To argue with friend

This friendship does not seem to have healthy dynamics on either side. Both of you are passive aggressive to one another over text. Who needs that? I would suggest finding other friends who enjoy your company, and you theirs.

She could have social anxiety. Some days I cant even walk into a supermarket on my own, other days il travel the whole of my town alone. It comes and goes for me personally, its possible your friend suffers the same way. If you have anxiety yourself then hopefully you can be a little more understanding of that.
Its also possible that her other friend is more demanding and doesn't pander to her. Your friend may have suggested a different place to meet and her other friend refused, you really have no idea of how their friendship works and how the conversation went.
You sound very resentful of your friend, seems like you dont like her very much. All of your updates you just want to paint her in a really bad light and make your point more valid. You should end the friendship for her sake if this is how you feel / speak about her behind her back.
Her comments about your job weren't great but if it were my friend I wouldnt be that offended by it. Id have pulled her up at the time to squash it or just let it go. The fact you are still holding onto this is more proof of your resentment.

If it's a friendship you value, let it go for goodness sake!

After criticising my home I'd have been having a rethink about the friendship before even all the other stuff occurred

It doesn't sound like either of you likes the other very much.

She messaged me yesterday to say she's meeting another friend, whom she doesn't see much, in town this Sunday

The fact she told you that would suggest to me she was maybe hoping for a bit of support perhaps. Not a barbed comment with a smiley face.

If she's anxious about going into town perhaps you could see this as a step towards her overcoming that to an extent that she'll be able to plan going to town with you?

So you were being critical then! Don't flower it ip with a smiley, say what you mean!

Friendships either grow or decline. It's not easy to face this but it's true. We would like them to go on forever but people just grow in different directions.

I have a feeling that simply letting go gently would be the best way to move on.

I don't think you are controlling. I don't think this is much of a friendship, either, on both sides. You need to stop dwelling on how resentful you feel. Just leave it there and move on.

I don't think it's all that deep! I do things I don't really like to make other people happy all the time. Like a girl from work asks to go to a coffee shop I hate, but I go because it's polite. Would I go with my actual friends? No, because I'm comfortable enough to tell them I really don't like going there 🤣🤣 I think your friend is comfortable enough to be true with you🤷🏻‍♀️ so was just avoiding the hassle, of saying no to the other friend

I also wouldn't be offended by the you sit down all day comment 🤣 she was probably half joking anyway 🤣 the other day, my friend told me to get out of her car before she went into the parking space because, I would be too fat to squeeze out 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣🤣 I wasn't offended, I was def too fat to squeeze out 🤣 (if she was with someone else, she would have hunted for a different space)

🎵 Now then mardy bum....

One of a few things has happened-

A, she has become more confident and feels better about meeting in town with anyone including you.

B, she feels comfortable enough with you to be honest and say when she's struggling. She doesn't with other people so will put her self in uncomfortable situations rather than admit her issues

C, she pushes you around to get her own way because she knows she can

Well done for standing your ground, OP.

People will take you at your own valuation.

You showed you value yourself and your time, so she now realises she needs to value you as much as you value her.

Can you explain why it's ok for someone who hates the town to meet a doctor in town but not an office worker?

@Manara tell me you have no clue without telling me you have no clue what you’re talking about 🤣

Goodness me!
please ditch this friend for her sake! You sound like an unhinged nightmare.
Leave the poor woman alone.

It really doesn't make any sense to be willing to meet in town for a doctor or nurse and not an office worker. I know office workers who have worked 60 hours a week and are exhausted by Friday.

Neither of you need to explain to one another why you prefer to do things a certain way.

@Manara how can you not see a difference. I have friends that are doctors and nurses in a busy tertiary hospital and frankly they are worked to the absolute ends of tolerance at this time of year. I have friends that work from home or in an office. I value the time and energy of my acute providers of healthcare more and will bend over backwards to accommodate them. Doesn’t mean I love them more. I’m just more aware that their daily work life of 12 hours plus on their feet with no breaks and dealing with a lot of death and critical situations is far more tiring mentally and physically than the others. So if they need me to be somewhere specific then I’d be more inclined to meet their needs and would sublimate my own.

how can you not understand people and their experiences are different.

Maybe, as you’re good friends she’s closer to you than this other friend, and feels more comfortable to ask for what she needs i.e. staying close to home. Of course, you’re entitled to have your boundaries and needs too!

The reason I am annoyed by this is that I met her in the city centre one day last summer

So, although she asked if you could meet elsewhere, you did in fact still meet in the city centre. Therefore she made the same exception for you that she did for her other friend.

For all you know, she might have had exactly the same conversation with her other friend first that she had with you.

Therefore YABU.

You don't sound awkward at all! She sounds like a pain in the neck actually.

I can understand why you're not happy OP. The double standard would annoy me too. Not sure if I would say anything or just tuck away the information for a later date.

The friendship sounds dead or like it will naturally fade out, probably a good thing for both of you really

Sounds like maybe there are other things bothering you in the friendship? In a healthy friendship such a small thing as your friend going into town w another friend shouldn’t bother you.

people do different things at different times, and it’s not up to you to judge. I’d let it go, if it’s truly only about that small issue.