Husband not making contact for hours when at party

Seems like an overreaction. It’s his Christmas party for work, and you already knew he had a work Christmas thing on. Why would you have needed help? There was nothing wrong, a baby with a cold is normal daily life not an emergency so him saying but nothing happened, is totally accurate.
If you keep calling him at work when nothing is wrong, you’re probably gonna have a lower chance of him picking up in an actual emergency do you not think?? Because he’s gonna presume the call is just the usual checking up on him and may ignore it?

He should have sent a message after the activity to say he was staying on into the evening/to see if you needed help.

Beyond that though I think it's fine to be uncontactable occasionally. Before mobile phones everyone was uncontactable unless they were at home/in the office and we all survived. Don't become over reliant on modern tech. You should be able to cope with an emergency by yourself (and I'm sure you can and would have done should one have arisen).

Then why post? It’s irrelevant what anyone else says, you’ve decided it’s not acceptable behaviour.

I think as a one off this is fine. I used to have Xmas do’s like his when DD was 2 and I only worked mornings so DH would take her.

Yeah, the older I get the less surprised I am at the way men behave. I swear some of them have a bit missing when it comes to seeing women and children as human beings with feelings.

It's Christmas, of course there are work things on and he wants/needs to go. That's not the point.

He could have done a quick text saying what he was doing, so at least you knew he wasn't in a ditch somewhere, and could just get on with dinner. He could have checked in on his sick kid - if it's just a cold, its meh but not terrible.

I hope he has a godawful hangover tomorrow and the kids are at top volume first thing in the morning.

When he's recovered, have a calm quiet word with him about respect and consideration in future.

The big questions are - is this repeated standard behaviour for him, or a Christmas one off?

Also - did he drive home drunk?

Did he say if he saw they messages and didn't reply, or was he not aware they came in?
As in, if you had text to say you were on the way to a hospital with the kids, would be have known?

I can see both sides on this one

You knew it was his work Christmas do, these usually go on into the evening and involve booze so it’s not like he went totally AWOL, in reality you knew where he was it was just annoying.

However - I’ve been there with a difficult toddler and ill baby and it absolutely sucks. Especially when DH gets to go out and have fun while you are literally left holding the baby. So you have my sympathy.

I suspect what you really need is not so much for him to be contactable but for you to get a good break too. Don’t get angry about his night out but make it fair, as far as possible. Can he take over for most of the weekend and give you a proper rest?

It was a Christmas works do - he text you at lunch what's the big deal? My DH would also have been 'surprised' by the scheduled activity - if it doesn't interest him, he doesn't pay attention.

It's bad luck you have a baby with a cold and fussy toddler - it's tiring and annoying but not life threatening. Unless there is a massive back story here and your DH has form for disappearing or cheating with work colleagues you are being unreasonable. Do an Elsa - let it go.

If he does this every weekend, then you have a problem. But I think exceptions can be made for the Christmas party. When you say you didn’t know where he was…he was with his colleagues at the work Christmas party. If you’re wondering what he was doing, he was probably getting pissed and having fun. I’d let it go.

I wouldn't expect my other half to be completely uncontactable unless it's been planned in advance when there's kids in the house, no.

By all means go out, have a few, have a great time, if you're staying out later than planned just drop me a text and get your own way home - but be available in an emergency and make sure you're fit to parent again the next day.