To feel under pressure to get Botox or similar things

I’m 37 and the women I know who started with fillers and Botox when we were 30, look horrendous now.
Drink plenty of water, use face creams and serums (always policed in upwards motions) and buy an LED mask.

OP. Have a look at a picture of Janice from the Muppet Show. If that doesn't put you off nothing will!

Mid forties too and think it must be as have heard a few younger women talk about it but never even crossed my mind, aesthetic procedures beyond facials and hair dye were always parodied when I was younger and a more natural look was definitely seen as better. I have noticed that people are not surprised at my age anymore whereas until about 10 years ago, everyone seemed to think I was much younger than I was, just put that down to having more children since then 🤣
The fb posts that are shocked at how people over 30 in films ‘looked so old’ 30 years ago do annoy me though, along with a lot people now thinking that women can actually have babies at 49 (without IVF and frozen/donor eggs) these technologies have all resulted in a very skewed view of ageing

I understand how you feel OP. I've aged a lot in my late thirties and it seems like my friends who look great either have multiple tweaks or are genetically blessed and were already beautiful. My youthful glow feels long gone.
While I'm undecided long-term about cosmetic procedures and get insecure at times., I'm focusing on the things I like about my appearance and personality. And thing I enjoy, for example I love styling my clothes and hair. I love skincare and enjoy facials and yoga. That's fine for now.

I've also given up trying to compare myself to celebrities. It is often a part of their job to look glamorous /young etc. My profession has no such worries.

You need to work on being less suggestible OP and decide what YOU think and what YOU like. Because you're spending time with women who favour one look and deciding you should have that, then because it's not affordable, coming on here to recieve the (entirely predictable) counter views from people you KNOW will tell you is looks horrible, and so now you agree with a new cohort and don't want it. Then you'll be back with the women in RL, and.. guess what you'll think again then? You need to know yourself and your own tastes and priorities. Emma loving botox and fillers and Maureen thinking it looks like an alien or a duck are both irrelevant to you. Decide what YOU think and respect your own opinion. Because having confidence and courage of conviction either way is far more important than what you choose to do with your appearance.

Don't even bother with them - I see people who have had things done and to be honest they look awful. Showed DH some pictures of a friend from FB - she was gorgeous a few years ago and now looks (in his words) hideous! Turkey teeth, laminated eyebrows, ridiculous eyelashes and Donald Duck lip fillers.
Stay natural OP

Nope, don't feel any pressure whatsoever. Probably stems from hight self esteem, confidence and not giving a single fuck what people think of me.

I do enjoy and care greatly about clothes (not what's 'in fashion', but what I like), shoes, jewellery, bags, they're a form of self-expression for me.

But as for the rest, absolutely not. I never wear makeup (used to, but don't want to anymore), don't colour my hair or nails, I'm ghostly pale and I love it, never applied fake tan/used sunbeds and hate beaches. No botox, fake lashes, eyebrows, lips, etc. It's not that I'm 'above it', I just really don't see the point, I'm perfectly ok with the way I am. I'm 36 and I do have forehead wrinkles, if it's relevant.

Would I look better with makeup, blowdry, 'made up' and polished? Of course I would. But I prefer my don't give a fuck-ness.

One exception is grey hair. Mine are not greying yet, but as soon as it starts, I'll definitely dye it, as I absolutely hate grey hair.

Double points for it greatly pissing my mother off. Her main preocupation in her life is with her appearance. She has had all sorts done and is ultra glam. Going out without makeup (to the shops, for example) is disgusting and 'letting yourself go'. Ditto wearing anything else than uber feminine, expensive clothing. She has all the brows, lashes, nails, facelift, etc - the lot done. We have completely different tastes in everything and she hates the way I look - this makes me smile 😁

Now the fact that I'm very tall, willowy, slim hourglass, used to be a model and look good in anything, and she's short and fat and has to work 10 times more to look good in clothing makes her rage - that's even better 😁

Of course people notice, I tell everyone, I'm not ashamed or embarrassed at all!

I'm not sneering about people who have Botox. What people do to their faces is totally up to them.

