To not really care if I wake up tomorrow

I do 'wellness' @Olive567 . I'm a member of a club with lots of wellness things, go to meditation classes, yoga, swim, sound baths, all that sort of stuff but it feels like going through the motions. I cba to do it alone/under my own steam at home. Useful when I was stressed in a MRI scanner last month though.

I think @FutureFeelsBleak gets what I mean. I'm a single parent to two young adults who 'need' me much less but still need a home, support - emotional, financial and other. That 'need' keeps me in a senior, well paid job in a toxic environment that I've come to hate. I've been looking for another job for a year - ageism seems to be real.

Maybe if I got another job I would feel differently.

I cba with socialising much either right now so that's different to the OP I guess.

Have you tried exploring meditation? I'm struck by your emphasis on 'doing' and 'achieving', which is what our society values after all. But maybe as we get older there is a shift from doing to 'being' - with all the potential opportunities and richness this offers.
Alan Watts on Zen is entertaining.

Am also done at 60. I seem to be both invisible, and found to be lacking by those around me.

For me there is something deep rooted about how the roles society see fit for us at this age - carer, grandmother etc don't always fit us, especially when we are likely to be working until 67.

Do you still work OP? I'm your age and I feel similar to how you describe about work. I go to work, do my job but most of the time Im thinking I genuinely can't be bothered by this. I feel like it's a constant repeat of the last thirty years and I really can't see the point, other than it funds my lifestyle 🙂im very senior but no one would really notice if I left. In a general life sense I don't feel like I'm done but I'm getting increasingly twitchy because my parents are elderly and their health is failing. Caring for older relatives sucks the joy from life because it's physically and emotionally draining and usually you do it at a time when you're older and more knackered yourself. It also represents a time of transition and that can be exhausting too. It's very easy to get stuck in a routine too. Do you feel a massive shake up would shift your thinking? Something that would alter the dynamic of the routine you have? Maybe you should adopt Eleanor R' do something every day that scares you? And see what happens.

I feel the same OP, mid fifties. I have been wondering about burn out.

I'd hate to grow really old and have no quality of life. My elderly father hasn't left the house for a year apart from hospital visits and appointments. I would hate that.

I can understand how you feel and will probably feel like that myself in years to come. Not yet though, I'm still at the active parenting stage and will be for a while yet. So don't want to go anytime soon.

If only when we want to, we could just slip away like that; no debilitating treatments or diseases to go through. Thinking of how relatives have passed, that would be a dream! Only when you're absolutely ready though, not before.

Your job is not done; you owe it to yourself to seek contentment and fulfilment. You can still grow and learn new stuff. You need to reignite your curiosity.

I'm 39 and often think alike.
I need a lot of stimulus and adventures to feel "alive". So many things by now I've tried and I'm done, most have lost the shine of their newness, many don't seem as exciting anymore.
I lived a colourful and risky, and fun life from my teens into my mid 30s... I feel like I was drunk&high on life but I have developed a tolerance now. Nothing hits the same.

I still take on more challenges than most but I don't have the same fire inside. I'm slowly heading towards "going through the motions" kind of life. I have enough stories to last a lifetime and I think I'm done.

I'm DIY rebuilding a rotten house and I have a child to bring to adulthood. With those two done, my bucket list is empty. I'm not depressed, I'm at peace.

Wow! I'm 65 - retirement age here - and I feel like my life is just beginning. No more having to work pointless jobs, ever, that's more than enough to make me want to keep waking up.

I have no partner, no children, no parents, no siblings, my last cat recently died, no really close friends, and yet I am happy and want to carry on for as long as possible. I really can't imagine feeling "done" at 63.

Maybe this is why I’m feeling low - my mum has cancer and probably dementia and I’m running to the hospital almost every day. Feels like I’ve no life left. When her mum was in failing health she was in her 40s. I’m 65 and have health issues of my own and other family problems. It’s all too much. I just want it to stop.

I know you mean well but really you can’t say that with any certainty. I’m quite sure most of my family would barely miss a step if I disappeared tomorrow. Everyone is so busy with their own lives, work, children, partners, friends. Ancient parents are at best handy babysitters once in a while and at worst a bloody drag on one’s time and energy. But most of the time just …nothing.

Thought-provoking post, this. I suspect more people than would admit it are busy trying to ignore the uncomfortable truth OP has stated. Maybe a lot of people live in the past for that reason.

I’ve heard much, much older people say ‘yup, that’ll do’ but I’m twenty years younger than you OP and I sort of feel the first murmuring of what you’ve written. Not close to the same ‘I’m done’ feeling, more like knowing I will be done. Like being a very realistic android who knows my obsolescence is pre-programmed.

