AIBU to feel a bit fobbed off by response to complaint?

This all sounds a bit odd to me. How did your mother find out you were in A&E? Why did the doctor even speak to her on the phone? Very unusual for a doctor to speak to family members in that situation - it would usually be a nurse. The doctor was of course in the wrong to give out information about you, but you have received an apology for that.

Her visiting you and being allowed to sit and wait until you woke up sounds totally normal UNLESS the staff had been instructed that you didn't want visitors or, more specifically, that you didn't want your mother to be allowed in. Had that happened?

Nurses don't police who comes in to see patients. I visited my brother recently. I walked onto the ward, gave his name and asked which room he was in. They told me and I went in to see him. Anyone can walk into a hospital...

The responses clearly missed the point that the Dr breached patient confidentiality which is actually a genuine issue. Her mother should not have ever been told about her pregnancy. They don't know what her relationship with her mother is like, for all they know she could be in a court battle with her. It doesn't have to be noted in the system, patient medical history should not be disclosed to anyone including family without consent.
It doesn't matter if OP wasn't harmed, how do you know, it's not something to be overlooked as there may be a time it could actually harm a patient with their sloppy care. These policies are there for a reason.

I think this warranted disciplinary proceedings against the doctor - by which I don't mean they should have been sacked/struck off, but they should have been formally warned.

I also don't like this attitude that pervades public services of "oh there's nothing else we could have done, you can't prevent accidents!". There are any number of things that could be done. Training could be improved to incorporate real-life scenarios. Patients could be asked at the point of admission who they want contacted. A named member of staff for each ward could be responsible for contacting families. Those are just off the top of my head.

If the NHS can't afford to do these things, or doesn't want to, then that's a different story. But don't throw your hands up and pretend this is just one of those things.

Someone from the hospital complaints team spending an hour with OP, would be doing their job, could glean some useful feedback to inform procedure and training and may make a patient feel better after a bad experience. That’s not a waste of their time.

Absolutely. The last one I got struck off was the Registrar who was reading referral letters, complete with patient identifiable information, on the 42 bus going from Manchester Royal Infirmary into the city centre, in a way that anyone sitting behind him could read the same. Five minutes of video from my mobile phone and he didn't even contest it.

The GMC has offices in Manchester. Draw your own conclusions about my starting point for this.

@InveterateWineDrinker i do hope you upheld your duty of care and reported each and everyone of the reprobate consultants you’ve had the pleasure of working with to the GMC!

@YellowAsteroid you can’t help being dehydrated with hyperemesis for goodness sake. It’s not a sign of somebody ‘not looking after themselves’ it’s just a ‘very unwell pregnant patient’!

How do you know it was a consultant, let alone an arrogant one? And even if it was, you haven’t answered my question about whether you think it was a mistake so terrible as to warrant the ending of their career.

Well, self evidently I do not know that it was a consultant. But I do know that consultants are responsible for the junior doctors they supervise.

As for whether it was terrible enough to warrant the ending of a career... as a one off, probably not. If it's part of a pattern of blindness to the concept of patient confidentiality, or indeed a pattern of utter contempt for the same then it probably is. In the UK, the GMC is the arbiter of that decision and unless they know about the patterns...

OP, report the doctor. Do not trust the NHS on this. They look after themselves first.

https://www.gmc-uk.org/concerns

Yes I do understand that, but I’m prepared to believe that there may have been reasons that medical staff felt that the OP needed someone there. To be hospitalised for dehydration suggests the OP isn’t capable of taking care of herself properly.

They made a mistake not once, by informing your mother thus breaching patient confidentiality, but then letting her sit with you against your express wishes. Respond to the report in writing, have your say on the impact and request a meeting to follow up your complaint. You will probably still feel unheard but it is important to have this on record.

The OP has said she didn't want her family to know for various reasons and I'm guessing that it's because her mum/family have got previous for being cunts, whatever the reason I'm sure the OP has her own valid reason and not everyone has a mother like Mary Poppins.
Some right nobheads on here

The doctor made a mistake. They've acknowledged that and apologised.

To be honest though I think the real issue is your mother overstepping. If you didn't want her involved how did she know where you were? She overstepped by phoning and asking for information and then by actually turning up at the hospital. If you didn't want her doing this it's your mother you really need a conversation with about personal privacy.

A patient's right to confidentiality is a longstanding principle in medicine.

How do you know it was a consultant, let alone an arrogant one? And even if it was, you haven’t answered my question about whether you think it was a mistake so terrible as to warrant the ending of their career.

I take it that if you ever make a mistake at work for which you immediately apologise you will think it’s only right to have your career ended and your life ruined.

No, just worked with a lot of consultants who genuinely believe - with good reason, unfortunately - that they needn't concern themselves with anything as grubby as the law, never mind Trust policies, good practice, or any other niceties. For many of them, the ONLY threat is the one to their wallet.

But why? You are just wasting peoples time.

No-one's saying you should have to list "everyone", but it’s pretty unusual for a patient not to want their mother to be allowed in to see them.

I agree with you.

most pregnant women might want their mother! that's the damaging assumption though. Those that don't want their mother will be rightly pissed off if their mother is allowed an update on their care.

How absolutely ridiculous. So because a busy doctor made a mistake (not a medical mistake) you think it’s right to abuse them verbally, assert that they are unfit to practise and demand that they are struck off, ruining their life?

I assume you are perfect and have never made any error in your work…

You shouldn't have to list everyone you don't want present

So I used to have to respond to complaints as part of my NHS post. Our Trust insists we make contact with the complainant and meet with them as part of our response. Most people do want to feel heard and I always respected that.

It is a breach of confidentiality and for you it has caused unnecessary distress. The person responding to the complaint should have met with you and apologized directly!

I work for a mental health Trust, I am always surprised how different things are in general Trusts!

@InveterateWineDrinker awful post.

My experience of UK medicine in general and the NHS in particular is that they hide behind 'lessons learned' but real world accountability is never going to be applied by the system.

Report the doctor directly to the GMC under a fitness to practice complaint. It's the only way these cunts learn.

Not ok to blame someone for a medical problem - hyperemesis is not easy to control, many women are hospitalised.