To feel like such a failure over my son's GCSEs?

No- I used to work as an administrator in a number of sectors (law, charities). But I gave up work for a bit when I became chronically ill and the cause could not be identified for a while. After a year or so my DCs school advertised for invigilators and I wanted to know what my own DS1 would be facing (he has a range of SEN) so I thought I would do it for a year. I am heading into my 4th year now! Our local authority jobs website advertises for invigilators as well for the state schools and I have seen other advertisements in our local paper jobs section.

Thinking of our invigilation team, I don't think very many are teachers or retired teachers. One is a retired dentist. One a former computer programmer. A former marketing director, etc.

If you think he's dyslexic get an assessment done ASAP - go private and then get the extra help in place that he may need

Surely he has to be in education at least till he's 18, meaning if he wants to do anything at college he will need to redo anything he fails required for that course

My DS didn't need any kind of official assessment

The school just accepted he was and that was that and they immediately put everything in place

State school

Lots of DC so badly in their mocks then work their arses off and end up doing well or at least pass their GCSEs

He just needs to come home and study for a few hours each day

Do all his homework and go through his notes and any lesson PowerPoints and extra work the teachers give him

Creating flash cards really helps too

How long has he being struggling for?
What has the senco about dyslexia?
Have you considered a private assessment?

If you can afford it I would get him private tutors for maths and English

My DS we discovered had mild dyslexia

I figured it out after getting him to read out loud to test his eyesite

As it turned out when he read words he read them sort letter by letter as opposed to the whole word

The school dismissed it initially as it had never been flagged because he was in the top 1%

Anyway they did test him and he is

All they could do after that is allow him to use a laptop in class and get extra time in his exams

If you haven't or if you have get onto the school SENCO - see if they can arrange assessments. If there's money look at private assessments as well.

If there's money - try maths and English language tutor if he can get up to a 4 in one ideally both opens doors.

Otherwise - with maths at least sit down and start on passed papers - or topics https://www.mathsdiy.com/wjec-gcse-numeracy-topic-booklets/ - workbooks for his exam board and paper you can often but on amazon - you tube video to explain concepts and past exam papers - questions. Brought DS and DD1 grades up that way.

I was late diagnosis as was DD1 - I was a reader still am but still struggle with spelling and reading accurately - brain auto corrects to what I expect - it's not what people expect from dyslexia. One of DD2 friends just got diagnosis in Y11 - her mother a teacher and been fobbed off for years.

Also start looking at local options - college - more practical options maybe - so he has options if he brings grades up or not next year. I think that why DN managed a 4 in English was she had option involving a resit along side a course and a preferred option without and she worked so she could do the preferred option quicker.

But are we saying that anyone who can’t pass GCSEs is therefore neurodivergent?

@SilverBlueRabbit are you / were you a teacher ?? It's something I would love to do but am not a teacher

Speak to the school
My DD had similar mock results and was overwhelmed. Seemed like she wasn’t trying but she just had too much to focus on.
Had a meeting with school and they let her drop 4 subjects so she only had 6 to concentrate on
She stayed at school all day still but was allowed to go into the library for some of the sessions she had nothing and at other times sat in the back of the classroom still but could do her own study.
She ended up with two 4s, two 5s, a 6 and a 7 which was way more than we had hoped for.
Even if the school won’t let him leave those lessons they can still agree not to enter him into all of the exams. That will take the pressure off immensely. It will also stop him having a certificate showing failures and will look better for the school too

I really love it. People think invigilating is about standing in a sports hall for 3 hours looking stern. But there is so much more to it. I also really like helping the students feel at ease. I might often have the same students for a number of exams so they often start off nervous about us scary invigilators and then you develop a bit of a rapport and they are happy to see a familiar face sitting next to them reading the questions out.

Honestly OP don’t worry about it

Im now 52 and from what I’ve seen the most successful people - personally and professionally- really weren’t necessarily the most academic at school !