Unlike you I feel I could have done more with my life so far. Then again, I’ve achieved a lot compared to many. None of us have had to worry where our next meal is coming from, I married a decent man and have fantastic kids. I do often think ‘these are the good old days.’ I try to be aware of my own luck and cherish the moment when I’m not stressed to buggery. And to remember the line ‘too much fucking perspective.’ (Spinal Tap) 😂

Here’s some things I’d like to know, though - could you see a point to or benefit in not feeling this way? And - do you believe your life could still be enrichable (not even a word, is it) by some renewed purpose? Or even struggle?

Please seek some help. It's not normal to feel this way at your age. You potentially have decades ahead of you.

Some people evidently do. You don't. How is your post in any way helpful?

This post made me really sad. my dad is older than you. maybe he feels this way. i live a distance from my parents and dont rely on them for financial or other support so they may think they have lived their full lives having raised children who are now independant with children of their own, but i'll be truly broken the day i have to say goodbye to either one of them and although i know i'll pick myself up, i am also sure that life would never be the same again. I just wana give my dad a huge hug right now.

I feel exactly the same and have done for a few years.

I can totally relate to this - I’m 60 and not at all depressed - I do have a lot of other health issues and a very stressful job which just means I’m exhausted all the time! I do enjoy life but if I went to sleep tonight and didn’t wake up that would also be ok!
I’m done! I’ve been an amazing daughter, wife and mother but if I died tonight whilst I know my DC would be devastated I would leave them financial security I’ve never known and I would never be a burden to them like my elderly DM with dementia is to me
I am just tired with life

but does anyone feel like me?

Nope

Why are you posting this

Is there anything you’ve always wanted to try? Are you growing or building anything?

I’ll be honest, I don’t volunteer anymore. One organization I volunteered with was very strict and I realized…they’re not grateful for me they’re treating the volunteer program almost like a hindrance. I grew up Catholic and was always told ‘think of others first’ which drained me and left me empty. Now I acknowledge that it’s ok to want to have fun. It’s ok to have a weekend where I’m not sacrificing something for my family or volunteering. I’m younger than you are, I still work etc, but I just have accepted I can take time for me and take on small projects I’m interested in.

I do things like try to grow plants that aren’t right for the climate. I got a cotton plant to grow in an old takeaway coffee cup and kept it alive for over a year, it actually produced one boll and a few seeds before dying. I tried Dungeons and Dragons (not for me) and improv (kind of for me). I measured my friend’s dog today and am going to start knitting a sweater for him tonight or tomorrow. I still like making and building things, that’s what keeps me excited to wake up. Not my job or commitments for things I feel like I ‘have’ to do.

It’s good to live in acceptance, and a lot of people fight aging instead of dealing with it. But you can still try out a hobby and feel excited about making or building something. You don’t have to stop being excited about things, even small things. You can try something you’ve always wanted to try even if it’s silly to other people.

I understand what you’re saying, OP. My children are still teenagers so I need to be around for several more years, plus my elderly Dad needs support. But once they don’t need me anymore, I don’t feel the need to be around for decades.

I’m not comfortable with this feeling though, so I’ve made a plan to do something different with my life over the next decade (only shared it with DH). I think that I need a new challenge tbh.

Your post is really interesting; thank you for putting your feelings into words.
Out of interest, how old is your granddaughter and you said you’d had a good marriage, are you still married?
I’m wondering about grief… or maybe loss is a better way of saying it... The loss of being a mother to young children maybe; the loss of youth? When someone I loved dearly died, I felt like the world lost all of its colour and I really felt that there was nothing to look forward to anymore. I was living but not getting excited or looking forward to stuff or working for stuff. It may not be grief or loss related, but I thought I would mention.

Also, I was a thinking about David Attenborough…. he seems (it may be my fantasy about him) to be curious and excited and learning and to be exploring in his nineties. I have this fantasy in my mind that he would love another twenty years to keep doing what he is passionate about! What have been your passions in the past, maybe when you were 5 or 15 years old? Languages/music/dance/evolution/art…? I wonder if you can remember the little girl you were and what she was excited about and curious about? She will still be there inside you

Same. I’m 51, childless, gripped in perimenopause, just feel like a pointless person. Yes, I am on HRT. The thought of working until I am 67 makes me want to howl

Existential crisis, but yeah...to go back to my first post then :)
I am not a professional so I do feel a bit of uncomfort reading your last sentence, it does have this underlying sadness or some feeling of emptiness behind it - can't put my finger on it. I'd still recommend talking to a professional (again, not reading into anything, it's just a well-meaning suggestion).

I feel the same OP and I’m only mid forties! I’m pretty sure the arrival of my granddaughter earlier this year has at some level made me feel ‘mission complete’- I mean, I feel my job as as human is done now, my genes are passed on successfully and at the bare bones of it that’s what we are biologically here to do. I’m definitely not depressed and feel more a contentedness that if I was to die, it wouldn’t really matter in the great scheme of things.