Aibu to think the Middle Class have a much nicer Christmas from the run up to the event itself?

I don't think so and wonder what you are thinking of! How busy/enjoyable/festive Christmas is for a particular family or individual depends on a lot of personal and financial things.

Yes, very odd.

What a silly comment. Many of the minds there were anything but vacuous given some of the topics and conversations taking place, most were professional women, doctors, lawyers, teachers etc, some retired like me, with interesting lives from what I could gather. The discussion about types of wreaths lasted but a few minutes.

@allthatfalafel I'm sorry your Christmases were like that and I expect many others were too but you can't really compare Christmases and the expectations from 20 years ago to now. I mentioned the beach because that's what e do s we live in walking distance obviously most people aren't trekking to a beach in the winter if they are hours away. Growing up we were poor too although not a single parent family but my core memory was singing carols at our local tube station with my school.

Most of the events OP is referring to and available to do now simply weren't back then and there was no social media for FOMO. That's not to say people didn't feel like they were missing out but it was less in your face.

I think there's a good point been made about knowing what is out there and if you have friends who do those things, you're more likely to go along too.
There's so much that's free if you're tuned in to it - and with the internet and Facebook it's easier to find these things than ever but if it's still not on your radar then you won't find them or do them.

So for example my son had a friend that played in an orchestra and we'd go to support him. High quality and free in a gorgeous venue, gorgeous Christmas decorations, huge tree in the foyer etc. . We wouldn't have known about that or anything else the venue provided for free or very low cost if it wasn't for that friendship.

I think Christmas has become too commercialised. I really can't be bothered to be herded in to something, herded round them back out, plus the angst over having to get tickets in the spring or summer that sell out straight away.

My mum was working class, she couldn't afford a car, we didn't live anywhere near a beach and couldn't afford to get to one. She had my little sister to put to bed so we never made it to a Christingle service except if the school took us as a special day time one. Not many people had lights within walking distance of where we lived because they couldn't afford them either. I went out with my sister once when we were teens and we were like Tiny Tim looking in the windows of everyone else enjoying their Christmas dinners in front of the trees, whereas we'd gone out to escape the atmosphere of our house.

My childhood Christmases were incredibly stressful. She was always worried about money just for the food aspect of a Christmas dinner let alone everything else. She would be crying on her own in the kitchen for months after because it had meant wracking up more debt and pretending we were having just as good a time as the other school parents who made her feel even worse (not on purpose) because they had expensive gifts and days out for their kids and they had a dad at the Christmas table, and she'd got into debt just trying to buy frozen roast potatoes and enough turkey for three.

Absolutely no time to make anything homemade because she had a part time job, was looking after my grandma, trying to study for something better in the long run, looking after us and running a house - had to do all that walking everywhere which of course limits things even more. We did crafts at school. No local theatre performances because there was no local theatre, but she wouldn't have been able to afford them anyway. It was us in the school play (which at least was free back then).

The only time I liked the Christmas holidays was when it snowed, because we could go out and have fun like everyone else (but only until our knitted gloves were soaked through because the heating wasn't on to dry them and we didn't have proper coats).

Depends on your definition of a great Christmas.

I grew up working class and my Christmas was amazing - every year mum baked and baked, the house constantly smelled of her homemade mincemeat, Christmas cake, Christmas pudding. Everyone had a job - I made the Christmas pickle, dad peeled the chestnuts, we all did the decorations (mainly holly and fir branches from our garden).

We wrote our cards together, and collectively wrapped small gifts to go under the tree.

We hosted and visited neighbours and friends, went to church twice as often as normal.

Some years we made crackers, some years we helped put festive decorations at church, some years we went door to door collecting for the Salvation Army, some years we went to the local am-dram panto.

We watched movies and ate too much cheese and played board games. My dad would smoke one cigar on Boxing Day, my mum would drink sherry. My gran would sit and chop up the Xmas cards for next year’s gift tags, and smooth out the wrapping paper to reuse (NO ONE ripped into presents in our house - I truly thought everyone reused their Xmas wrapping paper every year and could never understand why the shops were full of it!)

We literally rejoiced, every year, for the entire month of December.

I don’t think my kids “get” Christmas - the undiluted joy of it. It doesn’t need a cash injection to be magical.

OP do you mean that people with more money can buy more stuff and do more things? Because yes, that's obviously the case. But I don't think class has anything to do with it.

I remember one year my working class very successful builder friend took his kids to Lapland. Meanwhile we (middle class) made a Santa's grotto in our under-stairs cupboard with tinsel etc, and invited the neighbours kids round. Didn't cost a penny.

We were both "making the most of Christmas".

I do agree. I grew up in a working class environment We had a horse (in the area we lived it wasn’t as posh as it sounds). So I mixed with some very wealthy people. Although cost is part of the point you’re making. I think there is a massive difference in recognition of both the interest in, and knowledge of what’s out there and indeed prioritisation of the arts, eating out etc. as I was older I was amazed that people actually went to the theatre, concerts etc. I thought these things were for nobility (and according to my school mates for snobs) that people would eat out before they did these things was mind blowing. I was amazed how many art galleries and museums there were (they weren’t generally free then). It just wasn’t seen as valuable or accessible. The shops we shopped in didn’t have nice Christmas things. We didn’t go to the places where nice things were advertised as we weren’t the target market (I wonder if algorithms still make the same distinction - perhaps you don’t get face book ads for the local theatre production if you haven’t checked in in the West End)

I think a lot of it was to do with the perception and experience of my parents. They knew walking in the local countryside was free so that’s what we did.

