To consider sending my children to boarding school?

@ReadingSoManyThreads Oh wow really? I've made it to 40 without knowing that Irish or northern Irish were anything but loved by us English.*
I'm so sorry you've had those comments. I adore the Irish and especially your accent.
I know an Irish vicar (not catholic) from NI and I could listen to him talk indefinitely ☺️

*Obviously I'm aware of the historical religious clashes etc but always assumed that's now exactly what they were considered - historical.

How awful. I promise we're not all like that.

Sounds a crazy move. Your life sounds great.

The two people I know who went boarding school have more issues than a big issue seller.

Both have nice accents though

I can’t see if anyone has made the point, but boarding schools really aren’t nice places to work and I am pretty sure that I can generalise on that one these days. They are all behaving in the same way: withdrawal of TPS; increased expectation around extra-curricular; disregard for work-time regulations and so on.

The workload and day length is off the charts. No one believes you unless they have experienced it.

And I have never been that convinced by the quality of education, either. These high-ability students would do just as well if they lived at home in their families.

Where are you currently living? Will your husband also be moving?

Less drastic option - could you teach in ROI if you’re close to border? Huge teacher shortage presently.

People are prone to think about public school opportunities with a lens of 30 years ago. What are you going to get compared to NI? Academic opportunities - amazing here. Beautiful grounds - literally surrounded here by incredible landscapes. Access to ‘posh’ sports - much more accessibility to and affordability of riding, sailing, golf, surfing here. You can spend your saved fees on ski trips if that’s your bag. Friend network - incredibly tight for life in NI. At public school - a lot of disparate students, only one set of school friends out of my public school friends are close and that I suspect is because they are slightly trauma bonded through some very sketchy 90s safeguarding at their particular school.

One of my friends did what you’re thinking of but not as dramatic - works in a big London day school for fee reduction. She can’t bear to admit she clearly loathes it but is stuck there for the kids for 12 years, is quite bitter to the point she’s alienated a lot of people, and is always going ‘but their school trip is to WHISTLER you know’ and ‘they have unparalleled careers services’ etc.

Well, guess what, we could afford to go to Whistler as a family every year AND pay a top uni consultant and still have change from their fees even at reduced level! Plus, our kids are at school with a massive range of backgrounds, which is in my view much preferable.

I lived in England for a really long time and am back in NI. You are mad to miss the utter blissness of life for kids in NI IF you are lucky to be in a nice town with a good family income and grammar school on the horizon!

If you think they need ‘public school connections’ in England (you haven’t mentioned that but others have) you can send them to Durham/bristol/exeter/edinburgh. And pay for it outright with saved school fees.

Although I hate to break it to some but Irish/NI graduates have access to incredible tertiary education and global connections, I don’t think anyone’s wandering about saying ‘oh those uncouth trinity ones, no polish and fewer contacts’.

I think the decision is not really about whether your kids should go to boarding school. you don't need to make that decision for a long time.

your decision is really "should I move my family to another country for this job"? And that depends on your DH and your family support and a bunch of other things. As others have said up-thread, this is a pretty relentless job - does it really pay well enough for all the work involved?

if you take the job, you can then decide later if your kids go to the local school or the one where you teach or if you change jobs again before they get to the right age.

Why don't you go and try it for a term and then bring the family out once you're sure you like it?

Is it a good school? A big school?
Our relatives started teaching in one 25 years ago and are sadly institutionalised.
Their friends are teachers, the kids friends are teachers kids living on site. Their extra curriculars are in school.
When the school was going through a bad time, the roll shrunk and the kids had little choice of friends.
This could overall be a good thing but it's made them quite unpleasant in a teacher kind of way, never off duty, always in charge but their field of reference is small after all that time.

Depends on school - is it South East?

There are excellent schools in NI so it wouldn't offer an academic advantage.

But it would likely be life changing for them because of the circles that they would be mixing in.

But the whole thing would be a very, very tough for me, as an Irish person and as someone who doesn't believe in private schooling, like your DH. And ultimately, I'd be happier with them having a more "normal" childhood. I definitely would feel highly uncomfortable raising my kids with the upper crust of English society.

So I definitely go visit with your DH first before making up minds and make sure he has thought this through.

Is there any way of taking on tutoring? Is that a thing that happens there? Or could you advertise in England and tutor via zoom? I know it’s not really the same…

or maybe study for a new skill and see where that takes you?

She’s going to be working at the school

Have you worked in a boarding school before? It is very full on - 7 days a week and very little time for a young family. I loved my time there pre-children but can't think of anything worse with a young family. No amount of money or educational prospects for my children would be worth it for me.

Would you consider working outside of teaching, if you want to work and it’s hard to get into where you are? Or is teaching a real vocation for you?

People shouldn't have children if they are planning to ship them off to boarding school.

You are in NI, a place with wonderful grammar schools, what they don’t have is the contacts that one makes at these types of public schools.

That is what you need to consider. Academically the output is likely to be the same, it’s the innate confidence and the mixing in certain circles. Sad, but it is what it is.