I was thinking about this tbh this very morning before I read your thread !

I know someone who was VERY VERY academic high achiever but on a personal level she is a very sad bitter person in adulthood with virtually no good relationships etc etc

My son was exactly the same and those GCSE years ruined our relationship for some time. He then actually got given his GCSE results as it was 2020 and he was given a '3' in all subjects....considering they were supposed to be inflated I dread to think what he would have got if he'd actually sat them

I can't offer you any advice, only sympathy. What I can offer you is hope though, as he got an apprenticeship and 4 years later earns more than me (I have 2 degrees and a Masters 🙄)

Lots of good advice here but I just wanted to chip in to say you’re not the only one. I have a child like this and sometimes it feels so lonely because there is literally no one else we know in the same boat. I lie awake at night as well.

Try to get him assessed for dysgraphia as well as dyslexia - the inability to convert his speech/thoughts into written form really jumped out at me. He might be able to get a scribe for his exams.

@SilverBlueRabbit what a worthwhile and interesting role!!

I do exam invigilating and exclusively with the children who need exam access arrangements. I would recommend talking to the SENCO asap. Go private if you need for a dyslexia assessment. See what arrangements he might need- computer reader as you said- does he still have this? Ask your SENCO if they think he needs exam access arrangements and what evidence she / you can put together for the exam boards which will allow it.

As an example of what I do for the students who need it;

• read the questions to them
• have the students dictate their answers which I write down
• both
• they might have different coloured paper depending on their needs (commonly blue, off white or yellow)
• colour identifying for children who might be colour blind and who have to identify colours in- for example- geography

Good luck!

My son was clever but very lazy - we got an Oxford student tutor in for physics and maths - the 2 he struggled in most and ended up with 2As, 3Bss ( including the physics and maths) and 3Cs and only 1d - we lived in Oxford at the time which was handy. He seemed to flourish with a one to one. He went into an apprenticeship in Tech - which was one of his As - and has worked in tech ever since- good at the job, hated schoolwork

However this won't get round the fact if he's dyslexic so I would get this formally assessed asap

Get into school now and ask about access arrangements. His standardised test scores for maths and English over the high school years should shown if he has an issue ie below average.

If you can afford get him tested for dyslexia ASAP.

Make a plan with him that if gcse don't work out that he has a path to follow and routes he can choose. There's courses in maths and English at college that only require pass or fail.

I find bbc bitesize quite good and corbett maths - though might be more ni based

Get him to relevant watch you tube clips to revise and listen to good revision podcasts.

Record his revision so he can listen to it.

The "he speaks beautifully, but can't get it on paper" is what finally got a teacher to listen to me about DS - his verbal work was way ahead of his written work. Get school to, urgently, assess him for support in exams. You don't need an official diagnosis (in England anyway) to get laptops/extra time / readers/ scribes for GCSE's.

And then, yes, focus on maths, English, and maybe his favourite subjects, and see if you can get those to grade 4s.

Maybe doing badly in his mocks will give him the incentive to improve? I must admit I didn't put any effort into my mocks as they were 'just mocks' but I stepped up several gears before the actual exams and did fine. My son took the same view (although I didn't tell him that's what I'd done!) and exceeded all expectations in his GCSEs. It's not too late for your son to turn things around with support and encouragement.

For OT you either access via gp referral or find one privately, although they do not assess dyslexia/dyscalculia, but may offer strategies fir self organisation and the physical difficulties such as writing fatigue and processing. You need an Ed Psych or high level SENDCO for a diagnosis and to apply for extra time etc to JCQ and for it to be evidenced as a normal way of working.

Is it possible he got that low grades because it's mocks and he did not give a fuck?

I am in UK, and as far as I know, it should be fairly straightforward to arrange. I just looked at the NHS local health board for my area website and searched for OT services for children and there was an option to self refer.

@Vettrianofan can I ask if this is a UK option please?
How do you initiate this please ?