Upset husband

It's not unreasonable for a husband to send a long text berating their spouse because they didn't prioritise his dinner over their 3 children?

He's an adult right?

Seriously? He sounds like an arse. I could tell my husband "it's bean on toast tonight because I can't be arsed" and he'd say "no bother babe. Can I have some cheese on mine?".

The op made a roast chicken, salad, pitta and offered to make potatoes as well? Surely potatoes, chicken, bread and salad (protein, 2 carbs and veg) is fine even when you've got a fairly manual job? I'm assuming he isn't a sherpa or professional athlete or something that requires 10k calories? It sounded like it was more that he didn't fancy it...which is acting like a child. We can't all have our favourite dinners every night. And sending someone messages berating them when they have done something for you, isn't great

I would be disappointed too if dinner was basically a chicken sandwich after a 14 hour day at work.

Are you out from the early hours until 7pm doing a hard manual labour job with little to no time to eat during the day? :-)

To be fair chicken, salad & pitta isn’t an evening meal, it’s a sandwich. Especially if he has an active job & long hours, that wouldn’t be a substantial enough meal for a night time.

For busy days I usually use the slow cooker, chilli/bolognese/curry/mince & dumplings/casserole, pop it all in on a morning and then it’s ready for dinner, and will be kept hot until he eats his if that’s later on

Well.....if I had 3 children and my DH told me that making his dinner should be my priority then...well I don't know, I just wouldn't be with that kind of guy.

It's not the norm I guess but I never make dinner for my husband, he and I like different things and eat at different times so we sort it out ourselves. You sound like you are in a marriage from the 50's so I guess you need to question whether you're ok with that.

Also...again if my DH ever sent me a text 'berating me' and blamed me for his bad choices - I'd be a happily single mum soon enough.

I also wouldn’t be moaning it was such a busy and long day. If that’s busy I envy her. And to avoid it she could do some forward planning.

It’s an entirely normal meal in our house,

You do 🤣 a proper tea. Chicken salad and pitta is hardly cooking a proper meal, don’t be so dense. It’d be 1/3 of a meal deal in some places.

Eh? You said you could do what the OP did and still make tea. I was confused because that’s exactly what the OP did… make tea. So no, I don’t know what you meant.

If you're cooking dinners all the other nights and this was a one off as you were busy then this is bang out of order. I also would class pittas as a 'proper' dinner.

If he normally acts like a man child I would be livid and having a serious talk however if he is normally kind and you think he might just be having a bad day id wait for it to blow over and see if he apologizes tomorrow.

OK he works long hours and you have presumably decided between you that it makes sense for you to be a SAHM which usually means you will do the lions share of domestic chores including cooking dinner BUT....

He was very upset about dinner and made a big deal out of it and sent a long text berating me.

...said I should be thinking about him as he does not get to eat well in day duty to work.

I offered to put some potatoes on for him but he said no and has come in with fish and chips and said it’s my fault he is eating badly.

He thinks he can "tell you off" for not doing what he thinks you should, refuse your suggestions to bulk out the dinner and blame you for his poor choices. You cooked dinner, he wasn't satisfied.

I would talk to him and try to keep my cool but it would be a challenge not to tell him to fuck off and sort his own dinner out in future. He's being disrespectful because he brings in the money and thinks you should wait on him but he's not showing any appreciation for the work you do.

I can't imagine my DH ever speaking to me like that. My DH is also up at 5am for work and gets home any time between 4 and 6pm. I work full time but work from home so I do the majority of the housework, cooking and school runs. He is always grateful for anything I serve to him on a plate and he always calls me on his way home so I know when to expect him. I'm never questioned about what I've done with my day. If he comes home and the house is a riot because I've had a busy day at work he'll come in and start tidying, but he'd never make a comment about it or accuse me of not doing enough. He tells me often how much he appreciates everything I do.

She did make tea. Chicken, salad and pitta.

How did his mum staying get arranged? perhaps you should say in the future you need to check with me as times when there is a lot on, I can’t always handle something extra, we can’t not get a tree, you’re not offering to get the dc Christmas presents, and there’s no flex in your expectations of a meal, the housework all has to get done; so I just can’t manage anything else: I’m human too you know.

people are being very understanding but I don’t care that he’s hangry, he needs to think I don’t message my wife like that.

He's being quite fussy, but my dh would've wanted rice or pasta with that. I always keep a pack of uncle bens savoury rice or tortellini in the fridge to bulk up a meal if I'm in a hurry.

I’m sorry OP but I could do what you did and go to work and then make tea still. I think MN overeggs the SAHM role. A manual job all day all week obviously is harder.

So he could have had boiled potatoes with his chicken and veg instead of salad/bread...

And instead of simply saying 'i'd rather have something a bit more filling, could you put some potatoes on for me, I'll be home at 7' he berates you via lengthy text?

He's a twatman.

He is expecting you to predict what he will want to eat AND when he will want to eat it, on top of everything else you do all day.

Only you know if you have the time to meet his expectations and whether you think they're reasonable or not, we don't live your life.

But he sounds like a complete bell-end to me.

Ask him to fill out a menu card at teh start of each week and provide the times he will be home.

Oh and if he is eating crap food at work, whose fault is that? He could take healthy stuff with him surely.

Yes, that was definitely not his finest hour. Visitors are exhausting, let alone Christmas.

If it’s truly the ‘heat of the moment’ then I’m sure he will apologise, for both the utter rudeness and for not offering to get anyone else chips. Of course, there’s a chance that he genuinely expects the op to provide a full ‘man meal’ to his standard every working day, whatever is going on in hers. If that’s the case, it needs to be talked about now, because how the op’s husband has spoken to her is unacceptable. It is important they appreciate each other, which from the snapshot of the op doesn’t seem to be mutually the case.