AIBU to be having nightmares over friends visit?

Lovely

The Fields of Athenry is a sectarian song and sung by the Irish at football and Rugby matches.
Listen to them sing it at the end of Euro 2016 in France. ( tissues a ready )

I'm Irish too, and I know the kind of bleeding heart hater you're describing.

Smug, self-righteous, no sense of self-awareness, and no boundaries whatsoever.

I'd tell her straight up that you are concerned about her mental state and express the hope that she'll get help for her problem. Also, that you won't be able to host her if she visits Ireland. You don't need to offer an explanation.

I have done this with a cousin who thought she could drop by and spend a day spewing verbal diarrhoea in my home (different bilge from your friend's but same bucket, to turn a phrase backwards). We're no longer in touch and that's fine with me.

Tell her not to come because you are washing your hair... strand by strand... therefore it is going to take a very long time - like you won't be able to see her for years...

but seriously, she sounds awful!

Get rid. Nobody needs a jew hating bigot in their life.

From Northern Ireland here too and I think this is to some extent true. I don't think anyone wants to go back to the troubles and the trauma of the troubles for sure, but I also think there's still a sense that the IRA were fighting for freedom against political injustices and for many communities I work with its definitely just there under the surface if you scratch even a little. I don't think op has said anything massively out of turn in that respect. It maybe depends on the communities you're moving in.

Op back to your original post. I think it depends on how much you value this friendship. I think her posts are abhorrent to be honest but I also would like to think that we can still reach people who are down an extremist worm hole with a bit of humanity and I don't believe that leaving people in echo chambers of social media is a solution in the slightest. That being said - this also isn't your job to fix and you aren't required to do anything about this if you aren't comfortable.

If you do want to try to retain a friendship, then I'd be inclined to ring her and say that there is something you need to talk with her about before she comes to visit. And I'd tell her that you've been seeing all her posts and specifically the anti semitic ones and that you are Jewish and you find her sentiments deeply hurtful. That you've been sitting on this for a while because you were worried about how she'd react to this information but that it's at a point where she either needs to rethink what she's posting in order to respect you as her friend, or you just can't continue to have her in your life because while you don't politically align with the israeli gov actions (and I'd specifically name the posts where she's directly asking for Jewish people to be harmed or killed) these specific posts are offensive and hurtful to you and are taking things too far. I'd say that you understand she didn't know you were Jewish, but she does now and you'll be watching what she does going forwards to decide whether or not you can continue a friendship. That the ball is in her court but that you don't tolerate such extremist views in your relationships and that you are worried about what she's engaging with online.

It's so so easy for hate to thrive when there's no actual human being on the other end of it. I think op the difficult bit will be preparing yourself for her reaction not being what you'd hope for, if you do decide to tell her which is why I think it's important you only do this if you feel its the right option for you.

If its not, then to be honest I'd just message and be direct and say that you can no longer associate with someone who has such strongly anti semitic views so in order to protect yourself and your family and your mental wellbeing you won't be engaging with her going forwards and end the friendship.

Either way, I think it's important that you call her out if you can, if you feel safe to do so.

Well if you're talking about the English occupation of Ireland it was 5 times as long ago as your 200 years. My 100 years is about when they stopped the British martial law and routine extrajudicial killings (including FWIW my great uncle) in most of Ireland. And I'm English.

That said I've been at nightclubs in cork and Tipp where they have played songs where everyone is happy to sing about Paul McGrath and up the ra, in Limerick where they sing Sean South, and on the occasion where I thought there would be trouble up north where they played black and tans. However maybe the awareness is generational - I'm mid 40s.... Look at who the biggest act was at Electric Picnic - Wolfe Tones are now huge among teenagers and those in early 20s who have no real link or understanding of the troubles and were born after 1990. It's not popular again but in a different way. But that said this is still derailing your thread. Sorry. Ra is a bit like fight club and no one will talk about it only than to deny that it still exist

It's not true. You've upset so many because you keep insisting your statements represent most of the Irish when that's not true. That might be the way things are in North Kerry, where you live, but North Kerry doesn't represent the rest of Ireland.

What you've described is simply untrue for most Irish/ other parts of the country. I'm in my 40s, grew up in rural Ireland and never heard or experienced anything you've described. I've also lived in a different part of the country to my home county and never heard the like there either. I've lived in both rural areas and cities. Your insistence that "most Irish" and " a lot of Irish" believe what you describe isn't true, that's why so many are offended.

I'm so sorry you've had to read those comments and views OP, especially from someone you loved or even still love. I can't imagine how deeply that must hurt. I honestly would unfollow her at the very least on social media so you don't have to be subjected to that.

As to seeing her, I absolutely would not see her. Personally I wouldn't be in contact with her again either but that's entirely down to you. If you don't want the conversation (totally understandable) just make an excuse and then stop replying after that.

N Kerry is not Ireland - maybe that is the mental adjustment you need to make. I’m fully aware of how different N Kerry was during the troubles, black flags flying outside of houses etc, and no doubt relics of that attitude remain. But it is a small sparsely populated area and it is not representative of Ireland or of Irish people as a whole and I think your OP is damaging and you should edit it. In any case it is ironic that on a post complaining about racism you are yourself also generalising = stereotyping about a whole other nation. Yes this has all derailed but if you were more careful with your own words it could be avoided.

I wouldn’t tell her about Jewish ancestry. I would meet her up somewhere on neutral territory, not at home and focus on asking her a lot of questions about her DC and Australia and how she met her DH etc and then I phase the friendship out. I know your feelings DH was going out recently with friends one of whom is really anti Israel, luckily they talked only about work stuff.

You could claim Covid but if it’s a small place she could bump into you somewhere.

And I absolutely believe that you didn’t tell her about being Jewish. People who don’t believe either are very naive or know nothing about real life, and definitely not Jewish.

There is a huge difference between understanding the plight of Palestinians/ being anti Israeli establishment, and being fully pro-Hamas, saying slaughter is "beautiful", and wishing death upon more Jews.

It is gobsmacking that anyone is suggesting to should "put politics aside" to see her. She is no longer your friend. She's a radicalised anti-Semite. She is glorifying in the murder of people like you and your family. That's the reality of it.

Mourn for the friendship that was, but that friendship doesn't exist anymore, and it is not your job to try and fix her regardless of whether she is in crisis or not. If she's this far gone on SM and the war is such a part of her daily thinking then it's inevitable she will raise it in person, or be scrolling/posting and showing you. Why on Earth would you willingly put yourself at risk of that? Make whatever excuses you feel you need to, but please cancel the visit.

Today I learned that the British Empire was established 100 years ago.

Seriously? You can't have someone with extreme views like that around you, especially given your religion. Her language is horrific. I'm not Jewish and I wouldn't even consider associating with her.

It is not the case that many Irish people support the IRA.
If you meant to say that many Irish people support a united Ireland you should ask to have your post amended.

No.
It really isn’t OP
but this subject has derailed your thread.

ITYM 100 years ago. I'll say nothing about more recent history.

This would be friendship ending for me I'm afraid. She sounds deranged, "they didn't gas enough of you". Sorry but that is sadistic. Tell her you're Jewish and you can't tolerate her hatred.

Yes of course.
Although I was in Derry and too busy avoiding being shot at, and not by the IRA either