To worry about a stay and play?

@Blondeshavemorefun how would that work?
Seriously?

She'll have to be in public eventually. You can't shield her forever. This is a you issue, and you should work on it for her sake.

Your thinking does not sound healthy.

I think it’s bad form to allow strangers, with no dsb check into the vicinity of other children

But if you went - you would be one of those people with no dbs mingling with the children.

All a DBS means it's that someone has no convictions deemed to identify a direct risk to children. If you think that's a great safeguard you're wrong.
This scenario would cause be no concern at the same staff you trust every day, will be there. You either trust them to safeguard her or you don't. They but going to allow your daughter to go off with another adult. They will also likely all be in the same room, so I'm not sure what risk you think is present. Unless you think someone will sexually assault your child in front of 25 children and adults.

If you really feel this way remove your child from nursery with immediate effect. If the nursery staff are so incapable that they can't protect your child from harm from a few adults who probably know most things that would harm your child, and would want to actively avoid her coming to harm, it's really questionable whether they could protect her from other kids who are quite likely to do harmful stuff that they don't even understand is harmful. There's far, far more likely to be a toddler in her nursery who a) uses biting or hitting against another toddler who's pissed them off, and b) manages to do it without staff noticing, than a parent who a) wants to harm you child and b) manages to steal her away from in from all the staff and parents without anyone noticing.

Have you been to a stay and play before?
I went to one this week and have been to many before. It's literally normal nursery with the usual staff present engaging with the children, and the parents there are going around and playing with their own children at various play stations that have been set up. Your child will be safe. It's also the nursery's responsibility to ensure the children are still safe and cared for during stay and plays. The staff are still alert. Your child will be fine and probably won't notice any different. X

None of these people will be left unsupervised with your child, nor will they want to as they're there to play with their own children, not yours.

The parents who are present will play with their children., leaving the staff to focus on your child and the others who don’t have a parent present.

I don't think our nursery has stay and plays but they have parents in reading and talking about careers and stuff. I've done that myself. Didn't occur to me that these things were risky tbh.

So other parents should miss out on a lovely opportunity to see their child in the place they leave them for hours each week, just because you can't attend? You realise the nursery staff aren't going to up and leave the other parents to run the place? You need to get a grip.
Or can you invite a grandparent/aunt/uncle/friend to buy your child's supervisor for the session.

I hosted a toddler stay and play session at my nursery today. All but one child had a parent there. The child who didn’t have a parent joined in the activities with the staff. He wasn’t left alone to mingle with the parents. All of the parents were focused on their own children. No one was allowed to use their mobile phone (if photos etc concern you). I had 3 other members of staff in the room with me and everyone was safe. Im sure your nursery are well practiced at running these events and no one coming to any harm!

when she can communicate properly it’s different. I think it’s bad form to allow strangers, with no dsb check into the vicinity of other children

Swimming pools
Soft play
Parks
Sports centres
Supermarkets

The list goes on.

She doesn't have you there but has the nursery staff who are in loco parentis there.

Children are around strange adults in public places all the time.

People have been hard on you. I have seen a baby in nursery greeted by an older child who’d come in to the baby room with mum to collect a sibling and who picked the baby up and dropped it on its head to the floor. However in a nursery setting with such a young child, I doubt that anyone other than parents/ grandparents will attend and the staff ought to pay close attention to children not attended by relatives. Mention your concerns to them and seek reassurance.

I think you need to see a GP for your anxiety. Seriously, not said in jest. This is not a normal reaction.

Nursery workers are DBS checked but that hasn't stopped them being paedophiles or killing a child. Assuming you trust the nursery you should trust the staff to safely care for your daughter, regardless of who is in attendance. If you don't trust them that's a whole other problem.

I regularly interact with other children at my childs nursery at drop off and pick up, or birthday parties. I know them all by name. Just yesterday at pickup they were all telling me about their day, they all know who I am. Its lovely. I am actually DBS checked for work anyway. But even if I wasnt. I'm a parent, same as other parents are at your nursery stay and play. If they can't be trusted in the same room as your child with other qualified adults present then they sure as hell shouldn't be home alone with their own kids! I honestly cant fathom what you think will happen.

A DBS check means an adult can be with a child alone (and has to be done through the nursery or school it's relevant to, they aren't portable). You can have non dbs adults around children if they are supervised. So for example I have had parents helping on trips without a db's and they've just stayed in a group with a school adult.

Your child will be supervised as they normally would by the adults in the nursery. The other adults are just parents who will be playing with their own children. If anything your child will have closer supervision from the adults at the nursery as they will have less children to watch!

You might often have prospective parents in a nursery or I spent a lot of time in settling in sessions in the first few weeks without a dbs for that setting.

Why? There will still be the same staff caring for your child.

Do you think children are at risk when being cared for by a nanny or childminder in public? Is there a chance you’re projecting your feelings about not being able to go into an issue that doesn’t exist?

The few stay and plays I went to only had 3 or 4 parents there anyway, from about 12ish kids that attended that day.

Things like this are part of what nurseries have to offer to be seen by OFSTED as promoting positive relationships with parents. Think what you like about that, but inviting parents to be involved with things like this is usually seen as good practice.

I went to a stay and play at dd's nursery last week and it was a lovely experience. It was great to see where she goes everyday and meet her friends. I
I'm really not sure why you think it's unacceptable. Genuinely what do you think is going to happen in 30 mins with a class full of staff and parents? Really dont understand your concerns, I think you're massively overthinking and perhaps projecting guilt that you cant go.

Aren't the strangers in the room parents of the other children?

You realise that when you looked round as a prospective parent, you were the stranger in the room with no DBS? But it was fine, because you were under the supervision of staff, same as when a stay and play happens.

When you enrolled your child at nursery you did so on the basis that they would act in loco parentis.

I’d find it odd too since usually people send children to nursery for childcare but you have nothing to worry about. The children won’t be left unsupervised with any of the parents.