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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to love the idea of spending Xmas alone? (One for fellow introverts) ...

86 replies

HanG77 · 12/12/2024 20:52

I'm mid-40s and I have never spent Xmas alone. I've always split it between divorced parents to keep them happy (with all the drama that involves) or done what past partners wanted. I recently bought my first place and got my first dog, and I just want it to be us, snuggled up and chilling out, eating good food, watching what I want on TV in my own home. No plans. No people over. No travel. I'm not Bah Humbug! I like Xmas, I’ve bought presents, I plan to see people on other days in the holidays etc. I just really love my own space and company. To me I think I am living the dream but every person I have told has looked at me in pity and I could tell they thought I was putting on a brave face. (For background I have had three other options but declined as this is genuinely what I want to do. I'm happily single, childless, not Christian so the day itself doesn't hold a special significance and I live close to my family so see them all the time – and me spending alone hasn’t left any of them who wouldn’t want to be alone without company on the day). I came on Mumsnet hoping to find some fellow introverts doing this but it's only threads of people spending it alone and not being happy about it. Please tell me I am not alone in liking being alone. I feel like an alien.

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Movingonup313 · 25/12/2024 06:32

Love a day to myself and would love christmas day alone. Id get myself some nice comfies, food food and drink, take the dog for a long blowy early walk and then have a lovely long day reading/watching/listening to things that make me happy. Maybe another dog walk at night. Also feel the ick of the pity party and wish I had a good response. At least wfh has the benefit of not having 50 people in an office asking what you are doing/eating on christmas day.... even when I was part of a big family that I shared elongated christmas celebrations with I disliked people whom were basically strangers asking me.

Enjoy!

sammylady37 · 25/12/2024 06:18

Another introvert here who loves spending Christmas alone. I’ve been fielding invitations and pity all month, which is annoying. It’s blissful spending the days and nights alone (by choice), with nobody else to be factored in.

ForGreyKoala · 25/12/2024 02:51

I spent last Christmas alone and loved it - and I'm not an introvert. I don't have family any more and don't want to spend time with friends and their families. I live alone and so Christmas Day alone to me is no big deal.

However, this year I did go to my neighbours' place for lunch - I've just returned (it's part way through Christmas Day in this part of the world) - and enjoyed it very much. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of the day alone however.

EmpressaurusKitty · 25/12/2024 02:10

iamnotalemon · 24/12/2024 22:49

OMG, I'm the same! I've lived alone for so long, I worry how I'd live with a partner.

I tried living with a partner. Never again!

iamnotalemon · 24/12/2024 22:49

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 16:05

I get that most people like living with other people. I don’t have to understand why.

I love time with friends & family but I can only recharge & properly relax when it’s just me.

OMG, I'm the same! I've lived alone for so long, I worry how I'd live with a partner.

Tutorpuzzle · 24/12/2024 17:06

Deargodletitgo · 24/12/2024 15:56

Does anyone else, when spending time with loved family and friends, still find themselves calculating when they can next have some proper alone time?

Yes, frequently. And at work I have to go out to my car for half an hour at lunchtime to decompress. Not sure I’m going to be able to do that tomorrow!!

(BTW, I think your username is brilliant and I’m going to borrow it for my mantra for 2025 🤣)

schmeler · 24/12/2024 16:33

Do it. I did it when it was lockdown and it was heaven. I also got the pity party all the while I was thinking how much I was looking forward to it.

Ratisshortforratthew · 24/12/2024 16:32

Octopies · 12/12/2024 22:59

I always offer to stay at home and dog sit, so DH doesn't have to cut visiting his family short, but it's never worked as excuse!

Why do you need an excuse though? Don’t offer or ask, just state your intentions.

Ratisshortforratthew · 24/12/2024 16:31

YANBU at all! This year I’ve gone travelling for five weeks in SE Asia alone and I’m currently in Bali. I’ve left my partner at home in the UK! One of my favourite Christmases was the one I spent alone with my dog in lockdown. Do it OP - and everyone else who wants a day an alone. An invite to a relative’s isn’t a summons, just say no (to anything you don’t want to do). If they’re reasonable people they’ll accept that you want a quiet indulgent day.

Thomasina79 · 24/12/2024 16:31

I get it too. The christmasses I have spent feeling lonely in the midst of many people, some quite dysfunctional. Whilst not on my own exactly this year it is just DH and myself, christmas with the bad bits left out! I’ve always got upset in past years, but not this one. I wonder why!

enjoy

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 16:25

Iloveyoubut · 24/12/2024 16:21

I think enjoying it alone all comes down to whether it’s your choice or whether you have no option.

