No attraction to husband - what to do

If he said this bout you,how would you feel?
If he was fantasize bout others?
Query if "every box tickt" was ALL to be had in life.
?

No matter what I wouldn't do anything rash . A close friend of mine was in a very similar situation and had an affair and basically lost everything and deeply regrets it. And really misses the life she had with her husband and the future they planned. Her kids are teens so they also found out and treat her so differently now.

You're both in new roles now and getting to know eachother on a different scale.
I'm sure the romance will come back. You sound like a good team.

You might find ‘Mating in captivity’ by Esther Perel helpful.

Are you on birth control?

Having blood tests done because you aren't attracted to a partner of over ten years does speak to somewhat unrealistic expectations. If anything you'd need the blood tests done if you were still attracted to him, you'd be a medical miracle.

Sorry OP but this is normal isn't it? You will get replies on here saying they've been married for 50 years and still get butterflies, but I've never seen that in real life. The lust/passionate love feeling wears off after 2-3 years.

Personally I think date nights make it worse, as sitting there bored or in silence makes it even more obvious.

I think the way to forget this problem is get on with other things and life and enjoy the fantasies - why not. Just my opinion.

It's not an uncommon thing to happen, I'd say it's probably more often than not. Long term relationships go through stages and it's normal to have different levels of attraction.

I'd be concerned if you said you were repulsed by him and not just ambivalent. All the great things you saw in him at the start of your relationship are still there, and he sounds like he's a good husband.

Life, kids and other commitments slowly take over your life and before you know it, the passion has dwindled to nothing. In the beginning of a relationship everything is shiny and new. You are exploring each other and everything is novel. Fast forward a few years and you know each other really well and can anticipate what's going to happen. You've fallen into taking each other for granted and not doing the little loving gestures, that you did to reassure them. You rarely get the one on one time where romance is the focus.
It's not gone forever, you just need to work at it.
Firstly communication is key. Make sure you are speaking respectfully and kindly. Be open and honest in a considerate way. Say that you would like to get back to having times when you can be romantic and sensual with each other because you miss it. Rather than saying that you don't feel attracted to him, as that will only alienate him. Talk about the different ways you like to be touched and explore them together. Is there something you haven't done but your fantasies are about?

Reinstate date nights pronto, and really make time to celebrate each other. Find the time to really connect and communicate about each other and not the kids, household or work.

Try new things together that you haven't done, so you get back the air of novelty. Try a new hobby together or new adventures.

Increase the amount of physical expression between you. More hugs, touch, massages, kissing etc, even if you aren't going to have sex at that time. It brings you closer and can take the pressure off always leading to sex. It's going to reset the way you see him as a sexual being and can help build the intimacy, anticipation and excitement.

Set goals or dreams together and try to work towards them.

Consider therapy or counselling to investigate if there's underlying issues causing a disconnect and learn ways to reconnect. There's legitimate sex therapists who can help you to jump start your love life.

With commitment from both of you and putting in the effort, you will be able to navigate the natural changes in your relationship.

You just need to spend time together - “date” again. It’s not just going to take one afternoon of spending time together to get a bit of spark back. It takes time.
how old are your children?

Maybe you’ve read too much Mills & Boon and watched too many drippy films?

Did you feel like this right from the start?