I’ve actually noticed the opposite in my local town. The working class people all tend to have quite a bit of money (mostly work in the trades) and really seem to focus on “making memories” at the weekend - they’re doing the Santa grotto visits, the panto, loads of lights on their houses, light trails etc. Whereas the middle class it’s more about small drinks parties at neighbours’ houses, carol service at church, school fete. Money and class are not the same!

Going to see things at Christmas isn't about this. I am not on social media. We just enjoy the festivities and support local arts and theatre.

We make the most of Christmas, but being low on the socioeconomic scale, we're hindered in how much we can do in comparison with families with more disposable income, but that's not to say we don't "make the very most of the Christmas season".

If you've got time to judge someone's wreath...of course a lot of Christmas events are crazily expensive, but not all of them. Planners who do things their families like generally have a better time although not all plans work!

It's the current equivalent of keeping up with the Joneses. I see it in my family it's got nothing to do with actually enjoying the season it's solely about looking good on social media, you have to do this this and this and prove it or you lose social standing. I don't care about social media so don't bother, we'll make our own wreath etc but we'll go into the woods and pick our own greenery. It's a far better way of reconnecting after a busy year than an insta worthy family workshop.

It’s what you make it. When DC were younger we used to do advent events but lots that didn’t cost a fortune. Driving around looking at all the lights, local garden centres to look at all the Christmassy things, hot chocolate and a Christmas movie at home. There is a lot of money you can spend on doing all the activities and each to their own but I have lots of memories of when I was growing up that didn’t involve kits of expensive trips

Vacuous minds all in one place. What fun!

Compared to whom? Do the "middle classes" have a nicer time than, say, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge?

I think you mean: "People with lots of money and time tend to spend more of it on events and experiences than people who don't have lots of money and time". Well, duh.

Time and expectations make the most difference.
The last couple of decades Dec has been really stressful.working in hospitality.60 hour back to back weeks.
I'm working class and I'm sure lots of us work harder this month.
I'm currently working less and somewhere classy so I get the refinement of Xmas without the slog.
I don't spend much or receive much yet I enjoy the trees and lights .

Surely most middle class just like to meet up with their friends and family at Christmas, like everybody else?

I can't imagine anything worse than building my own wreath when you can just buy one and stick it on the door.

Be fair, The Nutcracker is ridiculously Christmassy. It was the only ballet I saw as a kid but it was absolutely wonderful.

Love the holly comment though - too prickly, can’t be arsed.

My shopping delivery contained brazil nuts instead of roasted peanuts, and I didn’t realise.
DD said “if we were Nigella types, we’d whip up bags of chocolate brazils for presents.”
DS - “thank fuck we aren’t, then.”

I do prioritse doing things over Christmas and keeping presents low key. I bought tickets for the theatre, the Nutcracker and The Christmas Carol early this year so then I have money for nice lunches to accompany them. I budgeted early on.

I go to the local chapel by an English Heritage site which is the highlight tbh.

I also love walking at night looking at the lights and generally I think keeping things calm and cheeful is important. I haven't started buying presents yet as I don't like it to be the only focus.

I should imagine most people around here would define our family as 'middle class'. But when my DCs were small, the run up to Christmas involved a free trip to see Santa at the local garden centre, driving around the streets of 2 nearby towns to look at the lights on decorated houses, the school nativity carol concerts, and DCs being allowed to stay up late in their PJs on the evening that the Rotary club Santa float visited so they could fling their coats on over their pj's and go and visit the main man.

I never indulged my DCs in the ridiculously expensive marketing Christmas events that people seem to stress over booking and feel that their DCs have missed out if they don't go.

I often go to the screenings at my local cinema as there is a real lack of ballet performances where I live. They are excellent, great filming and I enjoy the discussions with directors, dancers etc. Of course nothing compares to being there in the theatre in good seats but for me that means an expensive over 2 hour train to London and a hotel if it's an evening performance, so the screenings are a very good substitute.

And as for family wreath making? Really? £120! No I'm upper middle class I suppose, elite on that new scale yet I can assure you I've never taken mine to any such things when they were children. Most of these modern ways of extracting money from parents hadn't been dreamed up yet thankfully! We made a wreath (1) in the local village hall each year, these cheap events still exist because I work for a church and we charge £10 per family which included mulled wine/blackcurrant and a mince pie plus wreath making.

I've seen the nutcracker, went with school, I also took my dc to the opera, cheaply, cheaper than the cinema, £15 last time I went). Cultural events are not necessarily expensive, not as expensive as premier league football for instance

Wreath making is a rip off. The kids aren't terribly interested in doing it either. But lots of years I've got together with friends and we've made wreaths from stuff cobbled together from gardens, allotments and hedgerows. It has cost absolutely zero.