Husband got my birthday wrong

100%
Anyone can make a mistake and get a date wrong. I'm betting most people on this thread have done something like that.

NOT everyone is an abusive parent and/or partner though.
He's an abuser.
He'll ruin your children.
Get out.

Well anyone can make a restaurant mistake. Generally men don't slap their wives. You are focusing on the wrong thing. Also it doesn't matter what you have been through together. He's abusive. It's not like an add and take away, oh he slapped me, minus ten, but he was great when the children were sick, plus twenty, grand score ten.

The restaurant thing on its own would make me roll my eyes, but on top of all the previous behaviour, it simply confirms that he doesn't care for you or respect you. The final straw.

Not very supportive comments like this. It’s very hard to separate when your lives are so deeply tangled. People on the outside just saying to leave him like it’s as simple as packing a bag - with 3 kids- it’s going to be messy and tricky.

I’m sorry you have no friends to support you in this.

A good soul does not get drunk and slap his wife, or shout at his kids for nothing

I'd focus on whether this is the kind of.environmen that you want to raise your kids in. Do you want them marry similar good souls who think Drunken violence is ok? Do you want them to grow up into similar good souls who slap their spouse around? As this will be their 'normal'

WHAT? Regardless of anything else, he hit you this is the point you should have left. How would you feel if a man/women treated your child like that when they were in a relationship. Don't walk run!

You lost me at him slapping you. He’s not a good man, he’s a violent abuser. Leave him.

Absolutely this. He isnt a "good soul" - a good soul wouldnt slap the mother of their children (or any woman), a good soul wouldnt get drunk and aggressive and scary and terrorise his children.

He's an utter piece of shit.

He hits you?

That's a much bigger issue. You need to leave.

You titled the post Husband Got Birthday Wrong, and go on to say he slapped you and he gets angry at the kids for just being kids.

You are focusing on the wrong thing here big time.

As everyone else has said, I couldn't get worked up about the birthday thing but slapping you is a deal breaker.

A good person doesn't abuse the person they love. Whether that is physical or emotional.

A good parent doesn't lose their temper all the time at kids being kids.

Baking a cake for someone is pretty much the bare minimum.

He has anger issues and I think you have been together so long you have gaslit yourself about them and are minimising them.

the side that finds blame at my feet when he admits to getting too drunk and slapping me

Sorry but how can you just throw this into the middle of a post and surround it with non important stuff like forgetting birthdays and being silly together.

You are focusing on completely the wrong thing. He got a restaurant reservation wrong is literally nothing compared to the fact you have just admitted he hits you.

Get out.

OP you need to leave him. He’s violent.

the side that finds blame at my feet when he admits to getting too drunk and slapping me, the side that regularly loses his temper with the children for just being children
You continue to live with this behaviour?
You allow him to do this to your children?

He slaps you - he’s an abuser.

The only relevant parts of your post are that he hits you, has a bad temper, and is disloyal and controlling. It's disturbing that these parts are just dropped in and marginalised.

He is not a "good soul". You just put up with his abuse so that life is bearable sometimes. This is really not good.

Getting a restaurant reservation wrong ... meh.

And yes, losing his temper with the DC and siding with his parents when you want to let them roll down the grass - also not good. The restaurant is the least of the issues here.

This- spot on. Booking the restaurant on the wrong night is something I’d laugh about with an otherwise good DH. Slapping me leads to divorce.

What everyone else said. Turning up to restaurant on wrong date as made a mistake when booking (as I think is what happened) is annoying and a bit embarrassing and entirely irrelevant in the context of him having slapped you.

There's no good soul to see there.

This. You’re a victim of DV, OP, and it sounds as if the children are also subjected to his anger. Think about that rather than a date confusion.

A misbooking at a restaurant has made you completely humiliated? But the slapping doesn't? You're focusing on the wrong thing here.

How long ago was it that he slapped you? Was it just the once years ago or several times & it still happens??

How old are you both now?

I'm confused over the birthday thing.

Do you not have friends because he stops you making friends/going out etc or because you've been together so long you haven't really had/maintained other friendships?

hiw old are the 3 monkeys?

im sorry about your loss & the children having been in danger of dying xx

I haven’t voted because your options don’t make much sense. But I hope you listen to the PPs. He gets drunk, hits you and loses his temper with your kids. You and your children are in danger if you don’t get away from him.

He abuses you and you slip it in there like it's nothing.
He slaps you..!!