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AIBU?

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Original poster

Left out at work?

61 replies

NevilleLong · 12/12/2024 17:30

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not.

Jacob's join is a frequent event at my place of work and I always cook and contribute. Normally a list is put up on the staff room door. This time there wasn't.

Overheard a conversation today about it, a colleague asked me what I was bringing. Explained I hadn't been told about it and know nothing about it. She said doesn't matter you can still eat something.

Colleague who has organised it is bringing her halogen oven so everyone can warm up food.

Just so happens, I stuck up for another colleague to the person who has organised the jacons join as she is almost impossible to work with. Think bossy, micromanaging, reading your emails etc.

I've got a lot of stress at home atm but to be deliberately left out, is not something I would personally do.

OP posts:
Poodleville · 12/12/2024 19:38

Hmm maybe monitor the situation, see if anything similar happens again. Hard to tell otherwise if it was intentional... but whether or not intentional, it sucks to feel left out.

Original poster
NevilleLong · 12/12/2024 19:34

StrawberryWater · 12/12/2024 19:07

If it's just one thing she's left you out of I wouldn't worry too much. If it becomes a pattern, or involves actual work and not a buffet, then complain.

However, it is a Jacobs Join and the idea of them is to bring a dish so perhaps it was assumed, rightly or wrongly, that you would just turn up with something regardless of being asked or not.

I didn't know it was happening to plan to turn up with something!
That's the thing, normally I get told.
Not this time!

OP posts:
StrawberryWater · 12/12/2024 19:07

If it's just one thing she's left you out of I wouldn't worry too much. If it becomes a pattern, or involves actual work and not a buffet, then complain.

However, it is a Jacobs Join and the idea of them is to bring a dish so perhaps it was assumed, rightly or wrongly, that you would just turn up with something regardless of being asked or not.

Original poster
NevilleLong · 12/12/2024 19:02

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 12/12/2024 18:14

@NevilleLong how does she manage to read your emails???

Shared mailbox

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 12/12/2024 18:14

@NevilleLong how does she manage to read your emails???

pictoosh · 12/12/2024 17:57

Not sure that you were left out to make a point. It sounds more likely that you were overlooked accidentally.
Only you will know of course but that's my impression.

NewName24 · 12/12/2024 17:54

I think you are making a massive leap here.

I would just assume it was accidental that you hadn't heard, and enjoy the food others had brought.
People are busy and these things happen.

Original poster
NevilleLong · 12/12/2024 17:43

RuthW · 12/12/2024 17:36

I don't understand. What is a Jacob's join?

What has the manager and your stress at home got to do with it?

Sorry.

I didn't mention my manager. It's were everyone brings a contribution of food.

OP posts:
Mary46 · 12/12/2024 17:38

Was it a group email about it? Ah not nice. We have school bus escorts group we include everyone if we having breakfast etc out if kids off early we stay local

Doggymummar · 12/12/2024 17:38

I guess a buffet?

RuthW · 12/12/2024 17:36

I don't understand. What is a Jacob's join?

What has the manager and your stress at home got to do with it?

Sorry.