked out and trusted your partner to be there.

I think you need to end the relationship and find a way forward. You’re still very young but once you have children leaving will be harder.

You’re so broken down that yo this problem was overwhelming - that’s not your fault but I can tell you’re emotionally exhausted and unable to think forward or out of things easily.

You need to get out of the relationship - a home of your own and no men for a while until you’ve repaired your childhood and background & healed with a good therapist.

You’re only 29! That’s so young, so much time to live the life you deserve.

You sound so fed up but also like you’ve woken up to what he is and that you deserve better. Make 2025 the year you turn your life around. I agree with you about just leaving it all behind, after you’ve got your things of course and clearing it with the landlord.

I would expect your ex will use this as an opportunity to play more mind games so if you say you don’t want the flat he will try and get you to stay and be stuck paying the rent etc. So be prepared for having to deal with more crap until that’s sorted but after that you’ll be free of him.

Is his abuse emotional only it has he ever gotten physical? Just wondering if you need to involve the police.

I hope you're somewhere warm sleeping, and you can call in sick without too much of an issue today.

Get that man out of your life op, he's absolutely no good.

Focus on the fact that you are now making choices that will see you in a more stable situation soon. Stupid man baby. I'm just hope that wherever you are you are warm and safe with people you love.

She didn’t lose her key, so why would she?

She lent her key in good faith that the nobber would be back home before her.

Let this be your mantra moving into the new year OP.
Repeat this to yourself over and over.
Let no one be the boss of you.
You are the only person who gets to tell you what to do.
I hope you're with your mum right now, in a safe and warm space.
If you were my daughter I would move heaven and earth to get to you, wherever you were.

Come the morning, make plans to get your keyrings, get your stuff and get out.

Let last night be the LAST time you have anything to do with this useless excuse of a human being.
Make friends.
They can be a lifeline in situations like these.
At the very least, a friend could have taken you in for the night, or driven you to pick up your keys.
Don't let him isolate you any further and use you as a crutch for his lifestyle.

All the best OP.
Remember you are worth more than this x

I hope you’re somewhere warm and can get your stuff tomorrow.

Will your mum be supportive? Does she like him?

I really hope you're at your mum's now, tucked up in bed.

It made me sad to read that she'd be cross with you for calling so late.

I can't imagine ever being annoyed with my DC if they were in such a horrible situation.

Make 2025 your year. Being single is often much less lonely than being with the wrong person.

He was due home before OP finished work so she gave him the key.

Sorry I haven't rtft. But, why don't you keep your own keys for yourself. If he loses his keys, then that's up to him to get a new set. And if he hasn't done that, then he will just have to fit in with you and your schedule. Why are you giving him your keys?? And then complaining when he's not home to let you in? Is he violent or abusive....are you scared of him? Is he manipulating you? Seriously, you need to get away from him, this relationship is not working out.

@FuckingFreezing1 - I hope you (a) managed to get some sleep in a safe place, and (b) will gather the strength needed to kick out this abusive POS and/or go home to your mum.

Once you are safe, take steps to focus on b your self esteem and work out why you let this go on for as long as it did. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Barden is a good start.

Hi OP, hope you are somewhere safe and warm this morning x

Op please save this thread and re read it if you feel like staying with him . You know you need to leave or it will just keep happening. You deserve better and in every way you would be better off on your own

Make your New Year resolutions now Op.

1). Leave the selfish fucker you currently live with for good
2) Learn to drive (assuming you want to, that is)
3) Never, ever give your house keys to anyone ever again

At least read the OP'S posts.
She has paid for multiple copies of the keys and he keeps losing them.
He told her he'd be home earlier than her.

Oh Op after you get your keys back and leave his arse, please seek some therapy for all the damage and trauma he’s inflicted on you.
Also your Mum won’t be annoyed, she will be grateful that you’ve finally seen the light and are free of him.
She’s probably more aware of how he treated you than what you realise.
Good luck, you deserve better than this.

If I was your mum I wouldn’t be annoyed at all

you’d be brought in a mug of whatever and off to bed with a hot water bottle no questions asked.

I’d phoning work for you saying whatever so you wouldn’t have to worry about work. Then I’d be round the flat emptied it most likely with him bitching that's mine knowing it bloody ain’t.

Then leave him ASAP!

Perhaps read the whole thread, or at least all of OP's replies. She's outlined the answer to this a number of times.

Read the OP’s answers and you’ll know. They are her keys.

Her boyfriend has her keys. Huge mistake to lend them to him though.

Hopefully OP is at her mother's now.

This is awful. At least it shows you what little regard he has for you. My ex was an arse in many ways, but he would have been straight in a taxi if he knew I was sitting alone in McDonalds in the middle of the night for 5-6hrs. This has to be the final straw for this miserable relationship. You’re so young OP, go to your mum and start again, build some relationships with your friends again. Leave the absolute arsehole to it. Really hope you got in, and left and are safe. Please let us know. Take care OP.

My thoughts also.

The good thing about this is that you have finally woken up to see how vile he has been/is. Ask him to leave tomorrow.