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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

“You sound like a great mum/aunt/nan” etc.

56 replies

Reallyaretheythatgreat · 11/12/2024 07:22

i feel like I’m constantly reading comments such as “you sound great” “I bet you’re a lovely mum” “you’re doing a fab job op” etc when honestly I feel it’s unnecessary and almost condescending.

yet posters seem to be congratulating op on doing a fabulous job.

eg.

i bought my dog a new coat. Aibu for buying him a green felt one and now he looks likes a mobile pool table

omg op you sound like a brilliant owner and really responsible I bet your pooch loves you to the moon and back. I wish I’m reincarnated as your dog when I die.

aibu

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 11/12/2024 08:00

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:55

oh i’ve noticed it

and whenever an alternative perspective put to the Op…. the shower of shit that descends on that poster is awful

Show quote history

Yup.
The Mumsnet Pile - On.

Like if someone DARES suggest that Divorce has an adverse effect on most young children.

(Until, contrarily , a stepmom posts about finding the behaviour of the step kids impossible, then it’s all

” They had to cope with a painful divorce”.

PinkTonic · 11/12/2024 08:00

It’s the multi thread sagas that get me. The OP posts a handful of times on each and the remaining 995 posts are clapping and cheering and oh how wonderful you are, interspersed with really crap advice. Anyone who really thought about it would think hmm, no one I’ve ever known in real life would behave like this OP, so the overwhelming likelihood is it’s all bollocks, but no, you’re fantastic, wonderful etc…for 100 pages.

oakleaffy · 11/12/2024 07:56

Reallyaretheythatgreat · 11/12/2024 07:25

I made baked potatoes with cheese and beans for dinner tonight for the entire family”

well done op you sound like a lovely wife/mother

no other option I’m afraid, I gambled most of the food money away this week so couldn’t afford much

op you sound like you’re trying your best and everyone is super proud of you. Who doesn’t love a jacket spud 💐💐💐💐💐

😂
Have you a Diagnosis yet, OP?
Are you suffering from a GSOH?

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:55

oakleaffy · 11/12/2024 07:53

Have you not noticed the effusive praise heaped upon some posters ?
” You sound like a great mum, Hun!”

( When we don’t know the woman )

I think OP was just noticing this trend.

Show quote history

oh i’ve noticed it

and whenever an alternative perspective put to the Op…. the shower of shit that descends on that poster is awful

oakleaffy · 11/12/2024 07:53

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:37

why don’t you link to this thread?

i suspect you have been a touch hyperbolic

Show quote history

Have you not noticed the effusive praise heaped upon some posters ?
” You sound like a great mum, Hun!”

( When we don’t know the woman )

I think OP was just noticing this trend.

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:51

Coconutter24 · 11/12/2024 07:50

Thats why people make threads sometimes, they want support. Would you rather we stoned them to death? 😂😂
I must admit it does annoy me that the answer to everything is you’ve got MH issues, autism or ADHD….. not always the case, sometimes we just struggle but people always want a label

narcissist

drives me insane!

tuvamoodyson · 11/12/2024 07:50

Reallyaretheythatgreat · 11/12/2024 07:25

I made baked potatoes with cheese and beans for dinner tonight for the entire family”

well done op you sound like a lovely wife/mother

no other option I’m afraid, I gambled most of the food money away this week so couldn’t afford much

op you sound like you’re trying your best and everyone is super proud of you. Who doesn’t love a jacket spud 💐💐💐💐💐

You go girl! You got this 💪

UndeniablyGenX · 11/12/2024 07:50

oakleaffy · 11/12/2024 07:43

Last century , before dog coats were a “Thing” I made my Lurcher a warm coat out of a length of possibly vintage woollen green Baize from a charity shop - mobile pool table indeed!
it had blue bias binding and a leather strap closure.

But no one said “ You sound like a fab owner, Hun!”😂

Edited
Show quote history

To be honest, 'AIBU - My dog looks like a pool table' sounds more like a lighthearted thread where people would post their animal grooming fails!

Coconutter24 · 11/12/2024 07:50

Thats why people make threads sometimes, they want support. Would you rather we stoned them to death? 😂😂
I must admit it does annoy me that the answer to everything is you’ve got MH issues, autism or ADHD….. not always the case, sometimes we just struggle but people always want a label

Original poster
Reallyaretheythatgreat · 11/12/2024 07:45

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:44

so the thread you refer to Op…. is made up?

yes. Otherwise it would be a taat.

