To feel like such a failure over my son's GCSEs?

One of my DC has this.

I don't think that is entirely fair @Oblomov24 . There may be many reasons why he has slipped through the cracks - not least that he may have been masking reasonably successfully until now when things start to go a bit haywire. And it may well be that he is simply not interested, not academic etc. Plus getting a diagnosis isn't that simple with waiting lists and everything going tits up with covid etc.

Point is, the OP has ideas now about the path forward. Which can only be a good thing.

I'm shocked that you haven't years ago got a diagnosis, and pushed the Senco for all the analysis, which would've resulted in him getting say extra support and at least more time in exams. He has been failed badly and that is a shame. There's not enough time for all this now. Please at least email the senco so it's in writing.

Don’t panic. It’s not just down to you to help boost these grades for the real thing.
Generally speaking most students will go up a grade from their mocks to the real thing.
I’m a teacher and I always say to my students that they can always get their GCSE’s another time but it’s the easiest time to get them in year 11.
Ask for extra time in the exams, it tends to take the pressure off the students and most students still don’t use that time but it calms what can be a stressful situation.
Students will improve on their exam skills too as there are some techniques to improve the marks gained in exams.
Ask him if he actually answered all the questions. Many students who lack confidence give up part the way through their exam but will try harder in the real thing.
There are college courses and routes to employment no matter what grades your son gets. That should be at the back of your mind, to take the pressure off yourself. You can only do what you can do. A bit of bribery is good if it works but if it doesn’t work then don’t tie yourself up in knots. Your family values will come through in the end.
Good luck for you both!

Schools can so their own assessments for access arrangements. You need to go through the school as they need to show ‘normal way of working’ to apply to AA even with a diagnosis. A laptop is only a nwow so would need to start ASAP. Most schools will not pay for a dyslexia assessment, so you can do it privately in order to get a diagnosis and the school may take that into account if there are speed scores below 85. Tbh it’s a bit late for GCSE’s now! But you can have a meeting asap.

My son is really struggling with getting motivated to do his GCSEs he's just started Year 10. Honestly it's like he couldn't care less about any of his subjects except for maths. He has ASD/ADHD and really struggles with English language. I've coughed up for some extra for weekly English lessons. I figure if we can get him over the line with English and Maths - at least he'll have some choices when he finishes school. Any of the other subjects will be a bonus!

Please please please remember that all children develop at different stages. He may just not be academic.... at this stage in his life. He can retake the essential GCSEs next year when he may have matured a little more. Just continue to give him ideas that you think might suit his character and remember that he's still young and needs time be supported and develop. There are lots more apprenticeships out there now. My son would not have passed any GCSEs had it not been for covid allowances. Now he's loving his life as a very well paid apprentice engineer.

The problem is you can't even get onto an apprenticeship without at least a maths and English grade 4 or above or equivalent

And the more sought after apprenticeship, s will require much better qualifications
A lot has changed in 20 years I left school in 1990 with some very mediocre GCSE,s and then failed my Alevels ,I also still to this day have never passed maths GCSE ,
However i had sufficient grades to do a project 2000 nursing diploma and qualified as a nurse in 1996
Nursing courses are now degree level my qualification, s wouldn't have got me on a course in this day and age.

Social aspects have made you believe that because he’s failed his GCSEs then he’ll do nothing in life and that’s what the schools want you to believe

I didn’t finish school and I ended up working in the music industry for over 20 years with huge artists and I loved it

My husband works in cyber security and also didn’t even finish college

We give our DCs a pound for a house point per term. My reaosning is that I had to be bribed to go to work (with a salary) so i did not see why they should not be as well!

Love the idea of going to all the plays as well.

Very best of luck OP. Talking to the SENCo is a great first step.

Mum of son with late diagnosis of ADHD who didn’t want to study at all. Things that helped (but were not appreciated at the time) included booking the all plays for English GCSE. My son had Macbeth, An Inspector Calls and King Lear. Dragged him to all of them, the visual aspect helped him understand them, didn’t do expensive west end shows just local theatres (around exam time the seats were packed with other students and their parents, even my son was surprised).
Found a Saturday school that covered science and maths.
Sat with him to revise in short bursts. Offered cash incentives for passing, I know not everyone agrees with this but it’s a language they understand and in the real world - working hard=reward.
He’s currently in his last year of A-Levels. It was such a stressful time, you have my sympathy, it was hell.
Also if you suspect he is dyslexic, approach the school to see if he qualifies for extra time. Good luck.

@ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat - the OP has said they have no diagnosis which is why I said to speak to the school. They have said that they are frustrated at lack of effort (which I get as in similar position) - you have no idea what I know about ND so you can get off your high horse about that one. I was offering empathy about frustration when a child is appearing to lack incentive.
OP I hope the school is sympathetic.

I am exactly the same- son doing lc in Ireland and failing everything because he doesn’t do anything. In pt meeting they all said ‘I don’t even know what to tell you now, we’re trying to get it through to him’. I was nearly crying listening to people talking about their sons doing medecine and engineering and was the only one there without my son with me. I felt sick.

We’ve eased him off screens lately by getting him out more but that’s still done nothing. I’ve always said as long as they’re happy healthy and good, maybe we should just be happy with that and I said it to one teacher and she said ‘look, he is a lovely guy, he’ll get a job somewhere off his personality and I’d guess he’ll work on and be fine’. It gave me something. I’ll obviously still be the nag but it isn’t everything in the very end (I have to believe that!)

My daughter was set to get 5s and 6s in all 8 GCSEs and she barely scraped three 4s in the end, yet some of her friends who weren't predicted to pass did very well in the end. I'm not saying you shouldn't worry but just that things don't always turn out how you expect them to and he might surprise you

he speaks beautifully but can't write it down!
He could have dysgraphia. Dysgraphia’ and ‘specific learning disorder in written expression’ are terms used to describe those individuals who, despite exposure to adequate instruction, demonstrate writing ability discordant with their cognitive level and age. Dysgraphia is a specific learning disorder in written expression referring to (a) the language-based difficulties involved in constructing meaningful and effectively structured expressive writing and (b) ongoing weaknesses in spelling and punctuation that affect a student's capacity to express their ideas with clarity.

Teaching assistant here. Go for a dyslexia assessment. Talk to the school about exam access arrangements'

• Maths: reader/scribe 25% extra time
• English: computer if he can type better then he can write; Reader for writing exams. or computer reader or reading pen 25% extra time for both (or 50% if they let him)
• Everything else reader or reading pen, scribe/computer 25% extra time
• Try coloured paper. If you find one that's easier for him, that colour for all exams

Look at dyslexia screening - although it's unlikely you'd get one done before the requests for access arrangements need to be finalised. The school can do them without.

No. But the OP queried a neurodivergence so the advice to shame, nag and bribe him into submission is rather short sighted.

I stand corrected. It appears to differ in what country within the UK you reside. Thanks @LIZS 😊

Wow, the school sound terrible tbh. Just bunging him a computer reader thing and not even telling you why 😵‍💫

FWIW I haven’t used my GCSEs since I did them and have a career I absolutely adore and a perfect home life. It’s not the end of the world!

Utter rubbish.

Like these

You can buy flash cards for most of the books for the relevant exam board

DD asked me to get her a maths tutor after her mocks which I did

The tutor was great and DD went up a couple of grades which we were delighted about

The tutor asked DD what she wanted to work on and took it from there. They'd have the lesson online or face to face and she'd bring in worksheets for her to work on

For maths get him to do as many past papers as possible

For English he needs to work on each main character in the books. He can find what he needs online with regards to that and everything else he needs