Impatient train woman

Not knowing about your disability, I might have felt exasperated and wondered why you hadn't got organised on the platform. I wouldn't have said anything but I would have expected you to politely offer apologies for the inconvenience. But it doesn't really matter. It's a trivial incident.

Have one with yourself instead of projecting like mad about your disabled mum - nobody knew the OP was disabled!

Shes also dismissed all sensible suggestions to hold onto her stuff for another minute/set it on the floor for a minute/put it on the seat while standing for a minute/as she wanted to avoid feeling uncomfortable for a short time it would take to let people pass, yet said she would choose to be uncomfortable for the journey standing or sitting in another seat instead! It’s a lost cause, hence I said don’t bother going on about it again, as she obviously doesn’t want to take any suggestions on board.

Sorry this happens to you. Can you not just pick someone and say “excuse me could I sit there please”?

You were exceptionally rude when you said 'And don’t reply to this going on about your health condition...'

Truly awful thing to say. Have a word with yourself.

I'm so sorry that you go through this @Curtainqueen
I know this happens, which is why I advocate for my disabled mum when we're on public transport. My mum would also never ask for a seat. If no one gets up for her, I always say to the carriage 'please could someone free up a priority seat.

I hope you're reading Curtain's experiences, @YaWeeFurryBastard

Apparently yes. Because commuters often just don't care. I say this as a disabled person who has frequently had to suffer increased pain on public transport because nobody will offer me a seat. On one occasion I was on crutches after another surgery and had to stand up for a half hour train journey because nobody would offer their seat. They all just looked at the floor every time I tried to make eye contact. I've got used to it now. This unfortunately is the reality for many disabled people because we are invisible. People pretend they can't see us or sheepishly look round waiting for someone else to offer us a seat so they don't have to. Often they just pretend they can't see us anyway. Trains are always far worse as there's a mentality among season ticket holders of I've paid for my seat and I'm keeping it. Busses I am always far more likely to be offered a seat.

There’s no point in OP replying to me about the same issues - she has already replied upthread.

What attitude am I supposedly taking to disabled people on trains? I think they’re both in the wrong.

Also the other woman has no way of guessing that OP has any health conditions.

If you took that attitude to my disabled mum on a train you would soon be set right.

This is the second time you’ve referenced giving people a gobful. I’m curious why you don’t think you’d get one back?

Better than coming across as many are as being so inconsiderate and selfish as to not be able to tolerate someone spending 30 seconds making themselves comfortable on a reasonably long train ride. This thread is a depressing read.

The OP does come over as self righteous and passive aggressive in their responses on this AIBU thread though. Probably had that vibe on the train, too.

This.

Where do you get off telling OP not to reply on her own thread?

You are exceptionally rude to OP on her own thread.

If you took that attitude to my disabled mum on a train you would soon be set right.

She's just annoyed she had to sit next to someone.

You’re coming at this from the perspective that you need whatever accommodations to be comfortable on the journey due to your health conditions. The other woman has no idea about any of this and just saw you faffing about and holding other people up.

You feel justified in how you acted, and think she was rude for how she spoke to you. She thinks you were rude for holding up other people and said something to you about it.

You need to let this one go. You were both rude in different ways.

(And don’t reply to this going on about your health condition and why you can’t possibly have a bag on your lap for two mins to let other people past before moving it - that is unfortunately your cross to bear and not others problem, including the train people!)

I would have said "I will. Thanks!!" Breezy smile. But then I'm a passive aggressive bitch. I also have arthritis so can sympathise.💐

Just because you are willing to suffer doesn't mean OP should.

I haven't said OP should be free to whatever she wants. But she should be able to take care of her basic needs without being badmouthed.

I have never seen anyone refuse to move for a person with a disability, it must be very very rare and I can guarantee someone in the carriage would have accommodated her.

You're being ridiculous, you can't guarantee that. This comment just reveals the utter lack of understanding of the needs of disabled people. You can't leave things to chance or rely on strangers.

This is what I'm taking from this, even as someone who has had multiple surgeries for a degenerative disease of the spine who has had to stand up on entire journeys because nobody would offer me a seat - it does come over like OP thinks it's all about her.

By that logic why should anyone do anything to help others. On the one hand you seem to want people to accommodate people with disabilities (absolutely fine), but believe those with disabilities should be free to do whatever they want and not consider other people. Bizarre!

I have never seen anyone refuse to move for a person with a disability, it must be very very rare and I can guarantee someone in the carriage would have accommodated her.

At the expense of everyone else.

She may have been a little rude in saying so, but you were no better. You faffed around long enough to cause an.actual queue to build up. It's not all about you.

First it only took 2 seconds then it only took 30 seconds. Why was a queue building up in that case? Clearly you were creating a hold up long enough to irritate other people. With kindness OP, and I say this as someone with a degenerative disease of the spine which slows me down considerably on public transport - nobody on public transport cares about your hot flushes or arthritis. They just want to sit down and get to work. The harsh reality is that not everything revolves around your hot flushes. Not everyone is going to want to wait around for you to finish faffing about either. The commuter world is dog eating dog and just doesn't operate on 'be kind' unfortunately.