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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you do on Christmas Day?

252 replies

cattuccino · 12/12/2024 19:25

Scenario A - spend Christmas Day at home with husband, who doesn't 'do' Christmas apart from a roast dinner. He will spend most of the day in his computer room playing on the Xbox, watching films etc, with no desire to celebrate the day or do anything special. You usually stay at home as you feel bad leaving him alone on Christmas Day, so you will be watching Christmas tv and maybe going for a walk (alone). You would then visit family on Boxing Day.

Scenario B - spend Christmas Day with your parents and siblings, plus some wider family. Have a big meal together with them and maybe play board games, have fun chatting etc.
However husband would not come with you for this (so it may appear strange to others) and you would have a 100 mile round trip (driving) to get there.

What would you do?

OP posts:
DowntonNabby · 12/12/2024 20:00

I would do B), then execute option C) – separate in the NY with a view to divorcing. What's the point of being married to someone who won't even sit in the same room as you on Christmas Day?

Silvers11 · 12/12/2024 20:00

Option B and stay over. Don't be embarrassed about it. DH doesn't like/celebrate Christmas, so it's fair enough - and you can get Ready meals for 1 with a 'roast' theme!!

Gingernaut · 12/12/2024 19:59

B and look up divorce proceedings in the New Year

I don't 'do' Christmas, but he sounds like a bellend

MumWifeOther · 12/12/2024 19:58

cattuccino · 12/12/2024 19:25

Scenario A - spend Christmas Day at home with husband, who doesn't 'do' Christmas apart from a roast dinner. He will spend most of the day in his computer room playing on the Xbox, watching films etc, with no desire to celebrate the day or do anything special. You usually stay at home as you feel bad leaving him alone on Christmas Day, so you will be watching Christmas tv and maybe going for a walk (alone). You would then visit family on Boxing Day.

Scenario B - spend Christmas Day with your parents and siblings, plus some wider family. Have a big meal together with them and maybe play board games, have fun chatting etc.
However husband would not come with you for this (so it may appear strange to others) and you would have a 100 mile round trip (driving) to get there.

What would you do?

B. And then I would weigh up what my husband is bringing to our marriage.

Baxterbaxter · 12/12/2024 19:58

B. I would offer the invite to husband but if he wants to spend the day, alone with his x box, I would rather be with my family. Life is too short to have a miserable Christmas with the Grinch.

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 12/12/2024 19:58

B, definitely. Who the fuck games on Christmas Day!? It doesn't matter that he doesn't 'do Christmas'... he should still want to spend time with you on a day that you consider to be special. Who makes the lunch? I'm willing to bet it's you...

Gingerbee · 12/12/2024 19:58

B snd stay over

RubyRedBow · 12/12/2024 19:57

I honestly don’t know what I would do. I’d feel bad leaving him alone.

Goldbar · 12/12/2024 19:57

B+ - spend the holiday with family, ditch the Grinch.

Justsayit123 · 12/12/2024 19:57

Another vote for B. And to leave your dh

LizzoBennett · 12/12/2024 19:57

B! I didn't celebrate Christmas with my husband until we had DC (over 10 years) - and we both love Christmas. We just knew we would be spending lots of them together down the line. Although I can't imagine celebrating Christmas with someone like your DH alongside DC. He sounds like a moody teen.

MikeRafone · 12/12/2024 19:57

I’d do what I wanted to do, if my dp wants to spend Xmas alone then there isn’t any guilty in doing what I choose

HibiscusIsland1 · 12/12/2024 19:56

B and stay over - Christmas Eve and Christmas night. He's showing no consideration for you so you do what makes you happy.

CactusSammy · 12/12/2024 19:55

B - I would stay with my family for the whole of christmas, leave the miserable fucker to it, and hope that he had moved out by the time I got back.

Matronic6 · 12/12/2024 19:55

Option B and would definitely stay a few nights. Tbh don't think I'd got back to that!

oohyoudevilyou · 12/12/2024 19:54

B
But I'd have a full and frank discussion with my DH about compromise, doing things to make each other happy and taking turns. Can't see why the pair of you can't agree to have Xmas day with your family, then spend Boxing Day at home together in PJ's...him gaming, you watching TV. Or some similar arrangement. If he wont budge from spending the holiday holed up in his cave gaming, I'd be questioning our future together.

Pineapplewaves · 12/12/2024 19:54

B - can you not stay Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day? - leave DH with a three day pass to game as much as he likes!

AliceS1994 · 12/12/2024 19:53

B

tryinganothername · 12/12/2024 19:53

B

BabyDoge · 12/12/2024 19:53

Scenario B, and don't rush back!

Vaxtable · 12/12/2024 19:52

B and stay over

MiddleAgedDread · 12/12/2024 19:51

C divorce gaming husband

Cherrysoup · 12/12/2024 19:51

B, rather obviously.

PinkiOcelot · 12/12/2024 19:50

Definitely B. I’d also stay over.

Ponoka7 · 12/12/2024 19:50

I do Christmas, but don't want to go to my DP's family. So we have a special breakfast and off he goes. It doesn't sound as though you figure in his plans, so go.