Page 7 | Shag, Marry, Avoid - Disrespectful in front of BF?

SausageDogForChristmas · 2024-12-13T11:55:03+00:00

Early in my relationship with boyfriend (one month/6 weeks in) Big night out with all my friends and a few mutual friends. A bit tipsy and my friends and I started playing shag, marry, avoid with celebrity names, some ridiculous suggestions, all light hearted fun. Looked over and BFs face was like thunder. He was furious and really angry. He went to storm off and mutual friends stopped him. He shouted at me that I was extremely disrespectful, I’m supposed to be his girlfriend. We all then went for a meal and the atmosphere was awful. He was barely speaking to me, a few of my friends tried talking to him and we went outside and I had to explain that it was just a bit of fun. Lighthearted and I didn’t mean to upset him. I wouldn’t care if he had done it. AIBU? Was I disrespectful? It was just lighthearted fun. He did similar where I admitted to fancying a certain celebrity/singer. Refused to speak to me for hours, we had a horrible row.

Original poster

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:46

LeaderBee · 13/12/2024 12:42

"i've been with my partner for 6 months"

Oh shit, that must be Dave and Amanda from West lothian!

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Okay 😆 It’s been just under a year

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Seadragonusgiganticusmaximus · 13/12/2024 12:46

More seriously, I don’t think he’s wrong to be upset, but his reaction is way over the top and very immature.

RegulatorsMountUp · 13/12/2024 12:46

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:38

He’s moved around a lot? Would I need to know an exact address? Would he know I’ve done that?

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Even bigger red flag!! I dont know what info they need sorry. Get him checked but either way get rid of him he is a psycho in the making. The longer you leave it the harder it'll be to get rid of him.

Original poster

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:46

Seadragonusgiganticusmaximus · 13/12/2024 12:44

Of course men don’t usually play shag, marry, avoid. Probably because it would be very boring as the answer would always be shag. 😁

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😆

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Original poster

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:45

BobbyBiscuits · 13/12/2024 12:41

Maybe it's a little immature and silly as a game, but his reaction was way OTT.
The fact he was upset, just about fair enough, but to spoil the whole atmosphere for everyone during the meal is unnecessary. If he was that shell shocked and gravely offended then he should have gone home.

Edited

I remember asking him - for example - pass the salt or how is your food and he very obviously gave me the silent treatment. His friends were trying to talk him around, come on now, talk to her, you are upsetting her etc, it was really embarrassing.

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Seadragonusgiganticusmaximus · 13/12/2024 12:44

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:32

Yeah I understand that. I’ve tried to reverse it, if it was me and him and his friends were discussing women like that would I be upset? Lots of our famous people were silly examples for instance- Mr Bean lol.

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Of course men don’t usually play shag, marry, avoid. Probably because it would be very boring as the answer would always be shag. 😁

ManHereSorry · 13/12/2024 12:44

He sounds like a dick. Red flag.

LeaderBee · 13/12/2024 12:42

MuddyPawsIndoors · 13/12/2024 12:38

How could that possibly be 'outing', given the level of detail you've parted with on this thread? 😳

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"i've been with my partner for 6 months"

Oh shit, that must be Dave and Amanda from West lothian!

BobbyBiscuits · 13/12/2024 12:41

Maybe it's a little immature and silly as a game, but his reaction was way OTT.
The fact he was upset, just about fair enough, but to spoil the whole atmosphere for everyone during the meal is unnecessary. If he was that shell shocked and gravely offended then he should have gone home.

lionloaf · 13/12/2024 12:41

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:38

He’s moved around a lot? Would I need to know an exact address? Would he know I’ve done that?

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Eek - is there a reasonable explanation for him moving around a lot?

Shoxfordian · 13/12/2024 12:41

Is he still your boyfriend? Dump him

MuddyPawsIndoors · 13/12/2024 12:38

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:37

A while now, can’t say exactly as I don’t want to be too outing.

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How could that possibly be 'outing', given the level of detail you've parted with on this thread? 😳

Original poster

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:38

RegulatorsMountUp · 13/12/2024 12:36

HUUGE RED FLAG

I'd he considering a clares law check on this guy, he sounds obsessive. Get rid of him quick.

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He’s moved around a lot? Would I need to know an exact address? Would he know I’ve done that?

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Original poster

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:37

MuddyPawsIndoors · 13/12/2024 12:36

How long have you been with him OP?

A while now, can’t say exactly as I don’t want to be too outing.

