Page 2 | Impatient train woman

Bigtom · 2024-12-10T17:36:17+00:00

I regularly commute on a train for around an hour each way. There are no reserved seats. I have a type of arthritis that makes sitting (or standing!) quite uncomfortable so I try to get one of the limited seats with extra leg room. I walked the length of the train to find one today and the only one was a window seat with someone already sitting in the aisle. I duly asked the lady in the aisle if it was free and she said yes and stood up. I then took off my coat and got my coffee cup out of my bag and put my bag and coat in the overhead rack. While I did this a bit of a queue of people built up. When I sat down, the lady muttered “take your time why don’t you”. AIBU to think she was very rude and should sit on the window seat if she doesn’t want to move? When I said that, she responded that I was keeping other people waiting!

owlexpress · 19/12/2024 07:44

Bigtom · 19/12/2024 07:31

It wasn’t like that at all - it was the last carriage and the doors at the other end were locked, so the seats weren’t filling up and there were lots available anyway. In any event, the people queueing weren’t getting annoyed, it was aisle lady who already had a seat who was impatient to sit down again.

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Tbf, you don't actually know they weren't getting annoyed. Maybe they just didn't say anything.

People just want to get on and sit down. Even 10 seconds felt like a long time for me in that scenario.

Original poster

Bigtom · 19/12/2024 07:31

owlexpress · 18/12/2024 18:20

I was getting on an 8am train the other day and thought of this thread... The woman next to me on the platform barged her way to the front so she could get on first, then stepped onto the train and dithered, blocking the aisle 🤦🏻‍♀️ it was so frustrating. It was probably only about 10 seconds, but I did ask her to excuse me as the seats were filling up from the other side of the carriage!

It wasn’t like that at all - it was the last carriage and the doors at the other end were locked, so the seats weren’t filling up and there were lots available anyway. In any event, the people queueing weren’t getting annoyed, it was aisle lady who already had a seat who was impatient to sit down again.

OP posts:

owlexpress · 18/12/2024 18:20

I was getting on an 8am train the other day and thought of this thread... The woman next to me on the platform barged her way to the front so she could get on first, then stepped onto the train and dithered, blocking the aisle 🤦🏻‍♀️ it was so frustrating. It was probably only about 10 seconds, but I did ask her to excuse me as the seats were filling up from the other side of the carriage!

peachystormy · 18/12/2024 16:27

Bababear987 · 10/12/2024 19:15

I think OP you sound like your faffing about quite a lot and it drives me crazy being queued behind people like that when I just want to sit down. I probably wouldnt have said anything to you but I hate when peoples faffing is wasting my time. You wouldve definitely got a look

😂😂🫣 this

Duechristmas · 16/12/2024 07:53

MuddyPawsIndoors · 10/12/2024 18:53

I'm a regular commuter too and I would've put my coat and bag on my lap, rather than hold people up.

It isn't holding people up though is it, you're so going to get there at the same time regardless.

Sonowimbackfromouterspace · 14/12/2024 22:21

...and four days later, this 20-second altercation is still the subject of much debate. 😂I originally voted "YANBU" but I'm beginning to regret that now as the OP has invested so much in this thread that I'm inclined to think she was probably holding everyone up on that train. I'd love to see a thread from one of her fellow passengers.

Londoneye20 · 14/12/2024 22:07

RosieLeaf · 10/12/2024 19:07

If it was 2 seconds how did such a queue build up behind you?

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🍿

Welshmonster · 14/12/2024 21:46

To be fair it’s not like the train can’t get moving while people are looking for seats.

