To be annoyed at being told to be considerate of disabled people

Just be considerate. It’s not hard.

Having read all the replies, are you still annoyed at being ‘told’ to show consideration for disabled people?

I think some people are just desperate to be offended as often as possible, and then complain about it as loudly as possible!

20 minutes is ridiculous but what do you propose the parent does with a toddler when she needs to change a baby alone? It's the establishments fault for not providing separate toilets. I do avoid changing/disabled toilets when all possible as public toilets are usually pretty disgusting anyway but sometimes you have to use them.

A small baby and a wee, sure.
But you can change a poonami baby on your lap whilst sitting on the loo? Good for you. Most can't.

Equally, guess hows changing a 3 year olds pooey pull up going on your lap?

I've changed many a nappy on my lap. I've used the boot of the car, pushchair, the floor, all sorts. But in the above situations, no I couldn't have done it on my legs.

Also, I was pretty good at lap changing for my second baby, but not my first, especially when they were tiny.

I understand why joint facilities exist in small businesses. But the fact is they shouldn’t. And from next year new legislation will stop it wherever possible. Oh, and I understand a different perspective all right. Been disabled all my life and have watched as ignorant and entitled people have tried to shoehorn themselves into benefits and concessions meant for the genuinely disabled. I’ve been a disabilty outreach worker for many years and have seen disabled people subjected to disgusting treatment, for no other reason than disability. That’s what colours the outlook of disabled people. It’s not a ‘chip on the shoulder’ or anything else able bodied people like to explain it away with. It’s watching the constant erosion of the rights that we’ve fought long and hard for by entitled people who want it for themselves, whether they’re entitled or not.

Fucking hell

I have a hidden disability (a stoma) and I am also a parent. I am aware that sometimes I annoy people by taking a long time in the bathroom particularly if I have to change a nappy and empty my bag at the same time. I do everything I can to be as quick as possible, but usually manage to piss off both other disabled people and other parents because I look fine. While I am on maternity leave I am avoiding unnecessary trips out when my stoma is being active, but thats about all I can do

You can buy travel changing mats too so surely that's an easier option for parents?

I've taken my own changing mat and spare clothes so I can change wherever needed and can change the baby if required. This is so selfish, you'd make a disabled person wait and potentially soil themselves than change your child's clothes after an accident (which as a seasoned parent I'd assume you'd have).

For a while the only baby changing rooms in the city centre was one in a shopping centre, in a disabled cubicle. It was locked with a radar key, with a sign saying to get the key, go to the office. That involved going the other side of the shopping centre, into the multistorey, up to the top floor and to the office in the far corner. And back again afterwards 😂

I changed baby in a corner instead.
If I'd come to town more I may well have bought a key for that specific loo to avoid a 10m traipse each way. That's different from just using it all radar loos because they are convenient.

As it happens, I now have a disabled child who I often use the disabled loos with (whether we need to use them depends on how she is, what w need the bathroom for, how big the regular cubicles are etc). I'm in the small minority that find combined ones useful because sometimes the table is useful, but she's too old to feel comfortable in the baby change.

Why do people take signs like that personally?

There have clearly been complaints that some parents have not been as considerate of other peoples needs as they could have been.

If you are not one of them then the sign isn't directed at you so stop making it about you.

Babies can easily be changed on your lap, theres nothing stopping an able bodied parent sitting on the loo and changing their child. There is also nothing stopping a parent choosing a sensible pushchair rather than a tank on wheels. If an able bodied parent can’t manage to change their own babies nappy without using the disabled toilet I’d be concerned about other basic tasks their brain can’t manage.

I’m not saying it is easy or straightforward.

@sloecat But it is impossible to do that. Take buses. We have buses that have a wheelchair space plus space for two buggies. Still there are parents who do not want to vacate the wheelchair space for the wheelchair user. I read parents locally saying that more seats should be removed to make more spaces. But during the day buses are mainly used by older people, some of whom can not manage stairs on a moving bus, they need the seats downstairs. How big do they expect buses to be!!

@IVFmumoftwo
a lot of providers don’t like toilets in stand alone baby changing rooms because - - they don’t want to encourage people using them just as toilets
or they don’t want the extra cleaning hassle
or they don’t want to pay for the plumbing ( I know! )
or they just don’t realise what a pain it is for people needing both
or they are men who’ve never experienced the dilemma

speaking as a women architect who can’t even get male bosses to realise a sanitary bin can’t fit in next to a wc if it’s centrally spaced. I’ve had years of this nonsense.

As a disabled lady, I am very pleased that sign is there, having seen so many people think oh I’ll use the disabled loo cos it’s nearest. I’ve seen a mum with a baby in a pram and a toddler all go into the loo, presumably for safety of the toddler whilst they change the baby. I was waiting for the loo as someone with a hidden disability. They took 20 minutes so presumably they’ve changed the baby and both the mother and toddler have used the loo. I was just grateful I didn’t have incontinence or bowel problems and was able to wait.

From what I’ve read here, many of us think that parents should have a dedicated changing space and also on trains and in any other public shared space. It is a struggle to juggle a baby/small child and all the paraphernalia they need. Things are easier for parents than they used to be. I’m old so I remember the days when you had to fold up the pushchair to get on the bus while struggling with the children and shopping. It’s wrong that the two groups are pitted against one another in shared spaces for their needs to be met. That’s what needs to change in my view.

But apparently entitled to expect that the entire world cater for you as a parent. The point you are missing here is that there is disability legislation that requires establishments to cater for disabled people. Many don’t. There are no consequences because the legislation isn’t enforced to any great degree. How would you feel as a disabled person knowing that legislation is there to provide for you but if people can’t be arsed enforcing it, then no biggie ?

Because they can't be arsed to put one in the women's and men's toilets for some reason so bung it in the accessible changing room

You do realise this is breathtakingly entitled?

You only get a sign like that once there has been an incident. Probably for reasons pp have suggested: nappy change taking too long, parents feeding the baby at the same time etc.

I’m an architect
I design them in all the time and overall calculations count accessible toilets in with all others
Like I said, no one’s breaking any laws using them.
The only law is that they are provided when required as part of the Equalities Act