I’m in a relationship with a lovely man, we have been together over 2 years now. I’ve had my fair share of struggles but generally we are happy and loving towards each other.
My mental health has struggled the last few months for various reasons. I struggle a lot with my self esteem and also overthinking. This has sometimes led to arguments as my boyfriend feels unheard and that I don’t believe what he has to say. He also gets frustrated when I assume things (eg “you don’t seem as happy as you used to be”) rather than just asking if everything is ok. He said I get it wrong every time.
Last night I got upset because I felt he’d been a little distant. We also had some pictures taken where we went out last night.
He didn’t look very happy in them, just kind of grimacing, and it made me think of old pictures where he looked so happy and in love. He also never takes pics of me anymore.
So I brought this up and told him I am worried about his feelings fading
He said he has been very exhausted from work, and stressed about Christmas.
I also questioned whether he is sexually attracted to me (this ends up happening every month during my period, when nothing happens”.
He became annoyed, saying that I never listen to him and always make assumptions. He also said I always have the same convo each month and “always have these stupid conversations before bed”.
I then felt extremely guilty and this made me worry even more that hes not happy. But, he said he is generally happy in the relationship and these things don’t happen very often.
Now in my head I don’t understand how he can say these things, but also be “really happy” in the relationship. He said he would talk to me if he wasn’t happy, but that there is no need to.
So how do I just accept this and get off his back when literally every tiny thing worries me?!