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Original poster

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:37

VoltaireMittyDream · 13/12/2024 12:32

I don’t think I’d like it if my DH played this with his mates in front of me. (The idea of a bunch of grumpy 50-something men debating whether they’d like to shag Zendaya or whatever is unspeakably grim for a variety of reasons)

But I also think your BF’s reaction was OTT, and I would be looking to get out of that relationship on account of the sulking.

It’s true and ick worthy if it was reversed, I see that, I think it was his reaction to the situation and his utter denial that he would even look at a beautiful famous woman now that he’s with me. I’m secure enough to not feel threatened if he said he fancied- I can’t think of an example!

It’s a healthy fantasy surely? It’s not real. Again lots of our examples were ridiculous, not even good looking men, comedy examples to make us choose and have a laugh.

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MuddyPawsIndoors · 13/12/2024 12:36

How long have you been with him OP?

RegulatorsMountUp · 13/12/2024 12:36

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:30

He also regularly says “I’m the only one you’ve ever loved aren’t I?” And honestly he’s not, I’m not 16! I have had relationships before but he wants to think I’ve only ever had feelings for him alone.

HUUGE RED FLAG

I'd he considering a clares law check on this guy, he sounds obsessive. Get rid of him quick.

lionloaf · 13/12/2024 12:36

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:28

Thanks, I was really embarrassed. I would have much preferred him to take me to one side and told me he wasn’t comfortable and would I mind not playing the game? Instead of storming off and giving me the silent treatment publicly in front of our/my friends. It was very embarrassing. I believe it’s healthy to fancy celebrities and have crushes on tv characters etc. it’s not real. BF said how he only fancies me now, he couldn’t even look at anyone else, no way does he fancy any celebrities/famous people. I think that’s unlikely!

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Did this happen recently?

If you’re considering getting rid based on this, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

I’m sure you’re well capable of embarrassing yourself in front of your friends without someone else doing it for you! I wouldn’t be able to overlook this. What happens if you’re at a friend’s wedding etc and he’s upset about something? Will he spoil the day? Make a scene? It’s not something I would want to have to worry about!

GreenEggs483 · 13/12/2024 12:35

Throw him back OP!

CreationNat1on · 13/12/2024 12:34

I think it was rude, and his response was also rude and extremely awkward. Dump him.

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 13/12/2024 12:34

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:30

He also regularly says “I’m the only one you’ve ever loved aren’t I?” And honestly he’s not, I’m not 16! I have had relationships before but he wants to think I’ve only ever had feelings for him alone.

Yuck.
He sounds massively insecure

MuddyPawsIndoors · 13/12/2024 12:33

SchoolDilemma17 · 13/12/2024 12:31

Tbh it’s a really childish game and unless you are teenagers I don’t get at all why you played this. The replies would be very different if roles were reversed: imagine your BF and his mates were discussing if they would shag Katy Perry or Ariana Grande. I wouldn’t be happy!!

Why not?

Are you really that insecure about yourself/your relationship that you couldn't handle a simple game that means nothing to anyone?

VoltaireMittyDream · 13/12/2024 12:32

I don’t think I’d like it if my DH played this with his mates in front of me. (The idea of a bunch of grumpy 50-something men debating whether they’d like to shag Zendaya or whatever is unspeakably grim for a variety of reasons)

But I also think your BF’s reaction was OTT, and I would be looking to get out of that relationship on account of the sulking.

Original poster

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:32

litepop · 13/12/2024 12:30

It is a completely over the top reaction and I don't think i could continually.

However, if I was on a night out with a bf of a month and his mates and they sat discussing which celeb women they wanted to shag or marry, and egging each other on.

I wouldn't have been impressed. It's not even that I'd have been jealous or controlling. It would have given me the major ick hearing them discussing women in that way - I'm presuming it was mainly based on looks/levels of sexual attraction.

I wouldn't have caused a scene the way he did but it would be a massive red flag. I'd have noted it internally and then decided if in the overall context of our 'relationship' if it was a deal breaker or not.

Yeah I understand that. I’ve tried to reverse it, if it was me and him and his friends were discussing women like that would I be upset? Lots of our famous people were silly examples for instance- Mr Bean lol.

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DanceTheDevilBackIntoHisHole · 13/12/2024 12:32

SausageDogForChristmas · 13/12/2024 12:30

He also regularly says “I’m the only one you’ve ever loved aren’t I?” And honestly he’s not, I’m not 16! I have had relationships before but he wants to think I’ve only ever had feelings for him alone.

See, add this on top of a massive over reaction to a silly pub game and I think he's got major red flags. This tips him into sounding possessive and jealous and that's not a road I'd follow him down.