Shag, Marry, Avoid - Disrespectful in front of BF?

Nope, chuck this one back. He's controlling, insecure and screams red flags.

It's a silly game to get worked up over. I'd have no issue playing it or my husband playing either. We already have an agreement in place that when Mariah Carey turns up at the front door I wont see him again and I'm fine with that 😉

Well I'd not like to be sitting in a room with my partner and his mates while they played that, so I do have some sympathy with him. I think his behaviour was a bit much though. I'd have quietly told my partner to stop and if he hadn't I'd have taken myself away, because while it might be a big laugh to those playing, it's not much of a spectator sport to listen to people talk like that about other men/women. I wouldnt have continued in your company in a big strop that ruined your evening though.

When I was massively insecure this would have upset me too and made me uncomfortable. I’ve bad therapy and am in a much better place and would also see it as a bit of fun. Try and sympathise as he may just have low self esteem! Took me a while to accept it’s ok to find other people attractive!

Why did you carry on dating him after this massive red flag only a month in? What else has he done since then?

I’d run a mile. You’ve seen what he’s like and how he behaves when he’s not happy with something. You’re 6 weeks in, your friends were there, this relationship will get much worse! Imagine what he’ll be like down the line.
With regard to the game- each to their own. It wouldn’t bother me and my DH we play this with friends, but regardless it’s his actions and how he sulked and made a scene and ruined your evening over it. Luckily he’s shown you now who he is… run!!

I don't understand why you would play that game except maybe on a hen do or sleep over with your bffs.

But his reaction is concerning. If you can't say you fancy Brad Pitt without him exploding I'd be concerned.

Fucking hell.

I'd play it WITH DH!

Insecure men and women are a pain more often than not, they end up turning into hyper-controlling behaviours. I've no time for jealousy to that extent.

Insecure baby.

Dump.

Well, this makes your BF sound completely unhinged.

Whether shag, marry, kill was (or wasn't) disrespectful honestly depends on one's personal standards. Some people would not mind. Other would. Neither is right (or wrong) imo.

What does matter is how one communicates those standards, how one react etc... And he definitely shouldn't have given you the silent treatment. Sounds like an ex-boyfriend to me.

Its a tacky conversation in my opinion but plenty of people don’t mind this kind of thing.

BUT your bf was being unreasonable not to keep his composure and then address it calmly with your later.

He does sound jealous and insecure, however I can understand why he was uncomfortable. I don't think many women would enjoy their partners playing this in front of them.

How's your cardiovascular fitness OP? RUN!

I don't really think the game itself and what MNetters think of it is important.

What is important is the emotional abuse/silent punishments he dishes out to the OP, when she does something he dislikes.

If he's like this now when they've only been together a year, and as the OP is considering doing a Claire's Law request, this relationship is (or at least it bloody should be) absolutely OVER.

It's never going to get any better unless he always gets his own way, and that'll only happen if he gets to control everything the OP says, does and thinks.

Awful game awful reaction. Two wrongs don't make a right, and from what you describe, not someone for you to be in a relationship with.

I loathe it when men I'm dating comment on the attractiveness of other women, IRL or on screen. If he and a bunch of his mates built the evening's conversation around a S/M/A game I'd find it a massive turnoff.

That said, sense of humour failure/hissy fit behaviour of the sort he displayed is also a massive ick.

Sounds gruesome all round, TBH.

@SausageDogForChristmas just imagine what he'd be like when something that actually matters doesn't go the way he wants? You deserve much better.

He’s obviously got shit conflict resolution tactics, or none at all. Bin him, this one’s not the one.

It's not a game to play with your boyfriend/ partner present and is quite childish. Why has this come up now though? You don't say why you're rehashing the issue presumably some time later. You both sound rather immature

He sounds a bit of a nightmare. I couldn’t be with some like this. Me and dh always joke about other men/women. Just last night dh asked me to pass his phone and said ‘just don’t read the messages from my girlfriend’.

He is being pathetic, insecure and controlling.
Fuck him right off.

Insecure men are hot.....said no one ever.

Get rid.

Mumsnet

woman plays game, man objects, man is an arse
man plays game, woman objects, man is an arse

honestly, I think the game is childish, and his reaction is childish, 2 red flags. Game over

I find that bizarre. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if my husband said he’d shag Kylie, marry Kelly Brooke and avoid Tess Daly.

It’s a game, a joke. I can’t believe any one would be so small minded and self absorbed to worry about this.

You know Katy Perry isn’t a threat to you don’t you? She wouldn’t want to shag your husband so I don’t think there’s anything for you to be unhappy about.

Yes it’s disrespectful, rude and shows poor judgement on your part. Imagine if the situation was reversed.