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AIBU?

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Original poster

To worry about a stay and play?

115 replies

User100028 · 11/12/2024 19:20

I can’t make Dd’s stay and play tomorrow. I am worrying a lot that other adults are going to be in a room with my child who I have never met and have no reason to trust. My dd is only 2 so won’t be able to tell me anything. I’m also worried she will feel left out as a child there without her parents as we are working. I don’t understand why these things are acceptable? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Edingril · 12/12/2024 06:18

You need professional help, i doubt this is the only neurotic thing you worry about

I presume you are also in the same room at times with other people children that you could harm yourself and the children's parents could be paranoid about you

SaagAloopa · 12/12/2024 06:17

You won't be the only one working. It's part of working parent life unfortunately.

purpleme12 · 12/12/2024 06:15

So on the one hand it sounds like you'd go to it if you had a free day and let's not forget if you did that, YOU would be the stranger mixing in the same room as other children - yet you're here complaining that the others are strangers mixing with your child and that's wrong.

Make up your mind!

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 12/12/2024 05:58

I think it's incredibly selfish of you that, in effect, you'd stop stay and play for other children because of your diary commitments.

MsCactus · 11/12/2024 22:46

Nannies and childminders take kids out to the park, to playgroups etc... frankly it's odd your nursery never take the kids out so they never interact with other adults.

FloralGums · 11/12/2024 22:43

YABVVU

Vgbeat · 11/12/2024 22:41

Hesonlyakidharry · 11/12/2024 22:33

You really need to unclench. First child? You’re going to have to loosen up a bit if you’re going to survive parenting.

This was almost word for word what I thought

Vgbeat · 11/12/2024 22:40

I really think you are over thinking. Staff are normally even more vigilant in situations like these, you might find they put children with a parent in one area and those without in another with staff.

AngelontopoftheTree · 11/12/2024 22:34

The irony is strong on this one.

Hesonlyakidharry · 11/12/2024 22:33

You really need to unclench. First child? You’re going to have to loosen up a bit if you’re going to survive parenting.

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 11/12/2024 22:26

Hate to shock OP but there are dbs checked abusers plus people in power who can abuse. Think police. ICU nurses.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 11/12/2024 22:22

Not normal

Londonrach1 · 11/12/2024 22:20

Op you either trust the staff or don't. Yabu and tbh Abit controlling.

Samcro · 11/12/2024 21:51

I need to go to specsavers, I read the thread title as stag and play !!!

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 11/12/2024 21:44

OP, if this is your thought process now you've got some stressful years ahead.

youngoldthing · 11/12/2024 21:15

OP you’re over reacting.

if you fear for the safety of your kid then remove them from the nursery.

Barney16 · 11/12/2024 21:15

Don't worry OP. The parents will be with their own child and your child will be looked after by the staff. The staff won't let another parent do anything to her. If you have been really worried about this you should have asked to speak to the Nursery Manager or the Room leader and asked for reassurance. It would have been better to get a full picture of how the session works rather than getting upset.

doodleschnoodle · 11/12/2024 21:12

It's quite common to have parent helpers with no DBS checks help out at children's activities and groups. They aren't alone with the children at any time and are always with DBS checked adults in the room too. We use parent helpers like this all the time for Girlguiding, we have a rota!

But back to the nursery thing, this wouldn't even cross my mind. Stay and plays are in the nursery room as usual presumably where all the staff will also be. I've done them plenty of times for my two and the kids without parents there are usually in a separate section with staff anyway.

napody · 11/12/2024 21:09

SometimesCalmPerson · 11/12/2024 19:30

You realise that when you looked round as a prospective parent, you were the stranger in the room with no DBS? But it was fine, because you were under the supervision of staff, same as when a stay and play happens.

Show quote history

This might be my favourite mumsnet comment of all time.

Pandasnacks · 11/12/2024 21:05

You are being daft. And that DBS doesn't give your child a magic shield anyway. She's supervised by safe adults.

FantasiaTurquoise · 11/12/2024 21:03

These are completely standard for nurseries. Most parents won't be able to make it, and those who do just want to spend a bit of time with their child and see what they're like at nursery. Your child is still under their care and all of their safeguarding policies and procedures will apply - all the more so when there are adults around.

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/12/2024 20:54

Needmorelego · 11/12/2024 20:43

@Blondeshavemorefun oops sorry - I didn't realise you were quoting the OP 🙂

Edited

I did wonder lol

No probs 😄

LadyKenya · 11/12/2024 20:44

OnlySlightly · 11/12/2024 19:55

The parents who are present will play with their children., leaving the staff to focus on your child and the others who don’t have a parent present.

This. People tend to only focus on their own children, in general.

Needmorelego · 11/12/2024 20:43

@Blondeshavemorefun oops sorry - I didn't realise you were quoting the OP 🙂

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/12/2024 20:42

Needmorelego · 11/12/2024 20:36

@Blondeshavemorefun how would that work?
Seriously?

???

Parents stay for a cuppa/play and chat to other parents

Op is a little ott- her child and others in the setting will be looked after By the staff

Nothing is going to happen to them

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