I’ve been on peak time commuter trains and despite the guard saying on the intercom that there were plenty of seats in various carriages and people needed to get out of the door area, people just stand.

next time just tuck yourself in and then get out again. Or just do what you normally do

personally I would have my coffee cup already out rather than faff getting it out of my bag

violentknight · 14/12/2024 16:58

Here's a radical suggestion (must be, no-one else has thought of it!) Thinking of ways to make future journeys more comfortable, for myself I've just spent £8 on Tena lady briefs for long journeys. That amount, I reckon, would pay for a charity shop coat that was quilted, lightweight, warm and not bulky - or spend what you can. My thinking is that your coat might be heavy, bulky, perhaps wool. You say the one you have is uncomfortable to fit on your knees. Well, this could be a solution. Presumably you sleep under a duvet so draping a light quilted coat over your knees would allow for lots of twisting and turning, no problem! Or how about using it as a back rest for extra support? And in December it would be cosy, making you feel more comfortable. Extra warmth might even help with the arthritis. I suggest choosing a coat with one easy zip fastening, unfastening it just as the train pulls into the station. These type of coats are relatively easy to slip on and off and surprisingly warm too. In fact, I have decided to take my own advice as I was wondering how to deal with a long-haul flight to warmer climes in winter from the UK. I am off to buy one myself, purely for long journeys. Big pockets to accomodate coffee cups, a bonus! I already have cheap but cosy loungewear kept purely for long flights and it is great! Don't dwell on that poor journey with its unfortunate set of circumstances, rather focus on making future ones better! 🙂

Original poster

Bigtom · 14/12/2024 13:44

Fireworknight · 14/12/2024 13:42

But she wasn’t disturbed by someone needing the window seat, as such. She was disturbed by the fact that, after you requested to sit down at the window seat, you then took time to put your coat and bag on the top seat, and get your coffee cup out.

But that’s surely part and parcel of letting someone sit down on a train travelling long distances? She had to wait for about 30 seconds. Are you saying that justifies a rude comment?

OP posts:

Fireworknight · 14/12/2024 13:42

But she wasn’t disturbed by someone needing the window seat, as such. She was disturbed by the fact that, after you requested to sit down at the window seat, you then took time to put your coat and bag on the top seat, and get your coffee cup out.

Original poster

Bigtom · 14/12/2024 12:56

PottedPlantCrazy · 14/12/2024 11:37

Maybe she has a stoma and needed an aisle seat so she could access a toilet quickly?

Think of that?

There could be an absolute plethora of reasons, or maybe she was just a rude cow, who knows.

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That’s fine, she has every right to an aisle seat, but she can’t then complain about being disturbed by someone who needs the window seat surely?

OP posts:

toucheee · 14/12/2024 11:57

PottedPlantCrazy · 14/12/2024 11:37

Maybe she has a stoma and needed an aisle seat so she could access a toilet quickly?

Think of that?

There could be an absolute plethora of reasons, or maybe she was just a rude cow, who knows.

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Have you never heard the expression ‘put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone with theirs’.

Think of that?

OP had an immediate need with her arthritis and spine problem.

toucheee · 14/12/2024 11:55

MrsSchrute · 14/12/2024 11:32

What's the point of this thread op? You are adamant that you were perfectly correct, so what does this thread achieve?

She get validation from decent, non ableist people.

If the thread isn’t for you, move along.

PottedPlantCrazy · 14/12/2024 11:37

Bigtom · 14/12/2024 11:29

Ok, let’s say she was in agony for the 30 seconds it took me to sit down. Does that trump the hour of agony I would have suffered if I hadn’t taken that 30 seconds to get myself sorted? She could have saved herself that agony by simply sitting in the window seat in the first place, which would have also saved all the other people as well.

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Maybe she has a stoma and needed an aisle seat so she could access a toilet quickly?

Think of that?

There could be an absolute plethora of reasons, or maybe she was just a rude cow, who knows.

PottedPlantCrazy · 14/12/2024 11:37

Bigtom · 14/12/2024 11:29

Ok, let’s say she was in agony for the 30 seconds it took me to sit down. Does that trump the hour of agony I would have suffered if I hadn’t taken that 30 seconds to get myself sorted? She could have saved herself that agony by simply sitting in the window seat in the first place, which would have also saved all the other people as well.

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Maybe she has a stoma and needed an aisle seat so she could access a toilet quickly?

Think of that?

There could be an absolute plethora of reasons, or maybe she was just a rude cow, who knows.

MrsSchrute · 14/12/2024 11:32

What's the point of this thread op? You are adamant that you were perfectly correct, so what does this thread achieve?

Original poster

Bigtom · 14/12/2024 11:29

PottedPlantCrazy · 14/12/2024 11:27

YABU.

I’m sorry you struggle with pain, but how did you know the woman who stood up wasn’t in agony?

Or someone stuck behind you might have Colitis and might be desperately trying to get past to find a toilet? Or another with COPD who is so short of breath that all the want to do is sit down because they also feel like crap? Or a diabetic trying to sit down to treat a massive hypo before they pass out in the walkway?

I’m sorry you struggle, but I doubt you were the only person there with an invisible illness.

You (read) as very entitled, yes she was rude to voice it but you sound like you also need to be mindful of others around you, also.

Ok, let’s say she was in agony for the 30 seconds it took me to sit down. Does that trump the hour of agony I would have suffered if I hadn’t taken that 30 seconds to get myself sorted? She could have saved herself that agony by simply sitting in the window seat in the first place, which would have also saved all the other people as well.

OP posts:

PottedPlantCrazy · 14/12/2024 11:27

YABU.

I’m sorry you struggle with pain, but how did you know the woman who stood up wasn’t in agony?

Or someone stuck behind you might have Colitis and might be desperately trying to get past to find a toilet? Or another with COPD who is so short of breath that all the want to do is sit down because they also feel like crap? Or a diabetic trying to sit down to treat a massive hypo before they pass out in the walkway?

I’m sorry you struggle, but I doubt you were the only person there with an invisible illness.

You (read) as very entitled, yes she was rude to voice it but you sound like you also need to be mindful of others around you, also.

MrsSchrute · 14/12/2024 11:27

needsomewarmsunshine · 14/12/2024 10:49

She was rude but you faffed.

Pretty much what I was going to say.
Faffing drives me bonkers, but she was still rude.

Original poster

Bigtom · 14/12/2024 11:26

TheignT · 14/12/2024 09:11

Do you honestly think the OP was timing herself? No that is a throwaway figure and in no way can we regard it as accurate but regardless of that you have no way of knowing how painful it was for her to get up, stand there and then sit down again. The least the OP could have done was apologise but even better when the woman went to stand OP could have said to wait as she had to sort herself out. It isn't hard to be considerate.

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You’re really invested in this aren’t you? 😂

I will be sure to time myself next time and report back.

I would have done that on Friday but I stepped into the empty aisle seat to let several people past which probably added to the time it took me to sit down. See how much easier it is when people sit in the window seat first?

By the way, I’m not saying people can’t choose to sit in the aisle seat, of course they can. But they can’t expect not to be disturbed if they do and, yes, the person wanting the window seat may have a particular need for that seat which may also mean they have other unseen needs.

All she had to do was be patient for 30 seconds (or possibly a bit longer - maybe even a minute!). Even if she was in pain for that minute, does that trump the much longer period of pain (over an hour) that I would have experienced if I didn’t sit in that seat or take those few steps?

OP posts:

CosyLemur · 14/12/2024 11:25

You were rude! You get everything ready before you get on the train! You don't hold up everyone trying to get on the train just to take your coat off and get your cup ready.

Original poster

Bigtom · 14/12/2024 11:14

Swiftie1878 · 14/12/2024 10:58

If there were plenty of empty seats, and I had chosen an aisle seat (indicating a wish to travel without being seated next to someone), and OP had asked to take the seat beside me then made me wait while she ‘sorted herself out’, yes - I’d have been cross!
I wouldn’t have known her reasons for disrupting me, and I may have reasons of my own to not want her sitting beside me. I’d have just thought she was being an a-hole!

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She can think what she likes at the end of the day, I can’t police what people think. It’s the fact she was rude I object to.

You really can’t expect to sit in an aisle seat and have no-one want to sit in the window seat, can you?

OP posts:

toucheee · 14/12/2024 11:01

Swiftie1878 · 14/12/2024 10:58

If there were plenty of empty seats, and I had chosen an aisle seat (indicating a wish to travel without being seated next to someone), and OP had asked to take the seat beside me then made me wait while she ‘sorted herself out’, yes - I’d have been cross!
I wouldn’t have known her reasons for disrupting me, and I may have reasons of my own to not want her sitting beside me. I’d have just thought she was being an a-hole!

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Your sense of entitlement is insane. