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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have said no to this man coming into my house?

88 replies

clodethewindie · 11/12/2024 12:47

I got home from work yesterday and the new neighbour was outside and so we introduced ourselves, made small talk etc.

My house and 7 others (including new neighbours) on the street are the same design/build etc. Neighbour mentioned that he’d gone to all those houses and they’d all let him have a look around and could he come in and see what I’ve done with my place …

Now I get it’s interesting to see what others would do with the same space but also as a lone female I don’t want to have a man I don’t know come into my house for a tour. He seemed a bit putout that I said no.

OP posts:
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DepartingRadish · 20/12/2024 14:21

One of our neighbours asked us who we'd used for work on our garden, as they were thinking of doing the same. I was happy for him to come and have a look, because he's a neighbour I've known for a few years. There's no way I'm letting some randomer I've never met wander around my house. Sounds like he was chancing his arm.

Pensionswew · 20/12/2024 14:05

rwalker · 20/12/2024 13:31

Nextdoor asked to look at our extension

In fairness a known neighbour of ours for years was reconfiguring their house from the original, and dropped a not in mh door to ask would I be open to them coming to have a look at our ground floor.

I had absolutely no problem at all as I knew them to wave and say hello to for years.

But a complete stranger absolutely no chance.

She took a lot of ideas from us as I am a storage fiend and have oodles of it as a result.

Storage is the key to a tidy house.
Not necessarily an organised house, but a tidy one!

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 20/12/2024 13:36

Nosey prick

rwalker · 20/12/2024 13:31

Nextdoor asked to look at our extension

Pensionswew · 20/12/2024 13:18

Not a chance I would have allowed him in.
If genuine, it is still very cheeky.
Wouldn't be entertaining it.

Years ago I was having work done and a man called to the door and the builder allowed him to have a look.
I came back and asked what the hell was going on? My house wasn't a show house.

I was furious with him.
He was just finishing up putting expensive built in wardrobes.

I told him that I wouldn't dream of recommending him on the basis of what he did.
It was a house owner a couple of streets away chancing his arm.
Cheeky fxxker.
I was so pissed off.

Behindthethymes · 20/12/2024 13:14

Well done op. I

Anotherworrier · 20/12/2024 13:11

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/12/2024 01:05

I've worked with rapists. Some are creepy, some are lovely and utterly charming.

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Terrifying isn’t it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/12/2024 01:05

Anotherworrier · 11/12/2024 14:05

And I don’t think men with sinister intentions are always obvious about it. You did the right thing.

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I've worked with rapists. Some are creepy, some are lovely and utterly charming.

spoonfulofsugar1 · 20/12/2024 00:59

I'm getting Cf vibes straight away...

peachystormy · 20/12/2024 00:55

sounds like he couldn't wait to get in! Quite weird imo

Moon30 · 19/12/2024 23:33

This is a really strange thing to ask. He sounds creepy!

Fannyfiggs · 19/12/2024 23:13

Bloody hell, cheeky fucker.

I'd check with my neighbours if they really did let him in.

WigglyVonWaggly · 19/12/2024 23:03

YANBU. Very intrusive to try to invite yourself into a near-stranger’s home! Neighbour or not, you don’t know him and you didn’t offer to let him wander round your home so it should never have crossed his mind that it would be okay. CF!

ButterCrackers · 19/12/2024 23:01

How odd. You were right to not let him in for a nosy.

healthybychristmas · 19/12/2024 23:00

The crazy thing is that why would a man think that a woman would want that? Any decent man I know wouldn't even dream of asking that question. His boundaries are completely skewed.

pinkstripeycat · 19/12/2024 22:48

I’m married with 2 adult sons at home and I’d still say no. It’s nosey and strange

GRex · 19/12/2024 22:44

I don't believe that every neighbour who'd never met him let him look round. I also don't believe he was surprised you said no. Very creepy vibes, please try never to be alone with him.

HumphreyCushionintheHouse · 19/12/2024 22:35

I’m not convinced that lots of other neighbours have let him into theirs. You did the right thing not entertaining it.

Resisterance · 19/12/2024 22:32

Jellycats4life · 11/12/2024 16:27

That is really sinister. He obviously bought the item on the pretext of getting into your house, for god knows what reason.

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Yes exactly what i thought. He really got my spidey senses going! He pretty much threw the object back at me after i refused him entry to my home.

I wonder if someone younger and less boundaried did eventually let him in

SuperfluousHen · 11/12/2024 16:32

Tryingtomakeitthroughtheweek · 11/12/2024 14:25

I always try to flip things like this round by thinking if my DH, Dad any other decent man I know would do that and they definitely wouldn't because its weird.

Speak to the neighbors, I agree with PP that he was probably lying ...

If he turns out to be lying I would report it to the local police.

Inkyblue123 · 11/12/2024 16:30

Some people are just nosy and most blokes don’t understand why women are a bit wary. I wouldn’t give it a second thought. You did the right thing - I certainly wouldn’t have let him in

SuperfluousHen · 11/12/2024 16:29

That’s incredibly rude and a bit disturbing.
A firm “no” from me too.

Jellycats4life · 11/12/2024 16:27

Resisterance · 11/12/2024 14:27

I once sold something on Facebook marketplace to a guy (cheap item for a tenner). He immediately said "Can i come in and use your toilet". I said no. I mean...wtf?! It was literally a 2 second transaction, i live in the centre of town and he was in his car. Plus I live alone.

He looked so pissed off. He then said "I don't want this item.. it's broken". It wasn't but I knew then for sure he just wanted access to my home / me and nothing else.

Really creepy!

You did exactly the right thing.

That is really sinister. He obviously bought the item on the pretext of getting into your house, for god knows what reason.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 11/12/2024 15:27

Well done for saying no. It's not at all a reasonable request. He's probably just a bit nosey, but might be a criminal staking the joint.
I wonder if it's true that everyone else let him in...

HeWhoMustNotBeNamed · 11/12/2024 15:21

Definitely NBU. When I wanted ideas on how to arrange our living room, I stalked my neighbours' houses on RightMove Sold like a normal person 🤣