But you're kidding yourself thinking that people don't notice. People DO notice but don't say anything. This is why those who have Botox think that no one can tell...

I have a very good friend who has clearly had Botox around her eyes. She looks terrible. She hasn't mentioned it... neither have I. I'm sure she thinks no one can tell.

Please don't get fillers, botox etc. I think they look awful. There's a longer term risk as well - you have to keep up with treatments or you end up looking really blooming horrific as they cause more issues!

As you can see that the other mums have had work done, it's all a bit redundant really isn't it?

They all look totally fake and you look totally normal. I know which one I'd rather be.

You’re 30 and you feel old and ugly?

I’m not really sure what to say. I think this is a matter of you working on your own self-esteem OP. I can say with absolute confidence that you are not old and ugly! Xx

I actually think a lot of the influencers who have had this sort of thing done in their thirties look older so not sure it’s actually working.

DD likes watching Love Island, so I was subjected to a few episodes this year. One of the women is the same age as DD (24) and looked about 12 years older due to all the work she had done to her face.

But I'm mid forties and get Botox, as do the two women I work with in their 40s. We're literally the target demographic.

I think this is a generational thing as I’m mid forties and wouldn’t consider it. I actually think a lot of the influencers who have had this sort of thing done in their thirties look older so not sure it’s actually working.

Personally I focus on taking care of myself by eating well, exercising, getting a good nights sleep and avoiding sunscreen, I follow a lady on IG who focuses on skincare in your forties + and she mainly talks about hydration and how they can help you look better for longer. Her name is The Beauty Recluse and as someone who has no interest in beauty and skincare she has helped me get into a good routine and recommends a wide range of different prices and budgets.

I have two very wealthy friends. One is a medic and has looked into all this stuff extensively and the other has tried a few things. They have both come to the conclusion that the only intervention that really works long term is a face lift late 40s/ early 50s depending on the person and possibly repeated when older. All the other things not great or sustainable.

Me? I’m a big cynic about this stuff and don’t trust the manufacturers. I save my more modest income for health things as I get older - private gynaecology, teeth etc plus good vitamins and skincare.

I have a friend who's 51. She's always been a naturally beautiful woman and remains a beautiful woman. However, for the last year she's been having fillers on her lips, and well, you can imagine how her lips look now. It's very obvious what she's had done. Let's just say it's not subtle.
I completely understand that it's her choice and as long as she's happy that's really all that matters. However, I do feel it's a shame. She's was someone who was naturally beautiful. Yes, she looked 51 but there's nothing wrong with that. She looked wonderful! But now with these lips I think she looks silly. None of my business and I would never say anything because she's happy with the results. But still.

Don't do it. It makes them look older and half of the time it looks ridiculous.

I get you.

I absolutely hate the Love Island look that seems to be everywhere now and feel for my daughters I have an obligation to call it out as crap and encourage them to be happy in themselves. But....

I also work with lots of women 5-10 yrs younger than me (I am 41) who have super subtle Botox (they are honest about it which is how I know) and they honestly look great and I would be lying if I didn't often see myself on Teams and just think I look like a haggard old bag alongside them.

It's not as easy as "oh just don't follow social media and get nicer friends) - these are my work colleagues that I can't decide to stop seeing! And not everyone ends up looking like Katie Price (which is not a look I would want at all!!) so it can just drip drip into your life and it's hard to manage!

And some of us enjoy getting it without having ever felt 'pressured' to.

I get it and my mum eye rolls every time. I was also getting it for months before I mentioned it and she never noticed...but apparently it's still a dreadful disfiguring thing to do to your face.

People are as much sheep-like in their sneering as they are in choosing to have Botox.

I haven't used either of those terms

Edit because I said "have" when I meant haven't!

I'm not looking for a medal. I assume you're not looking for one either.

OP asked if anyone feels able to resist the pressure of botox etc. Lots of us are happy to do so.

Name calling (sheep, troutmouthed) isn't cool @DappledThings . I'd worry less about your DD being cool enough not to get Botox and more about her/your language around women.

Great. But what difference does it make to anything? You don't get a medal or anything on your deathbed for aging naturally.

Just let people be in charge of their own faces 🤷‍♀️