Upset husband

I think your husband is out of order. You had chicken ready for tea. You offered to put potatoes in for him, which is quite a good tea to come home to. If he doesn't like what you're making then ask him what he would like & if you've not got time to make it for him ask him to stop off on his way home to pick something up or order a take away.

Yeah I do have kids, but if they're primary age it takes twice as long to do anything. Did OP say she had 3?

are you a parent? Because thinking cooking dinner means you aren’t seeing your children makes it sound like you’re not.

I get both sides. You've had a busy day running about, he's had more of a busy one. Doing manual work for that amount of time you want a 'proper dinner' when you come home, not what you made I guess? You probably already know this so maybe have some extras frozen to heat up and add? On the other hand, manual labour doesn't mean full on the whole time, there can be waiting about about periods, breaks of course and usually places to get food from nearby?

Also depends on age of DC, when young they're full on when you have to take them everywhere with you, but if at school, nursery, then more free time. X

He was unreasonable, probably because he was hungry .
you had a busy day and there is nothing wrong with a chicken , salad and pitta bread dinner .
Maybe you could keep some pudding in the fridge / freezer for him ?
I see he dislikes jacket potatoes?
of keep potato croquettes in the freezer to bulk out a dinner that he considers to be not very substantial

He could have had it with some chips or hot buttered toast and a mug of tea? He's complaining about his health, he's the one who turned his nose up at lean protein and greens in favour of a chippy

You should ALL have had fish and chips. He was thinking about a hot dinner whilst not appreciating you'd had a crazy day. I find talking to DH on Sunday about things in the coming week means we can discuss when a takeout is needed!

Mine said he'd be happy to cook last night but I was sceptical as we both had a crazy amount on yesterday. We both got home half an hour later than planned and agreed takeout within minutes 😂. So it doesn't always go to plan...

Chicken and salad probably aren't great in December when it's wet and cold out. He shouldn't take that out on you though.

@TSMWEL totally agree- my ex H was a miner and might have said , could you do me some chips on top but he certainly wouldn't have sent me snotty messages, - he might have said 'you know what, I fancy the chippy'- certainly wouldn't have made a big deal of it- can only think some of these women are utter doormats /trainee stepford wives.

And all the women being told to slow cooker stews every day - I myself wouldn't want that most days so would end up cooking2 meals.

Plenty of people are capable of cooking and being with school aged children. Presumably his DW has managed it just fine all these years.

He could. But then when would he see the kids?

Why can't he batch cook for the freezer?

Maybe he could take the kids over the weekend and give you time to batch cook some meals for the freezer?

Yes, exactly.

Have you got a slow cooker these are great for busy days meat veg potatoes lovely stew for when you get home x

This is why I could never be a SAHM, if my husband started talking to me like he was my boss, it would kill my love for him in a heartbeat. The way he spoke to you was completely unreasonable and I'd expect an apology and then an adult conversation as equals.

Berating you and asking what you had been doing all day as if you were being idle wouldn’t be acceptable to me either, especially if that’s a normal reaction from him.

Chicken, salad and bread is a nutritious meal as is Chicken, salad and potatoes.

You both work hard in a long day. and it sounds as if you value each others contribution on a day to day basis.
I think the problem arose because he looks forward to (and has become used to) a lovely hot meal when he gets home from his long, hard-labour day especially if it’s winter time. He couldn’t contain his disappointment and took it out on you. Maybe he’d picked up a chicken salad sandwich during the day so was doubly disappointed.
YANBU to feel a bit put out by his reaction.
I hope you can talk about it and I hope he apologises.

I think you are doing a brilliant job. Does your husband manage to eat during the day? It is important for him to keep topping up his energy levels with decent food rather than get home angry and ravenous. The long berating text makes me glad I don't do mobile. Best wishes for Christmas.

I would push back on this. If he wants something specific he can make it himself. If not then he accepts what's made for him.

I do all cooking in our house in the week. Occasionally dh will not fancy what I've made (eg if he had similar at dinner) He will make himself something different and pop his tea in freezer for another day.

I'll weigh in. I work ft as does DH so not the same but DH does manual work and I don't. If I'd made the same tea I'd have offered potatoes or rice (micro rice) to bulk out DH meal, which he'd have accepted as perfectly fine.

OP has clearly stated that her "d"h refused potatoes and won't let her make microwave rice as it's not considered "home cooked" THEN went and got a take away and blamed her for his shit diet.

It's really not about her not using the slow cooker or thinking that getting a tree down and going on a dog walk is a busy day.

He's an arse.

Your husband is an utter BELLEND

Having a fucking hissy fit cos he didn't like his dinner. Regardless of what hours he works how dare he be so rude and entitled.
Twat

I think the real issue here is the way he berated you, that's completely unacceptable. Maybe he didn't fancy the dinner you cooked - fine. But he doesn't get to belittle you and make you feel this way. The dinner isn't important, it could have been anything he wasn't happy about but he needs to apologise for the way he disrespected you.

How would your husband cope if you were away, or if he were single? He’d just have to get his own dinner wouldn’t he? Presumably every other night dinner meets his requirements so I think he can let this one occasion go and be grateful that even after you’ve both had a busy day you’ve still managed to sort out some dinner for him. I don’t know what planet he thinks he’s living on to be honest to give you grief about it

@Nanny0gg indeed- quite clearly this thread is sponsored by Good Housekeeping !! If the bloke had time to go to the chippy - then it wouldn't have hurt to have hung on For OP to make some chips or rice or something similar if needs be-he was doing it to make a point and be an arse.

He's tired. Ur tired.
Tomorrow is a new day.

You did nothing wrong. I assume you made enough so that he could eat his fill? Sounds like he hadn't even seen it before he kicked off. I mean, he had carbs, protein and veggies, surely if one pitta isn't enough he has a second. Or accepts the spuds you offered. Or just get the chips to go with what is essentially just a chicken kebab anyway. Surely that would have satisfied his stodge craving.

It just sounds like he was hangry and had a tantrum because he didn't fancy what you had made. Why isn't he eating any lunch? Surely he can manage something during the day to prevent another meltdown? Maybe send him with a chicken pitta bread wrapped in foil tomorrow for lunch on the go!