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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to love the idea of spending Xmas alone? (One for fellow introverts) ...

86 replies

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 20:52

I'm mid-40s and I have never spent Xmas alone. I've always split it between divorced parents to keep them happy (with all the drama that involves) or done what past partners wanted. I recently bought my first place and got my first dog, and I just want it to be us, snuggled up and chilling out, eating good food, watching what I want on TV in my own home. No plans. No people over. No travel. I'm not Bah Humbug! I like Xmas, I’ve bought presents, I plan to see people on other days in the holidays etc. I just really love my own space and company. To me I think I am living the dream but every person I have told has looked at me in pity and I could tell they thought I was putting on a brave face. (For background I have had three other options but declined as this is genuinely what I want to do. I'm happily single, childless, not Christian so the day itself doesn't hold a special significance and I live close to my family so see them all the time – and me spending alone hasn’t left any of them who wouldn’t want to be alone without company on the day). I came on Mumsnet hoping to find some fellow introverts doing this but it's only threads of people spending it alone and not being happy about it. Please tell me I am not alone in liking being alone. I feel like an alien.

OP posts:
Deargodletitgo · 24/12/2024 15:15

Spending tonight and tomorrow alone, I could spend it with my partner and his family but choosing to have this day to myself and will embrace it. Have kids or DP around all the rest of the festive season so nice to have a break!

Discombobble · 24/12/2024 15:04

dentress2000 · 12/12/2024 21:28

I think it's easier to enjoy a Christmas Day alone knowing you have family and friends around you the rest of the year/ options elsewhere. Then it's through choice. Speak to people who have no choice but to spend it alone and it will be a bit different.

Which is why OP said this thread is for introverts

Tittat50 · 24/12/2024 15:02

I'm totally alone and I feel no one believes me when I say this is what I want and like. 🤷‍♀️🎄

RoxyAlex77 · 24/12/2024 15:01

Thank you for posting this. Congrats on getting your own place and making it your safe place🤗. I can relate to that feeling. Although I chose to be on my own at Xmas rather than with my verbally & emotionally abusive father I feel rather lonely. Thank you for posting all the reasons why spending it alone in my lovely home is such a great idea.🎁🎄🎅 . Look up Mel Robbins on Insta her posts I find really useful. You deserve a nice Xmas and you deserve to define what that means exactly. If it spells spend it alone than so be it💪💪

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 13/12/2024 10:04

I have this down to a fine art, OP, and my lies answers trip off my tongue.
The key is to be well-prepared in anticipation of the questioning.
At work, I told everyone I was going skiing. I'm not.
I tell various friends here and abroad who don't know each other that I'll be with X, Y or Z.
As I no longer live in my country of birth, this is easier to do.
Gets folk off my back.

delphinedupont · 13/12/2024 09:58

Not weird at all, I LOVE Christmas, seeing the children open their presents, family round, love it all. However, I do often think how wonderful it would be to rent a little cottage by the sea, wake up Christmas morning and open some carefully chosen gifts from me to me, have a delicious Christmas breakfast, walk along the sea front, back for m&s buffet for one, then curl up in front of a fire to read and eat crisps with with a glass of wine.

Cynic17 · 13/12/2024 09:52

It sounds wonderful. Me and my husband always have a very low key Xmas alone, and if he wasn't here then I would love to spend it totally solo - either at home or on holiday. And if idiotic people "felt sorry for me", I would be happy to put them straight!

HanG77 · 13/12/2024 09:46

MerlinsButler · 12/12/2024 22:37

No chicks were harmed

😂

OP posts:
Fairyliz · 12/12/2024 23:01

theduchessofspork · 12/12/2024 21:09

Do it, sounds great.

I did it once, went to the Bahamas, on my own (it had been a rough year)

Wow now that is my kind of Christmas Day! Well jealous.

Mistletones · 12/12/2024 23:01

Jagoda · 12/12/2024 20:59

I did it a few years ago. I confided in a like minded friend and we each told our respective families and friends that we were spending Christmas with each other, so nobody had to worry about us.

Then we each had a bloody fantastic day with our dogs.

I did this too, I had the best day. Ate lots of delicious things, stayed cosy with the dog, watched my favourite movies and no one was offended or worried by me choosing to stay alone.

Octopies · 12/12/2024 22:59

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:26

My evil side is thinking you could tell a white lie to them and stay at home? (I say this as someone who is actually so rubbish at lying!).

