AIBU to be having nightmares over friends visit?

I wouldn't sleep with her under my roof.

I sympathise, OP. (I am Jewish through the maternal line but it isn’t obvious). I too am sickened by the plight of the Palestinians and the behaviour of a certain subset of Israelis as they perpetrate what is becoming genocide

But none of that excuses 7 Oct or the anti-Semitism one now hears from so-called civilised people. The extremism is on both sides.

I could not have someone like your friend in my house. On the theory that she may be stressed or depressed, I would probably come down with flu - it is more contagious than covid, and on average nastier.

What the hell are you scared of? You should WANT to lose the friendship! You do realise when she’s talking about gassing Jews she means you and your family don’t you?

Yes this. Have some backbone

I'd also agree with you here.

And as others have put, visa versa.

Totally agree. Most of my circle is strongly pro Palestine including some Jewish people and they’d never say anything like that or tolerate it being said.

That sounds a nightmare and stressful!

Does she know you are Jewish (albeit non practicing)? Usually people with such strong views would not ever associate with a Jewish person whatsoever so I find it quite odd?
I know someone like this and every day the content reposted is horrendous, they are even bitter and angry towards Jewish celebrities, jewish owned shops and whatever, so I know they would never have a Jewish born friend!

It’s very sad that you’re worrying about accidentally upsetting her when she’s coming out with things like that! Good lord.

I’d definitely say illness though, unless you have the energy for a really horrendous argument with a woman who probably can’t be reasoned with.

How to proceed is that you don't proceed. You can't be friends with an extremist unless you share those views

I think it's fine to show support for Palestine and be against Israel's behavior as a nation. But this is actively racist, anti-Semitic behavior which is absolutely not okay. Regardless of your ethnic background you're well within your rights to not want to be anywhere near this woman - I'm not Jewish and I certainly wouldn't want to be her friend. The fact she has mental health issues doesn't mean you somehow owe her friendship regardless of how she behaved.

You certainly don’t have to disclose you’re Jewish. On Irish Catholic and I’d screenshot one of her extreme posts supporting genocide and send it saying thanks but I don’t feel like catching up this year, I just don’t have any space in my life for people who hold such extremely violent views.

I would call her before the visit and remind her that you're Jewish. You can say that you fully sympathise with the plight of the Palestinians but what she's been saying about Jewish people in general is upsetting. If you say it gently and kindly hopefully it will sink in for her. She needs help to be extracted from this bubble, she's ruining her own mental health by the sounds of things and she has a tiny child too. You could gently say to her that she's allowed to turn away from this stuff sometimes for the sake of her own mental health and to be present for her child. Have the tricky conversation by phone first before she comes. I think you'll regret it if you dodge the visit entirely as it sounds like you have a lovely history together and that she needs help.

This.

She sounds disgusting and tbh like someone needs to report her. She is bringing up a child?! She doesn’t sound right in the head.

She thought the Hamas slaughter was beautiful? And that not enough Jewish people were gassed? She’s abhorrent. You can be pro-Palestinian without holding views as extreme as those.

Pretend you have Covid, ghost her, explain how you feel and block her, put something on your Instagram about celebrating Hanukkah along with Christmas (I believe Hanukkah starts on 25 Dec this year) and she’ll probably block you.

But you don’t need to agonise about whether or not you should be meeting up with her or having her to stay surely?

Just be honest tell her that you don’t agree with what she is posting so it’s better you don’t meet and let the friendship fade

Um, I don't think it's a great idea for a Jewish person to host somebody that posts things like 'kill the Jews'.

Cancel the visit. She sounds absolutely nuts in a really dark way.

I am surprised the things she has been saying haven’t led to an instant block from you, not to mention banning from Instagram. I am also surprised that she has always been anti-Israel but that you being Jewish never came up. An unusual situation. Either way, she is massively racist and bit someone anyone would want to be around.

The friendship with this person is over. You just need to work out how to make that clear.

I'm shocked at you, that you'd say you had Covid rather than standing up for your ancestors, yourself and any children you might have.

Jesus Christ. Commenting on photos of dead children? She sounds completely messed up in the head. Is her partner and family aware that she does this sort of thing? I would be distancing myself completely from her. She doesn’t sound like the person you used to know if she’s descended into this level of fundamentalism . Run a mile

Same here. She sounds insane, frankly.

I would message her saying, "You might not remember that I'm Jewish. I've seen what you've been writing online and it's shocked and horrified me. I don't want anything to do with someone with your beliefs."

Hard no on her coming under your roof. I would tell her you are so busy - shame - catch up next time - and let contact lapse. Ghost if necessary. She does sound a bit loopy as well as anti semitic and hostile. Best avoided.

Exactly. OP please don't let this nazi sympathiser around your family. Fuck her.