Yes, definitely.

Iloveyoubut · 24/12/2024 16:21

I think enjoying it alone all comes down to whether it’s your choice or whether you have no option.

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 16:15

Nothatgingerpirate · 24/12/2024 16:11

Absolutely YANBU.
Fellow introvert actually curious about living on her own one day, with her own seasons, birthdays and Christmases, too.
❤️

As far as I’m concerned it’s pure joy. But as far as my widowed dad’s concerned it’s the complete opposite so I tend to be careful what I say when I’m talking to him.

Nothatgingerpirate · 24/12/2024 16:11

Absolutely YANBU.
Fellow introvert actually curious about living on her own one day, with her own seasons, birthdays and Christmases, too.
❤️

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 16:05

I get that most people like living with other people. I don’t have to understand why.

I love time with friends & family but I can only recharge & properly relax when it’s just me.

Deargodletitgo · 24/12/2024 15:56

Does anyone else, when spending time with loved family and friends, still find themselves calculating when they can next have some proper alone time?

BigBundleOfFluff · 24/12/2024 15:54

I'm not completely alone as I'll get my kids back Xmas day lunchtime but I love it. People are horrified so I just say I have a lovely day planned and smile.
Today I have spent hours rearranging my bookcases. Another couple of hours on houseplant care. Then cheese and books/tv. Alone with my own thoughts.
Tomorrow morning, more of the same plus dog walks. Genuinely can't think of anything better!

YourChirpyFatball · 24/12/2024 15:47

I live alone and crave to be alone. I do enjoy the company of friends and family but it's always a relief to get back to solitude. I had a Morrisons food delivery via Amazon this morning and set to have a full Christmas dinner on my own tomorrow.
Currently stretched out on the settee, no TV on and enjoying the experience. I rarely experience boredom.

LBFseBrom · 24/12/2024 15:45

EmmaMaria · 24/12/2024 15:27

This ^
I'm not an introvert, but my entire life has always revolved around people - a very intense people focussed career. So "alone time" is something precious to me and I have spent Christmas alone for years. I recently moved - I retired - and have spent the last week reassuring the neighbours that I REALLY, REALLY don't want to join them for Christmas without offending anyone.

I have often felt the same, so sympathise.

BlackChunkyBoots · 24/12/2024 15:39

I will have this next year. I'm totally ok with it. This year my family are having me over but next year I'll only have the 25th off and that's ok with me. I'd watch crap Netflix Christmas films, eat party food from a nearby tray and drink lager. I might take myself out for a walk. Or a cycle. Obviously not whilst drunk!

EmmaMaria · 24/12/2024 15:27

Ponoka7 · 12/12/2024 21:00

I'm not introverted but I'm all peopled out and am constantly busy. So I'm really having to apply boundaries to get people to accept I'm happy to spend Christmas day alone, me, the tv, buffet food and baileys.

This ^
I'm not an introvert, but my entire life has always revolved around people - a very intense people focussed career. So "alone time" is something precious to me and I have spent Christmas alone for years. I recently moved - I retired - and have spent the last week reassuring the neighbours that I REALLY, REALLY don't want to join them for Christmas without offending anyone.

Deargodletitgo · 24/12/2024 15:25

I do recognise that's there's a difference in having a choice as opposed to no choice in this though. I don't spend every day alone, so as an introvert my alone time is precious, and to be enjoyed.

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/12/2024 15:23

I was meant to be travelling today & staying with family until the 27th, but instead I’m in bed with a rotten cold. The fridge & freezer are stacked with soup & ice cream (thank you Deliveroo) & tomorrow the cat & I are going to open our presents & relax.

I’m not saying I’m not disappointed, but if I had to be ill I’m bloody thankful it came on before I left, & that I don’t have anyone else living here. Totally unsociable when I’m ill.

beguilingeyes · 24/12/2024 15:23

That was one of the best things about lockdown, IMO. Being able to spend Christmas at home.

TwistedWonder · 24/12/2024 15:18

Back in 2021 I tested positive for Covid on 20 Dec - back then it was 10 days isolation. I spent the whole of Christmas alone and I loved it.

My ExH went food shopping for me and left it outside. On the actual day I ate M&S party food all day, drank Prosecco, watched what I wanted on tv and stayed in my pjs all day and it was bliss.

Im actually a very social introvert. I love going out with friends and I’ve had a really hectic build up being out every weekend in Nov/Dec but I need that down time inbetween to recharge and prepare for the next night out .