Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do on Christmas Day?

252 replies

cattuccino · 12/12/2024 19:25

Scenario A - spend Christmas Day at home with husband, who doesn't 'do' Christmas apart from a roast dinner. He will spend most of the day in his computer room playing on the Xbox, watching films etc, with no desire to celebrate the day or do anything special. You usually stay at home as you feel bad leaving him alone on Christmas Day, so you will be watching Christmas tv and maybe going for a walk (alone). You would then visit family on Boxing Day.

Scenario B - spend Christmas Day with your parents and siblings, plus some wider family. Have a big meal together with them and maybe play board games, have fun chatting etc.
However husband would not come with you for this (so it may appear strange to others) and you would have a 100 mile round trip (driving) to get there.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Loub1987 · 12/12/2024 21:34

B - obviously if he does what he wants, why shouldn’t you?

tolerable · 12/12/2024 21:33

B
(Prob stay over if optional) Is "just one day" bla bla bla.... Better one day of making memories than not.

Growlybear83 · 12/12/2024 21:33

@magicalmrmistoffelees He is, and isn't at all Christmassy, but I would hate being apart.

magicalmrmistoffelees · 12/12/2024 21:32

Growlybear83 · 12/12/2024 21:31

Definitely A - I would have missed my mum on Christmas Day, but I would never want to spend the day away from my husband.

Even if he was a miserable fucker?

Growlybear83 · 12/12/2024 21:31

Definitely A - I would have missed my mum on Christmas Day, but I would never want to spend the day away from my husband.

ProjectsGalore · 12/12/2024 21:22

B then join the thousands of others who file for divorce in January after a crap Christmas with a useless partner!

Christmasishere9 · 12/12/2024 21:21

Assumming your husband likes Christmas how will you celebrate the 2 of you? Or would you idea scenario that he comes with you to see your family?

Anyway, he seems a boring man so why do you have to sacrifice yourself for him if he can’t make an effort for what you like and enjoy?

Other option and have and early lunch or brunch with him and head to your family after for games, tv, stay overnight

BeSnappyOtter · 12/12/2024 21:20

cattuccino · 12/12/2024 19:25

Scenario A - spend Christmas Day at home with husband, who doesn't 'do' Christmas apart from a roast dinner. He will spend most of the day in his computer room playing on the Xbox, watching films etc, with no desire to celebrate the day or do anything special. You usually stay at home as you feel bad leaving him alone on Christmas Day, so you will be watching Christmas tv and maybe going for a walk (alone). You would then visit family on Boxing Day.

Scenario B - spend Christmas Day with your parents and siblings, plus some wider family. Have a big meal together with them and maybe play board games, have fun chatting etc.
However husband would not come with you for this (so it may appear strange to others) and you would have a 100 mile round trip (driving) to get there.

What would you do?

B Spend a few days with your family and do it every year.

ToffeePennie · 12/12/2024 21:19

Option B, with a stay in a hotel or B&B local to them, if they don’t have enough room.

Laura36TTC · 12/12/2024 21:19

B but I would stay over

UndertheCedartree · 12/12/2024 21:16

B

I assume he wouldn't mind?

Just explain he doesn't enjoy Christmas. Not everyone does.

Itiswhysofew · 12/12/2024 21:15

If you want to be with fellow celebrators, away from the Grunch, choose plan B.

Why would you stay home only to be left on your own by him, even though he's in the same house as you? It's his choice not to celebrate, but you also have a choice to celebrate how you want to.

Does he have family who celebrate Christmas?

unclebuck · 12/12/2024 21:13

you should have done a vote! B for sure.

Anotherworrier · 12/12/2024 21:13

Your DH can’t ‘do’ one day? Umm, ok.

SereneCapybara · 12/12/2024 21:12

B. I'd stay Christmas Eve and Christmas night. Maybe Boxing Day too then drive back after Boxing Day tea. Tell family that all is well, he's fine, he just doesn't celebrate Christmas much and you do so it makes sense to be with family.

Promise not to feel guilty. It really is okay to do things you want to do and not constantly meet his needs and deny your own. As long as everyone is happy, ditch the guilt and have fun.

marmia1234 · 12/12/2024 21:12

I know a couple of people who don't "do" christmas and nobody bats an eyelid. It's just "say hi to them for me, hopefully catch up soon".

StrawberrySquash · 12/12/2024 21:10

B it's not like Christmas means anything to him. Whereas I'd hate to be left. But otherwise you are sacrificing your special day.

AbigailsPartyFrock · 12/12/2024 21:09

C. Divorce

He sounds awful. Nobody has to like Christmas, but some effort to spend time together should be the minimum you’d expect from him.

RampantIvy · 12/12/2024 21:09

Why would you feel bad leaving him when he will spend all day in another room ignoring you? He won't miss you.

It's a no brainer to me. Option B definitely.

Blogswife · 12/12/2024 21:09

Your husband doesn’t celebrate Xmas - you do , so B lets you both spend the day as you wish .

2021x · 12/12/2024 21:08

Look I hate the enforced merriment of Christmas. It starts to early and goes on way to long by the time it gets to Dec 25th I am done with it and would perfectly happy ignoring it.

But if my partner wanted to spend time with their family I would not begrudge them. If you feel bad but he doesn’t care then that’s on you. If he is making you feel bad, then that’s very much on him.

Barney16 · 12/12/2024 21:07

I would spend morning with husband then go to family. Which is exactly what I'm doing because partner hates Christmas, doesn't do Christmas and I'm fed up of being miserable by myself in the same house as Scrooge pretending I like it.

Tavimama · 12/12/2024 21:07

B. Merry Christmas

AngryBookworm · 12/12/2024 21:05

B. If anything your husband sounds like he'd enjoy being alone as less pressure to do Christmas things. Don't deprive yourself of a nice family Christmas that you enjoy for something he hasn't asked for (or even if he has, if he'd spend most of the day in a separate room from you then he doesn't actually deserve or require your company!).

Bbq1 · 12/12/2024 21:04

B
Then divorce him in the New Year?