If school fees were a struggle for you, do you think it was worth it?

Do state primary to find out what your child is actually like in relation to school. One of mine has ADHD and would’ve ended up being kicked out of the local private school. Its become clear that the local state secondaries will be best for her given the school styles in play.

I actually feel quite sad for you, not in a mean or pitying way, but it sounds like you'll basically be trying to get by for 12+ years to give your child what you feel is the best start in life and that will come at the cost of just having time and money to live and be happy together.

It's OK to just want to build a happy life together without feeling like you need to make the right choice on paper at the cost of a more comfortable life.

There are pros and cons to both choices and you can always make changes if life isn't working out X

Edited to clarify that what i mean is that it's OK to want to balance having nice things for you as well and you aren't failing as a parent because a comfortable life for you both doesn't make private school feasible.

Agree with it depends on your options and your children. We have a good state option, (but not super amazing - just a school that is known to be generally good, gets slightly better than average results etc but not remotely selective). My DS has still blossomed there. Private wouldn’t have been worth it for him. DH was privately educated and considers the whole thing a colossal waste of money, so it was always a bit of a non starter anyway!

It all depends what your choices are. If our state options had been better, we probably wouldn't have bothered, but the local comps were pretty awful in terms of bullying and poor behaviour. I’d say see how you get on at local primary school and go from there. If you can only do part comfortably id say secondary is a better investment.
Having said that, if there’s a wealthy grandparent would they consider paying the fees? Grandparents can pay school fees to reduce their estate - its very common at our school.
I don't regret what we’ve spent but it doesn’t worry me not going on fancy holidays and I don't own a handbag!

We did state primary in order to save up for indy secondary.
It is a struggle and VAT will make it even harder but we have deliberately chosen not to upsize the house etc. So far yes, it is worth it. Not for academic results but for the quality, breadth, depth of the offer + to see our DD blossom.

No, if it’s looking tight now then fees are likely to continue to go up quickly (in many cases quicker than inflation and therefore wages).

I wouldn’t want to start something that I couldn’t definitively continue for their entire school career (including sixth form).

Why don’t you keep them in state for primary, save hard and look again at your finances, fees etc in year 5/6?

Yes it was a struggle and,yes, it was worth every penny. The primary HT recommended it for our DS and he was right. He needed to be pushed and received an excellent all round education.

I don’t know which way to vote, but definitely worth it for us. Their school has been entirely brilliant for them and the local state offering unfortunately lacking. It is so dependent on the child and the school, but I’m very pleased we went for it.