To say no to dog on holiday

You're paying the majority of the house, and your BIL is being unreasonable. If he wants a dog, he'll have to take responsibility for it in terms of paying for his own dog friendly accomodations or missing out. You're not the slightest bit unreasonable, you're taking care of your own health and the safety of your baby. Your family shouldn't be asking you to reconsider.

Oh, give over. I don't have small children and am not afraid of dogs, nor do I dislike them. I just wouldn't want to share a holiday rental with a dog.

It is people like you who give dog owners a bad name. What don't you get about the OP not wanting a young dog staying with them? Not everyone feels the same way as you do about dogs.

@Tired88p85 the options are: BIL finds somewhere else to stay, you find somewhere else to stay or he finds someone to look after the dog.

TBH it might be better for your sanity if you have somewhere else to stay. Being cooped up with so many people is very stressful even without a baby.

In my dogs home? No. I would manage it in as far as I would keep the dog away from the other person. However, if they visit my home where my dog lives I would not lock him away.

As it is I have a Basset Hound so mostly he sleeps in his spot and couldn't care less who is here. So dog may well choose to be in a different room.

I do let people know I have a dog before they visit.
Their choice if they then want to visit.

Feeling awful is not nice but it’s just that a feeling it’s not a fact. Tempting to cave in in order to make the feeling go away but stay strong. Perhaps think about why you feel awful (I would as well as I’m a reformed people pleaser) and if this happens in other areas.

Even without your fear of dogs and regardless of the dog breed, YANBU to not want a one year old puppy around your 8 month old.

Your DH needs to be the bad cop and draw a line under it, no dogs allowed.

Until XL Bullies were created SBT were the most featured in the statistics of fatal dog attacks on humans in the UK.

The "nanny dog" is laughably ridiculous. Just because one bloody fool came up with the phrase doesn't make it true!

One look at the statistics proves it. "Nanny dogs" don't kill children. Ever.

I adore dogs but I still feel YANBU.

Your phobia aside, and the dog’s breed aside, (although I’ve only heard good things IRL about Staffies), the mix of a young dog and a baby is not great. My dog is a nearly three year old Labrador but he’s an excitable fellow and I don’t even leave him in the same room as my 8 year old nephew. It would be really stressful having to watch the baby and the dog at the same time.

Especially Op as you’re paying and they’re all insisting on being in the same house. The alternative could be that you hire a place with a separate annex for the dog to stay in but it sounds like your family won’t accept that. So you are definitely not being unreasonable in asserting your wishes here.

I adore my dog, almost a bit ridiculously,
and hate to leave him behind with a dog sitter, but I still realise that there are times and places for him to be included and when not.

Just becayse some people have dogs doesn't mean op has to holiday with one, especially if she's paying for a big chunk of the accommodation!

"Hi all having slept on it I feel SO bad that BIL can't be with you all so we've gone ahead an booked xyz so that baby can get some space from puppy if needed, let me know whether to cancel the main house accommodation or not".

I wouldn’t expect my dogs to be included in a situation like this. I’d get a sitter or I wouldn’t go.

BIL sounds like a dickhead. You should be happy he doesn’t come, he will likely bring the dog.

Watch out for that and be prepared to tell him to piss off.

Bil is an idiot. The dog is being excluded, not him. Make sure you book a non dog friendly place. It’s insane to suggest that he bring his new unknown dog to a highly stressful situation with lots of strangers, worst possible thing to do to a dog.

The nanny dog thing is a complete MYTH.

Historically bull breeds were NEVER used to look after children.

Bull breeds kill and maim more children than any other dog type.

@Tired88p85 Stick to your guns.

It really doesn't matter if they think you are reasonable or not. No to the dog. The BIL can make a decision, come or stay at home with dog.

You do sound a little bit precious first born. There are plenty of compromises that could be made, your bil could and probably would bring a crate, baby gate etc. Plenty of people have dogs and babies and it is managed just fine. The fact you were saying the dog is a pit bull when it is actually a staffie, already shows your drama levels. You are going to be one of those mums that passes on all their phobias and fears to their children (I would say parents, but I’ve mainly seen this with mums).

Are dogs even allowed in the property? Apart from anything else puppies can be destructive little buggers so I wouldn't be risking my deposit.

FWIW I'm not a dog person at all.

My DB has the most gorgeous blue staffie and he is brilliant with my DN and DC. No I would never leave DC alone with ANY DOG. All dogs are unpredictable.
However, he's got a much nicer calmer temperament than BILs stupid happy white fluffy dog that people would probably assume is 'cuter' - but definitely less child friendly!

Given your fear and the fact it'll be a puppy YANBU.

Agree on the fact introducing a crawling baby (potentially, my 3 were 11-12 months before crawling) to a new dog is not good. Staffies are pretty friendly dogs (to humans anyway) but not a good idea when dog is meeting lots of new family members. He needs to either put the dog in kennels / home stay or pay for his own accomodation nearby. The rest of you can stay together if preferred.

OP I love dogs and have had a few over the years and yes Staffies are lovely and generally good around children. However an unknown dog with a baby? no way would I have them together. BIL is gonna have to suck it up and book the dog into the kennels or he doenst go.

Dogs are bloody everywhere now. Can’t go into a restaurant without a dog sitting there.

I love dogs but I think it’s gone too far.

You do realise not everyone wants a do around don't you?

Who gets to decide a dog is a 'highlight'

The op doesn’t like dogs. It will NOT be the highlight of her holiday, in the villa she and her dh are paying for for everyone.

I know own you're saying it's more about your baby than your fear of dogs - but I think they are being bloody cheeky to get the hump that someone who is genuinely scared of dogs doesn't want to spend such a long time with a dog! Especially when you're bearing the brunt of the costs!

BiL has a choice. He either stays home with the, as yet unknown, dog or he arranges doggy care. I also have a residual fear of dogs which I have largely overcome but wouldn’t want to share a holiday home with a young rescue dog whose temperament is yet to reveal itself. You also have a baby. The safety of the baby and your fear of dogs trumps his needs so stand your ground. BiL sounds selfish and immature.

If we had no children at all and I were frightened of dogs, I’d expect my dh to say there is no way we are playing for a holiday house where my wife is uncomfortable, just like we wouldn’t get a house with not enough beds and say my wife gets to sleep on the floor and we will all have a great holiday. If I liked dogs and would have an 8mo, I’d expect dh to say any new puppy with a lot of strangers in a strange environment and also a small crawling baby is a nightmare and with that breed it’s a dangerous nightmare, get a grip you idiot NO DOG.

tell your dh if there are comments while you’re there and he doesn’t stand up for you you and baby are booking an early flight back and they can all fuck off.