I always offer to stay at home and dog sit, so DH doesn't have to cut visiting his family short, but it's never worked as excuse!

iamnotalemon · 12/12/2024 22:59

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 20:52

I'm mid-40s and I have never spent Xmas alone. I've always split it between divorced parents to keep them happy (with all the drama that involves) or done what past partners wanted. I recently bought my first place and got my first dog, and I just want it to be us, snuggled up and chilling out, eating good food, watching what I want on TV in my own home. No plans. No people over. No travel. I'm not Bah Humbug! I like Xmas, I’ve bought presents, I plan to see people on other days in the holidays etc. I just really love my own space and company. To me I think I am living the dream but every person I have told has looked at me in pity and I could tell they thought I was putting on a brave face. (For background I have had three other options but declined as this is genuinely what I want to do. I'm happily single, childless, not Christian so the day itself doesn't hold a special significance and I live close to my family so see them all the time – and me spending alone hasn’t left any of them who wouldn’t want to be alone without company on the day). I came on Mumsnet hoping to find some fellow introverts doing this but it's only threads of people spending it alone and not being happy about it. Please tell me I am not alone in liking being alone. I feel like an alien.

Similar circumstances to me.
I hope you enjoy your first Christmas in your new home with your dog.
I'm in a different country to my family. Will be going for lunch with friends but otherwise will be on my own and I can't wait.

iamnotalemon · 12/12/2024 22:56

miniaturepixieonacid · 12/12/2024 21:25

I would LOVE this. As the single, able bodied, non elderly adult in my family, I spend the 22nd-27th driving a minimum of 2.5 hours every one of those days to make sure I get to everyone at both ends of the country and get disabled and elderly family members to see family with children. I hate Christmas.

In 2020 I was alone due to various zone and bubble rules that I can't remember. I ate chicken nuggets in my pyjamas while watching Christmas films and cuddling my cat. Best Christmas ever!

I appreciate its not that easy, but you can say no. I hope you get some time to rest in there this year x

iamnotalemon · 12/12/2024 22:55

MerlinsButler · 12/12/2024 22:37

Chocs not chicks!

Grin
Purplecatshopaholic · 12/12/2024 22:49

Year I got divorced I spent it on my own, with my dog. Was invited to family but genuinely just wanted no pressure or stress and just my own company. It was bloody awesome!

Fridayfederica · 12/12/2024 22:43

One of my favourite Christmases was spent mostly alone with my cat, watching films, drinking Champagne and eating smoked salmon followed by a delicious gammon based dinner that meant leftovers for days. My best friend came by for a few hours in the evening to watch a film and eat dome more. It was wonderful, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat but I have other people to think of now 😂

Frontroomroomjungle · 12/12/2024 22:42

Some years ago, when I was single and child free, my family announced they were going abroad for Christmas and I wasn't invited. I wish I had had the mindset of having an indulgent day to myself, especially when their plans fell through and I was welcome again.

Your day sounds fabulous, OP, enjoy!

MerlinsButler · 12/12/2024 22:37

No chicks were harmed

TomorrowTodayYesterday · 12/12/2024 22:37

I've done this a couple of times. I booked an Airbnb for just me and my dog which meant that, not only did I get peace and full control of the remote but, because I'm not in my own house, I don't feel guilty for not doing the washing or cleaning. I didn't even have to make small talk with the neighbours as nobody knew me. Do it, you will not regret it.

MerlinsButler · 12/12/2024 22:37

Chocs not chicks!

MerlinsButler · 12/12/2024 22:36

@HanG77 I once accidentally ended up spending Christmas alone. A mix of trains cancelled and work.

It was amazing. I'm an introvert. I watched Christmas movies (it's a wonderful life), ate way too many chicks, had a lovely bottle of wine and generally loved the whole day. It was bliss!

ThePoliteLion · 12/12/2024 22:32

Please do it! A solo Christmas with a dog is my idea of bliss too

fivebyfivebuffy · 12/12/2024 22:25

I'm alone with the cat this year, I get two days off work (Christmas Day and Boxing Day) and I just want to sit on my arse watching films and eating cheese TBH Grin
I will do an exercise class on Christmas Day though!

stanleypops66 · 12/12/2024 21:58

You have your lovely dog who is probably as good a company as anyone!

I've never spent it alone, but I do love a day at home when dh and dc out. Xmas day gives you a great chance to chill out guilt free with nice food, nice wine and tv.

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 21:45

Wiserandolder · 12/12/2024 21:19

I totally understand.. I too am an introvert - my husband works offshore so I live alone for part of the year! I have grown up children with families and they are often round, but those moments it's just me and my Jack Russell are golden. Work is busy so I really appreciate complete peace and would have no problem with Christmas Day just doing my own thing.. enjoy!!

I 100% relate to this..."those moments it's just me and my Jack Russell are golden."

OP posts: