To feel utterly deflated that it’s ‘only 12k a year’ and to ask when is enough?

£1K a month is fantastic, it's definitely more than I was achieving when my children were little.

I am not exactly on the breadline but I do think £ 1,000 /month is an amazing amount to save, particularly as you are a single mum. You should absolutely feel proud and consider this an achievement. Don't think about it as £12K/year. Think long-term.

It shows how NOT pointless it is. You can now pay for a new boiler without borrowing. Really excellent 👌

Tell him to f*k off.

I save about 150 a month. Two parent household. You're doing fucking great! Ignore your brother.

Comparing my situation to yours, not to "guilt" you but merely and only to try and change your perspective so you can feel positive and proud again. You can't compare yourself with others generally as you rarely have similar incomings and outgoings so best just to focus on yourself. Like you I'm a single parent so it's all on me, my ex has now stopped paying maintenance so it really is ALL on me, he also hasn't seen them in 8 months (see my username....!)

I currently have £3.42 in my account and £16.19 in cash. I've had to use a food bank in the past fortnight and I've had support from charities that means my children will have a fabulous Christmas along with what I've managed to put away over the past 12 months. I don't have a hope in hell of saving a 10th of what you have in the next calendar year. The following one though that 10% should be manageable.

If my boiler broke, I don't have savings to be wiped out, I'm fucked (well I'm not because I'm in social housing but hopefully you get my point and also highlights my earlier point about not comparing!) Any amount of savings is a safety net and you've already got £12k which is incredible, and you've done that yourself by your own hard work. This figure should also hopefully continue to grow, whether by the same amount, more or less each year.

Be proud of yourself @Haddenouggh , I'm certainly proud of you!

I voted YABU just because you must know £1k a month to be put into savings is massive.

The fact that you also got maintenance as a single parent & have a brother who can dismiss £12k a year as nothing puts you above 99% of the population

Sorry about your abusive relationship but your financial situation is out the realms of most people

Brilliant OP, that’s great, don’t let him tell you otherwise!

I’m calling jealousy too.

Honestly you sound like you are doing fantastically and I’m fussy / a high saver.

£12k pa will compound quickly.

@Haddenouggh
use pension contributions to manage your tax exposure and please ensure you are investing all money in your name even if you ultimately intend to use it for your DD.
with compounding you’ll find it grows quickly.
id get it in a vanguard or AJBell in an S&S isa.

the easy /good choice for a novice is something like vanguard life strategy 80 or 60
and a bit of your savings in something like S&P500

Hi OP look at it this way: in 8 years you’ll have nearly £100,000 and that’s definitely worth having.

He’s a gobshite.

You do need to save for your pension too, and as tax rules stand today, there are tax advantages in doing so. Stocks and shares ISA might be a good plan, but you have to be comfortable with knowing that some months/years the market dips on sentiment, so a cheap tracker and a low-fee big fund is probably more resilient (and much easier to manage) than chasing the highest short term results. S&P500 or a global health fund have been okay and fairly stable. You want both dividends and potential for capital to grow for the next 20 years.

Your brother is being ridiculous. Most couples with a young child and a mortgage don’t save that much. You are in the most expensive period of your life.
If he thinks it’s so little he must be earning a fortune; I’m assuming he would help you out if you needed a new boiler.

Paying off your debt alone is absolutely amazing let alone saving £12k. Please at least treat yourself to something, doesn’t have to be big, to congratulate yourself

does your brother have a mortgage, savings at that amount? I doubt it. If he comes asking for a loan tell him no!

well done you!!

Although I wouldn't spend a lot of that £1000 per month. I would make sure that I had nice things as well. Otherwise it's just work work work and saving.

I save £300 a month! And i thought I was doing well (I am doing well). But you are doing brilliantly!

(I only put £75 a month into a stocks and shares ISA......the rest goes into a cushioning fund. Thinking I might have to change those ratios!)

OP, you are doing well, objectively so!

The mean average amount of money held in a UK savings account is £17,365.
Up to a third (34%) of adults had either no savings (or less than £1,000) in a savings account.
Around six in 10 (61%) UK adults save money either every or most months.

So he doesn't have a mortgage, most people do.

Just keep saving and btw a boiler isn't 12k. He's an idiot.

The overwhelming majority of people are unable to save £1k a month. It is most likely that your brother made a snarky remark due to jealousy.

I think it's actually a lot of money to save each year. The fact you are doing this after paying so much debt off and on your own is bloody amazing. I have so much respect for you. Keep going and don't let other people's blind spots getting your way.

He's an idiot. I would remind him that you are paying roughly twice the amount he pays in utility bills. If the conversation occurs again I would ask him what the hell he thought you should do. However I would try not to go there. I wouldn't want to talk about it with him at all. He sounds like a show off and a aknow it all and he isn't very kind.

Yes but if you didn’t have savings then a broken boiler would be a much bigger problem!

You’re doing a phenomenal job and you should be proud.

Unless he has form for intentionally trying to get you down, I’d just be honest in your response with the assumption that he had stuck his boot in his mouth unintentionally.

“Hey, when I told you about my progress getting out of debt and saving I was looking for my brother to celebrate it with me a bit since I’ve worked my arse off to get DC and myself to a much better place than last year and I’m proud of the work I’ve put in so far. Telling me that I’m not flush really wasn’t helpful and just made me wish I hadn’t shared.” No accusations of his motives, just a direct explanation of what you were looking for from him in that moment and that his response was not it. See what he says.

I had to do this a fair amount with my father and DB for a while (both for things I’m happy about and when I’m just venting) and they’ve gradually gotten better at not jumping to fix-it or advisory mode. Sometimes they still get it wrong and I’ll interrupt with “ah, I’m looking for a cheering section on this/a bit of commiseration” and they redirect course pretty quickly now.

Obviously if you believe your brother did not mean well then it’s a different scenario.

He’s wrong. We had our entire CH system replaced, including radiators, for £8k. His plumber obviously saw him coming.