OP posts:
emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:44

so the thread you refer to Op…. is made up?

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:43

CyranoDeBergerQuack · 11/12/2024 07:42

The OP used an exaggerated, created scenario for effect, obviously. Nevertheless, it proved the point.
That's why there was no link to a thread
I think you should ask someone how to determine if words are being used in a serious way or to illustrate a principle

Show quote history

to be fair
it doesn’t “prove a point” if the example given is completely fictional

oakleaffy · 11/12/2024 07:43

Reallyaretheythatgreat · 11/12/2024 07:22

i feel like I’m constantly reading comments such as “you sound great” “I bet you’re a lovely mum” “you’re doing a fab job op” etc when honestly I feel it’s unnecessary and almost condescending.

yet posters seem to be congratulating op on doing a fabulous job.

eg.

i bought my dog a new coat. Aibu for buying him a green felt one and now he looks likes a mobile pool table

omg op you sound like a brilliant owner and really responsible I bet your pooch loves you to the moon and back. I wish I’m reincarnated as your dog when I die.

aibu

Last century , before dog coats were a “Thing” I made my Lurcher a warm coat out of a length of possibly vintage woollen green Baize from a charity shop - mobile pool table indeed!
it had blue bias binding and a leather strap closure.

But no one said “ You sound like a fab owner, Hun!”😂

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:42

Reallyaretheythatgreat · 11/12/2024 07:41

I agree i clearly didn’t get the memo 😂

as few are agreeing with me.

-awaits the OP are you okay, have you considered help? You sound very negative, how’s your mental health? Might you consider therapy-

eta I agree

Edited
Show quote history

huh?

i wasn’t referring to your Op

i was commenting that banal platitudes is often precisely what the Op wants

knife edge

CyranoDeBergerQuack · 11/12/2024 07:42

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:37

why don’t you link to this thread?

i suspect you have been a touch hyperbolic

Show quote history

The OP used an exaggerated, created scenario for effect, obviously. Nevertheless, it proved the point.
That's why there was no link to a thread
I think you should ask someone how to determine if words are being used in a serious way or to illustrate a principle

Original poster
Reallyaretheythatgreat · 11/12/2024 07:41

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:38

invariably OPs start threads because that is exactly what they want

banal platitudes of support

I agree i clearly didn’t get the memo 😂

as few are agreeing with me.

-awaits the OP are you okay, have you considered help? You sound very negative, how’s your mental health? Might you consider therapy-

eta I agree

OP posts:
emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:38

invariably OPs start threads because that is exactly what they want

banal platitudes of support

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 11/12/2024 07:37

They are just trying to be kind to an op who seems to be struggling.
A few kind words can make a big difference to someone.

CyranoDeBergerQuack · 11/12/2024 07:37

Breathing deserves plaudits and parades according to some

emailnonse · 11/12/2024 07:37

Reallyaretheythatgreat · 11/12/2024 07:22

i feel like I’m constantly reading comments such as “you sound great” “I bet you’re a lovely mum” “you’re doing a fab job op” etc when honestly I feel it’s unnecessary and almost condescending.

yet posters seem to be congratulating op on doing a fabulous job.

eg.

i bought my dog a new coat. Aibu for buying him a green felt one and now he looks likes a mobile pool table

omg op you sound like a brilliant owner and really responsible I bet your pooch loves you to the moon and back. I wish I’m reincarnated as your dog when I die.

aibu

why don’t you link to this thread?

i suspect you have been a touch hyperbolic

SoftandQuiet · 11/12/2024 07:36

Berga lol

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 11/12/2024 07:36

Can I come hang out on whatever threads you’re on because my complaint about mumsnet is rarely that it’s TOO gentle and supportive

Dampfnudeln · 11/12/2024 07:35

I feel like I read a lot of mean or callous responses but very little of what you describe.

Berga · 11/12/2024 07:35

You're so astute to pick up on this OP, you sound like a wonderful mumsnetter 💐💐💐

Don't listen to those who say you need a bit of kindness in the world, we all know it is much better to bring someone down a peg or two. Keep going!

Happyinarcon · 11/12/2024 07:33

If someone is feeling overwhelmed they are likely to have a distorted perception of their situation. It’s helpful to pick out the positives and reinforce them before moving on to where they can improve.