Partner didn't text?

Why didn't you ask him to come over to help when your little one is sick? It's just as much his responsibility to look after his child as it is yours. To be honest, the fact that he didn't just come straight over when his child is sick would be enough for me to dump him. You and his child are obviously not his priority.

YANBU. Of course he should have checked in on you and your DC. And it is not ok that he comes back at you saying that you've shown who you truly are. Some awful blame shifting instead of apologising for not checking in sooner.

Look: he is an asshole. This is not argument that you have with someone who loves you. He “turns it back around on you” and leaves you mire confused because he is a shit human being. He doesn’t care about you or his child. You were sick, kid was sick, so no sex or home cooked meals. He couldn’t be bothered.

Just stop. Drop him. He doesn’t care.

YANBU. It is his child, if you were totally separated then he should have still been concerned, as a so called partner he should have been there.
Doesn't sound like much of a relationship, are you sure he doesn't just like having convenient sex and no child maintenance to pay? Honestly think you'd be better off properly separated.

Really. That's the bit that matters? Not the fact that he's a useless flake of a man?
OP my DH would never ever behave like your so called partner. If he's working and the kids are ill he checks in a few times a day, try and get back early to take over and make dinner. He'll let me have a rest and be concerned about his ill child. Pretty basic.
Don't get back with him he has shown you probably again and again that he is a useless, selfish fuck. You will definitely be better on your own.

It's not you.

So he carried on dinning out and sleeping late with absolutely no thought about his young child's illness.

I get you actually this happened to me except ex was the one who fed dd shit and got her ill (basically fed her greasy chips twice in a few hours plus sweets chocolate ice cream she was 1 vomit was pretty much inevitable) I rang him he said haha sorry my bad good luck trying to go see santa tomorrow I rang him to grab some meds he said he was out drinking he rolled up about two am I said great timing watch her for five minutes so I can wash this he wandered in saying she was kinda being sick and sorta choking on it I called him few words and dealt with it again his friend was looking traumatised by that point telling him to just fucking help man it's your kid he left and ex left after telling me I would be fine

I tried to get a lie in the following day before we went out he blew up my phone I went out he blew up my phone some more demanding I go back and give him his mums stepladder because she needed it "now" I was out the answer was no He wouldn't stop calling his mom called asking me to just let him get the ladders I said to her I wasn't fucking home she asked for her lawnmower back (a week before Christmas) fine but I'm still NOT HOME what do you mean your not home clearly your home answer the door or we will call the police FML CALL THEM IM NOT HOME I eventually got home the second my mom left he was at my door demanding the stepladder my sister came removed him from the house my family grabbed every bit of crap he left in my house and dumped it on his mothers lawn literally everything

Never asked him for help again and his mom returned the damm stepladder by putting it outside my house a day later

Has he got much experience of babies? He clearly doesn't know how horrible it is when they get ill. I don't think he realises that it's been crap for you. Not excusing him, he should care that his child is ill, but it honestly sounds like he hasn't a clue.

My children's dad checks in on them when they're ill because he is an engaged parent and cares about them and me. He's also been present enough to know what it's like when they get sick. Your child's dad didn't even stop to think he should make himself available or see if he could bring anything over. He's probably just clueless rather than malicious but you don't need this. Throw him back. YANBU.

@emiwrong if I cross paths with my neighbours and they tell me how sick they’ve been or their little one is - I ask them if they need anything getting. Can I pop to a pharmacy, walk the dog or do anything to ease their life a bit. I’ll probably check in the next day with a Facebook or WhatsApp message to see if they are better.

if I do that for a neighbour you better be dang sure I’d do that and more for family and friends.

I can’t imagine him being much more use of you lived together and can see how it’s going to be every time you or your child are sick.

split back up try to co parent amicably.

you both (you and DC) deserve better in your lives.

I'm probably just old but I don't understand why people don't phone.

You have a very young child, with a high temperature and vomiting.. First thing should be to phone your partner and discuss what to do. Then any normal partner and parent would come and.see child and make a plan about what to do together.

He sounds immature and not ready to be a proper parent. His "partner" is struggling on her own with a sick baby fir the first time and he's out eating and drinking and having a lie in. I don't think you should be playing games like not texting to see how long it takes him yo get in touch but he sounds completely rubbish.

Sorry I misread the thread a bit. I take back my comment above!

Sorry but you sound a bit nuts

If a man is such a joke of a man and father why would you expect any more from him?

I swear there are dozens of threads from people saying men are shitty partners and fathers when they'd already proved them to be so in the relationship before having a child.

I understand why you split up.
You sound hard work.
Counting hours imagine what it was like living with you jeez.
Your child has a bug like hundreds if other kids do but mothers dont do a count down.

I don't know any young men that would behave like this. He is a really rubbish man and father.

Is there a fixed contact schedule for him to parent and does he pay child maintenance?

Focus on him being a parent and doing the bare minimum for his child.

And another one who just doesn't understand the relationship dynamic. Surely you would just phone in the morning. Child is still really ill. Come over with calpol and help etc

You have a child under one, and yet you've split up been apart and are now back together for a few months.

So you must have split when baby was barely days old.

That is not the action of a man who wants to parent and who cares about the mother of his child.

And seemingly he is doing no actual parenting.

Just focus on your child and forget about having a relationship with him until he actually starts parenting.

So many questions. The whole set up seems like it’s not working. Does the child live with you full time, so you are the full time parent and he drops in when it suits him, and when he wants sex from you? Why did you split? Why did you get back together? What does he bring to your life?

Why didn’t you text him during the day to say child is feeling better/worse, did you want to see how long he would go without contact so that you could use that to start an argument?

I’m not saying what he did was right (I actually think he sounds pathetic), but why are you in this dynamic? Why aren’t you communicating better as partners? I’d be looking to pick this apart as much as possible and seeing if it’s feasible to continue being a couple.