Being made redundant - ask sons dad (my ex) to drop a day in work so we both do 4 days

The laughable thing here is how little he sees a child he helped create. It's not unreasonable to want a father to be a father instead of doing bugger all for his child. You're laughing at the woman who has to do it all because her child's father is a sad excuse for a human being. She didn't phrase it the 'right' way, but wanting a father to actually be a father is something everyone should get behind not laugh at. The standards people have for fathers really are appallingly low.

Might be better if he has child more, regardless of his work

You have to be having a laugh, right? You are no longer involved with this man and you want him to take a hit financially so that he can 'help out' because you were unfortunately made redundant?

You can certainly ask him but do not under any circumstances be at all surprised or offended when he says no he isn't going to give up a day of his work to help you out.

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear

That's a brilliant idea!

You can't expect him to drop a day for your convenience, his employer would not have to agree even if he asked. Find wrap around care and you are less beholden to him.

Massively unreasonable of you, of course you can't expect him to do that, or as some posters are suggesting "here's a few options for you to choose from".

You have your child most of the time, as I'm sure you want, and part of that is not expecting anyone to pick up your slack.

@twentytwentyfour2024 OP I’d ask and let him refuse and show who he is. .
Even if he can’t drop a day he should sit with you as the other parent and discuss your child and the childcare arrangements.

I think the fact he has your dc 7 hours a week days it all really .

He has the child 7 hours a week !!!!

Haha are you for real ? So he can ask /expect her to have the child 7 days and he works 5 at the moment .
OP cant ask the man to work less and care for his kid so they both have an income .

Of course you can ask him OP and why not ?

Everyone is right, you can but ask.
However I feel your pain. My dd has complex needs and I first reduced my hours then had to stop work altogether as she was unable to go to school completely. My ex just continued paying the same paltry sum throughout. And didn't change his pattern of contact - one evening and 1 weekend day ever other week.
It's no compensation now, I know, but the long term pay off for me is that my dd is a fabulous, independent adult, who understands the differences in the roles me and her dad played in her life. I have the most fantastic relationship with he. On the other hand he is desperate to see more of her but she has no interest. Take care and I hope you find a job that works for you and your precious ds.

You don't want him to drop a day tho do you? You want him to share pick ups and drop offs. You'll need to arrange this with your new place of work I guess, or get a childminder or breakfast and after-school club.

You could try saying I won’t have the flex with a new job so I can’t do 90% of the parenting, you need an overnight every other week and two overnights every other week, here’s a couple of proposed patterns for you to choose.

It would be so difficult for me to get my employer to allow me to reduce my working hours/ do 4 long days. Would it be as simple as him "just dropping a day"?

Does he pay you the right amount, especially if he has no overnights?

You could ask if he can do pickups twice a week perhaps but he might say no

The truth is you can’t control what anyone else does. Your best building it around your work and with the minimum support required coming from him - if you get more it’s a bonus!

It's reasonable to ask him to take responsibility for a higher proportion of your child's care.

It's not reasonable for you to dictate how he achieves that - if his working salary is significantly higher than the cost of nursery/childminder then him paying for an additional day of outsourced childcare (and doing the related organisation of dropoffs and pickups not leaving that all to you) is a choice he is free to make.

Of course you can ask. You are right, it shouldn't all fall to you and parents need to have more conversations about sharing the childcare load, especially when separated.

He doesnt even have his kid overnight. He needs to take some of the pressure and parenting load and hes a pretty crappy parent if he can not see that.

Obviously, he might say no but definitely open up a conversation about it

He’s not very engaged then, is he? I understand you would like this to happen. Realistically he seems unable to do the basics of parenting and you’re looking for a detail of co-parenting he’ll be unwilling to provide.

Why don’t you see what new job you get and how the hours can work for you?

You can then ask what he can do to help but I wouldn’t think most people would drop a day’s work in that situation.

I know how hard it is as I was working full-time and exh did nothing. I was also made redundant and found it difficult to get back to work with childcare etc.

If your ex has your son during the week then it's to him how he manages school pick up/ drop offs. I have 50/50 with my ex and jave a childminder for before/after school some days during my time as its up to me to make sure DD is cared for, he sorts his days out by either finishing early or his GF does the school run. We wouldn't dream of asking each other to change work hours

It's CMO

Anyway,

What's your child schedule how many days a week does he have them?