AIBU to still be annoyed about my oxbridge rejection years later?

I get it, it’s the lack of opportunity and knowledge when you was at an age when you should have had support and direction to guide you to the opportunity, it’s the rejection of chances.

Similar background and I still feel angry now sometimes, and I’m twice your age.

Despite that you’ve done amazingly well by the sounds of it, it’ll always bug you but you could always apply now?

I'm interested in business instead of academia

Why would you actually want to go to Oxbridge? These unis are not well suited to people who are more interested in business than studying. It sounds like you just want an Oxbridge degree so you can tell people you have an Oxbridge degree.

I don’t see the point in being bitter about the past. Focus on the present and the future.

"I'm also intelligent yet haven't got anywhere in life and am a single mum on the breadline"

How intelligent?

As others have said, you could've applied with grades in hand, you could've applied for a master's or PHD. You clearly have a talent, as you have done well. But perhaps you have realised it really wasn't necessary to achieve your goals.

Would love to know where you ended up, what you studied, and what you do now.

people who frame things positively and look forward tend to be happier and more successful.

There’s also the fact that the high pressure Oxbridge environment is not the best place for someone who’s got poor mental health already, unfortunately. If you had applied and gone there at a stage in your life where you were vulnerable and unsure of yourself, it might have been a very bad experience. Clever people can find it hard to be surrounded by other people who are all just as clever and seem more confident, and sadly some of them really struggle as a result, particularly if they don’t happen to find a supportive college or friendship group.

People bring it up that you didn't go to Oxbridge? Really? Never heard of this. You have a completely pointless chip on your shoulder.

It would not be amazing. It would be quite a few steps backwards.

With respect to the OP, I am not sure if he or she understands the process of applying to a university.

OP, the premise of your OP is false because you weren’t rejected. You didn’t apply to go there.

OK?

I feel like you think that going would have solved all your issues, when in reality it very likely wouldn't at all. Maybe it would have papered over the cracks, but I don't think it would have been a resolution to your childhood trauma. You need to go to counselling. There is absolutely nothing stopping you from going to university now. You have the money, if you want to do it, you can.

At that time, because of confidence and your mental health, you were unable to put forward your application, through no fault of your own. Thankfully it hasn't changed the success that you achieved and now you have a bright future ahead.
Does it help to just reframe the it slightly in that way OP? I am full of regrets and it's self torture really so I do feel for you but, kindly, it's done, you can't go back, you can only move forward. You don't want to do further study so it would be best for you to find a way to make peace with this and move on.

This. Better to do it with a million under your belt! Mature students get more out of it as they really appreciate the opportunity. It'd be amazing- do it OP!

I think it just shows how overrated and romanticised Oxbridge is.

Having a million quid and being pissed re Oxbridge is like getting the new car of your dreams but being pissed that you found a stray post-it note on the floor of it.

This is why private school and elitist routes into Oxbridge are so weighted, unfair and who knows how many bright but similarly disadvantaged children miss out on their potential… so depressing for those of us on the wrong side of the tracks. 😔

Well done on your good fortune though!

I think it’s safe to say many people from a working class background sees things very differently to you.

Perhaps you could spend some of your cool mill on therapy for that victim complex.

Life is made up of the choices we make, and generally we make the ones we think are right for us at the time when we are faced with them. No point regretting not making different choices in the past, for one you can't change the past, and secondly, you don't know if that would have been the right choice for you anyway. I went to Oxbridge, from a non-rich, ordinary state school background. It was fine. It was a lot of work and I may have had more fun elsewhere, but I will never know because I made a choice not to go those places. It has not defined my life post-university in any way. I think you are over-idealising the effect it might have had on your life. You are still young and as you get older, you will make many more choices to follow a certain path or not. Don't waste your life dwelling on the other choices, but focus on the ones you make.

OP you don't seem to understand what is meant be a uni application/rejection.
You don't seem to understand what a decade is.

I'm really confused that you claim you've already earned £1m by age 25 but you regret not going to Oxbridge, but you don't really want to go as a mature student.

What is the point of this post?

I think society is a little unreasonable to set too much store by the Oxbridge seal of approval. There are so many factors that can play into academic success, or lack of it, in school and university.

Most thoughtful people will not think less of you for not going to Oxbridge as they understand the complexities of life. They may in fact be rather more impressed by someone who has been able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

You’ve made a million by 25 but are full of regret? You feel rejected by a university you didn’t apply to?

Therapy might be helpful, OP. You sound bitter, confused and confusing.

I was upset for many years about not going to Oxbridge. I honestly and truly now don’t care at all and actually don’t think I would have enjoyed it at all. And that’s not saying it to make myself feel better - it’s genuine

i imagine it’s a lot about you feeling like you’ve missed out on being who you think you couod
have been. But at some point you’ll work out you’re actually pretty happy with who you are and then you realise that Oxbridge is of no relevance to your life at all

and if you want to succeed - whatever that means - Oxbridge churns out many people who are dysfunctional and is based on social
steuctures and power systems that are increasingly out of date

There’s a huge difference. One is because of your choice so you can only be mad at yourself, the other is out of your control / unfair and so you can be mad at the system.

It’s like me saying I can’t get over the fact a rich man didn’t accept my marriage proposal. I never proposed to him, so what is there to be mad at?!