To feel utterly deflated that it’s ‘only 12k a year’ and to ask when is enough?

Saving 1k a month is massive. Ignore your brother.

OP, you keep saving. Financial independence is a sweet feeling. Think about seeing a financial advisor who can give you a life plan for retirement, paying off the house, etc. If you get started early, you will set you and your child up for life. You may be able to retire early.

Says she who retired in her 50s and was debt free with a paid off house in her late 40s.

And, your brother is either misinformed or maybe jealous. Keep your financial info to yourself.

OP if you were a member of my family I would tell you how proud I was of your courage and resilience in leaving an abusive man and completely turning your life around. Paying off debt and going on to save several thousands is amazing. Be proud of yourself.

I have a sibling who loves me but is very blunt and often doesn’t think before speaking. So, I would take your DB comments and view them through the lens of them being overly an overly cautious person.

I would recommend signing up to Money Saving Expert newsletter and reading the savings and investments section. You have a 20k allowance each financial year (5 April - 4 April following year) where you can enjoy tax free returns on your savings.

Personally, I have short term easy access savings for emergency things. I use a cash ISA for medium term term savings, such as saving to replace an old boiler. Then I have a stocks and shares ISA for long term, in my case 20 years, investing. £150 a month put away over 20 years in a good S&S ISA can deliver significant returns thanks to compound interest.

Having said that, living in the present is important. I would free up £350 per month for fun money, after being so strict with yourself this will feel a lot!
Then I would save £500 and invest £150 for your future.

Your brother is being a silly fucker. What a dense remark. Ignore him, objectively speaking £500-1000 saved per month is good going. Make sure you're stashing it away in as good a savings account as you can find. Martin Lewis' site regularly shares the best rates x

1k a month on single income is amazing!! Especially with a young child where you’re likely off work more.

Could your brother be struggling and jealous? Or so comfortable he can’t relate?

And for a new boiler one gets boiler insurance.

He’s not been very nice and should see the error in his ways.

What does he expect you to do? Not bother saving end up worse off? Strange thing for him to say. Most people don’t manage to save anything per month.

Hi I just wanted to say I hear you, you have made a phenomenal effort. I'm in a weird situation when saving is not really an option but I am heartened that that you were able to recover like this. Your brother was insensitive at best and down right heartless at worst.

I'm applauding your efforts and just wanted to encourage you as you go forward. Maybe refrain from talking financials with him in future. You don't need his approval. I think you know that inside, but sometimes we all need to lean on someone. In doing so we learn over time who's reliable in that role. You don't need for anyone to knock your confidence now.

I've loved reading your story and a little bit of your healing journey. There will be many more good chapters along the road. I'm glad you've moved forward so well. Give your self a pat on the back because that's the one that counts. Take it at your pace and try to enjoy life. I wish you and your DD well going forward. You go mighty girl.😍

You're doing great, your brother is either being a dick head or has ridiculously high standards.

I make 16k a year (TA), don't own and save £50 a month. I can only dream of being where you are, you're doing amazing!

I think you are doing amazing! Having children is hard, being a single parent is hard. And you’ve escaped an abuser and turned your finances around. Well done for having commitment to save. A general rule of thumb is to try to have 3-6 months essential spending (ie what you’d need to live off if you had no income) in savings. Beyond that I think it’s great to build a nest egg, but I think doing as you say reducing so you can do nice things now is a good idea. 💐

You have exactly 12k a year more than me.

Well done!!

I mean it's better to be wiped out by buying a new boiler and having to start saving again, because the alternative is having nothing and paying for it on finance, possibly accruing interest.

I think your brother is either extremely wealthy, or doesn't have a clue about the finances of the average person.

Of course it's a good start! Congratulations!

Thats a fantastic level of savings, your brother is being a dick. You've built up a really good buffer, you'll be able to replace your boiler and central heating system if you need/want to. £12k is a brilliant nest egg. Is your brother envious that you have these savings, or a bit put out that he can't condescend to you anymore for being in debt?

I think it's a good idea to review your finances - to overpay your mortgage, cut your hours at work to say 9 days over 10, increase pension payments or use more money for discreationary spending - holidays, clothes, hobbies for you and your DC.

Please don’t invest unless in an S&S isa unless you can tie that up for 15/20 years! A cash isa is much safer …. Also I wouldn’t consider an investment isa unless you have considerable cash savings I’d 20k min.

You are doing awesome btw that is a fantastic figure to save!

Wow! So impressed. You have done so brilliantly, pat yourself on the back. Do not talk finances to your *&^%$ of a brother. If your boiler/roof/fence/washer etc does go then it can go on your mortgage. Most everyone considers it normal to have a mortgage to retirement these days.

What are you saving and sacrificing for, exactly?

Life is short. Don't sacrifice too much. Please enjoy yourself from time to time.

@Haddenouggh You’ve done an amazing job pulling yourself out of such a difficult situation. Saving £1k a month while managing a mortgage and being a single parent is no small feat. It’s a reflection of how hard you’ve worked. Your brother’s comment may have been well-meaning but misplaced, as it doesn’t account for the enormous progress you’ve made in just two years. Financial security isn’t just about a specific number; it’s about having the discipline to save consistently, which you’re clearly demonstrating.

That said, you’re right to consider slowing down savings slightly to enjoy life with your child. It’s ok to splurge every now and then. Balance is key, and you’ve already proven you’re capable of managing finances responsibly. Going forward, maybe think about how to grow your savings strategically (like investments or pensions etc.) so your hard work continues to pay off. Also, keeping financial details private might avoid unnecessary comments like this in the future. You’re doing brilliantly. Don’t let anyone make you doubt that or put you down.

We've lived hand to mouth for ages, so saving £1k per MONTH... 🤯.

I was smug last month, because I didn't have to borrow money eom as still had some overdraft left 😅 Go out and buy yourself something nice, then carry on the good work!!

A new boiler is about £2k, no way would it wipe your savings out. Don't be discouraged - you are doing really well.

That's an extraordinarily high amount of money to be able to save every month. Most people can only dream of earning that kind of money. He's being odd.

£1000 is amazing, but you could potentially be saving quite a bit more by being tax efficient and putting it in a pension where the government will give you 20% more and you will be saving on tax. Look into that also - I am currently saving into there (after building an emergency fund) and it’s satisfying knowing I’ll be able to pay off my mortgage at 57. Also means your money benefits from compound interest.

He's being a bit of a dick TBH. I like to think of savings in the reality of how money could be spent in a pinch.
£1000, that's... your housing costs or near enough for a month/ all your essential bills and a tight months shopping.
£5k. A few months comfortable living expenses.
£12k, well that's a new car/ 2 really nice holidays for you and DD or you'd get 3 months of breathing space if your income dried up completely.

I think youre doing really well. Congratulations on turning your finances around.

1k a month is great! And it's going to grow. And the point of having it is that when the boiler does go you can pay for it without going 'oh fuck!'. It'll hurt to spend it but it's what the money is for. Also a boiler won't wipe out 12k. It'll dent it a bit and then you'll replenish it.

He's a prick, just wants to feel superior to you. Ignore him and never share financial stuff with your family.