He’s fucking locked me out.

Well the fact is this woman needs to help herself, but the way her posts are worded, she doesn't want to be helped.

There are many brave and strong women on here who would be able to help the OP with practical advice and support, but before that, they need a shift in mindset away from victim mentality to feeling empowered to make this life change, because ain't nobody else who can do that for them.

How are you, OP?

Why would you give the only key to someone who keeps losing keys?

That's kind of important information that probably should have been in the first post.

You shouldn't have let him have the key. He loses his key he needs to get another one.

Ltb

You need to dump him immediately, someone who cares so little about you is not worth it. And never give a pig like that your keys, he can sit outside in the cold, not you.

Don't make excuses for him. Drug use is 'just' part of a far larger picture. He doesn't give a single fuck about you, your relationship is a 10 on the toxic scale. I couldn't rest for a second knowing my dog was stuck outside, yet this man has been content to leave you outside AND behave as the wronged party??? You deserve soooo much better - you really do!

It makes me sad to read the levels of disrespect some women on here are prepared to tolerate, often it seems without even realising how poorly they're being treated 😔

I certainly wouldn't.

My point is STOP FOCUSING ON THE SINGLE SET OF KEYS AND HELP THE WOMAN.

Sorry to shout.

If you do finally leave his arse, it will be the best thing he’s ever (albeit unwittingly) done for you.

This is precisely why I'd not come to mumsnet for advice if the shit hit the fan. Far too many people more concerned with finding fault so they can momentarily feel better about themselves than with helping or providing comfort.
Not what someone in distress needs at all.

The difference is that I bet (at least I hope) you don't send abusing messages to people you share a house when they're locked out, whilst you knowingly stay out on the lash with your mates so they have to camp out in a 24 hr McDonalds to keep warm.

HA's have their own domestic abuse support workers, speak to them and tell them what happened, they can help you move on / out .

It doesn't matter what he will or won't do. It doesn't matter right now why you've stayed though we all know. End things today, because eventually he'll leave you and it will really hit home how much time you've wasted on him and you'd wish you'd got out at the first sign of trouble.

Here you are OP, if you really want to make positive change in your life, read this:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/698029-Right-listen-up-everybody

FFS. Read the OPs updates.

Gosh OP, I hope you got to your Mums and got some sleep. I hope you find the strength to leave this prick and find someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated. You've wasted your 20s on him, don't waste your 30s. You are in the prime of your life, enjoy it.

I hope you are safe and warm now. It always shocks me how horrible people can be to each other.

I hope you have been able to get hold of your mum and have told her everything. At 30 you have your whole life ahead still to move on from this.

I had a (sexes reversed) relationship with some similar characteristics to yours in my mid twenties; unfortunately with alcohol abuse and violence, on top of the casual drug use, at the end.

I was shockingly naive (first LTR, first cohabiting relationship etc) and found it really difficult to accept it was unhealthy, but… the profound relief when it was finally all over was like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I didn’t realise how far she had dragged me down in myself.

I’m hoping you follow through on your decision to just pack a bag and leave, OP (when the shit that calls himself your ‘partner’ finally drags his arse back). Nobody deserves so little consideration in a relationship.

What a tone deaf post. Have you actually read this thread? OP is a victim of abuse.

Well apparently on this thread, anyone who points out that the OP is enabling his appalling selfish behaviour by continuing to give him numerous house keys so he never gets to know the consequences of his actions, is the devil incarnate

if people on here really want to do the OP a favour they should be helping her with suggestions on how to get this arsehole out of her life. This housekey charade has been going on for years apparently but people are just going "there, there, poor you" instead of pointing out the reality.

the sad thing is the OP has listed numerous unacceptable behaviours but not once shows any resolve in getting this arsewipe from dragging her down in life.

At some stage there's a need for a bit of personal ownership otherwise she'll be back here again and again moaning about him but nothing will change. Seen it a million and one times on MN,

Jesus. Read the thread.

OP I hope this is a turning point for you. What a cruel and nasty man.

I've lost my keys a few times. So have members of my family.

(crowd boos)