To be annoyed at being told to be considerate of disabled people

You're just showing that you don't get it. I hope you never have to.

Maybe the sign is there for parents with older kids not baby changing?

I'm disabled. Lots of kids (and adults) who are capable of using non-disabled toilets do not do so. They just jump in the nearest toilet out of laziness.

That might be the only toilet in a whole building that a disabled person can use and we are having to hold in our pee waiting for someone to come out who is able to use the multiple toilets available to them but we can't go anywhere else.

Yes I know disabilities can be non-visible (mine are non visible) but if you can use another toilet you should do so.

Some of the responses on this thread are exactly why disabled people can never expect anything better than the dreadful facilities they have and if they dare to they will be swotted right back to their rightful place…at the bottom of the heap.

This. Childbirth is a choice. Disability isn’t. 🙄

Ridiculous response.
40 years ago when I had my ds there were no facilities for changing babies nappies, no mother and baby parking spaces, not even child car seats.
I’m delighted that things are better for parents now but yes you are coming over as entitled.
An able bodied parent can manage a dc in most situations whereas a disabled person absolutely requires special facilities to function equally in society.

I imagine it’s there because there have been disputes in the past about who takes precedence. Similar to people thinking their buggy takes precedence over a wheelchair user on a bus.

I think that is not what the poster was implying at all. If they are unable to provide a toilet that someone in a wheelchair, for instance can use, then why should a person in a wheelchair patronise them?

@Persianpaws I've been in a situation where I ended up with poo literally all over me due to not being able to access a baby change room fast enough when mine was a newborn - baby wasn't embarrassed but I sure was! That's life though, I didn't blame the people in the queue ahead of me or expect them to make way for me. What if your friend had to wait for other disabled users without bowel and kidney issues, would you have yelled at them for not letting her through first? Yes of course everyone should be considerate and not faff about unnecessarily in the toilets while others are waiting and ideally there would be separate changing facilities and disabled facilities everywhere but I don't think it's reasonable to expect to never have to wait for a public toilet.

Maybe it means don’t stop and breastfeed ? Though I don’t know what the set up is, we have a large one at a shopping centre in Aus with chairs sectioned off for breastfeeding.

What a load of ignorant and offensive bullshit. Why would you come on a thread mainly about disability issues and post like this ?

This has to be one of the most frustrating things about the theatre - people avoiding the huge ladies queue and 'nipping in' to the disabled - worse still sending a gaggle of tweens in together who don't realise a disabled person may be waiting to use the only loo they can access ..
Same at theme parks usually - oh they'll be quick, says the parents of the little darling while I wait there feeling desperate 🙄

Agree. What an appalling post.

In any event you can be sure it’s not disabled people who are doing it.

Nah - it's just saying this is primarily a disabled toilet and baby cha ge facility. So all you able bodied people / non baby changers, please dont come and spend ages pissing and crapping in a toilet facility not primarily in existence for you

Is there any reason why parents don't actually lobby for parent and child toilets instead of using disabled facilities?

Our local shopping centre does have a parent and child toilet. The local hospital has changing areas in both male and female toilets

No it’s not. A larger cubicle within a standard facility of other smaller cubicles can be used by either disabled people or those who need more room. That’s an accessible facility. Stand alone disabled toilet rooms which are separate from the standard facilities are not. They are for the use of disabled people only.

Do you actually know it's parents that do this? I find that it happens absolutely everywhere, including at my work which isn't a place where children ever are. I agree it's infuriating but I'm not sure it is something parents specifically are doing.

You obv do if you think a small business with no space but making an effort to include accessible facilities and baby change to increase their audience and income - is working against you. Yes, being disabled sucks - but so does being poor and not affording food or heating like 80% of the world outside the UK, being homeless, growing up with abusive parents, being infertile, being old and vulnerable and alone, being the victim of sexual assault and civil war, having nerve pain which can't be fixed with any medicine, having a terminal disease. And the list goes on - there's many ways to live which are isolating and difficult that aren't visible.

There are MANY groups who have a difficult life and no, they're not all catered for by every establishment and organisation. I understand being disabled is not an easy life, but please don't act like you have it worse than absolutely everyone else because of it.

It is being considerate. Its fine to quickly change a babies nappy. It is not okay to use the only toilet disabled people can sue for ages to breastfeed.
People would create merry hell if a mother shut off access to all the ordinary toilets to breastfeed.

Don't know if it's been pointed out yet either but a lot of parents wind the red alert cable around a handle or tie it up out of the way so their kids can't reach it, but it completely defeats the purpose of it being accessible from the floor in case of a fall or a slip or even reachable from being seated.

I find this happens in almost every disabled facility I use that has shared public usage like being a baby change or being the only toilet in a corridor and the normal access toilets being further away.

I would want non-disabled people using these facilities to be extra aware of this and to make sure they leave the bathroom accessible when they leave, don't leave toilet paper on the floor, unwind the cable if you see it tied up, mop up any spills etc.

@Rosscameasdoody yeah. That's true. I'm not sure if I've noticed before, but there's never been a conflict, so to speak. I'm disabled but only sometimes actually realistically 'need' the disabled loo. My mum always needs it. So yeah, the baby changing ideally should be separate.
I guess I do know the popular 'mummy' cafes in the area and me and mum would choose not to use them.
Though many small cafes etc would claim space isn't adequate for both.

@DefendingPan I work in disability advocacy, sorry haven’t read whole thread so someone may have said, but one example is that parents have on occasion tucked the emergency pull cord away if the child has been playing with it and forget to put it back which obviously means people with mobility related disabilities can be stuck if unable to reach or access the cord. Also many incidents of people (not just parents) judging people with non-visible disabilities using the loos which can be especially impactful if they have an urgent need e.g due to IBD.

To be honest the whole world needs to be more mindful to disability, accessibility and inclusivity, not just parents, and dual use facilities don’t exactly help!

It's cute that anyone should think that disabled people expect the world to cater to us.

I'm pretty sure most disabled people know better.

Exactly! 👏🏻

It's a real shame the mother felt as though she had to breasfeed in the toilets. Society need to be more accepting of breastfeeding so mothers don't feel they have to hide.
Also babies need changing, people would soon complain if a mother changed babies nappy at the table. It's a shared facility for disabled and mothers so yet again pitted against each other.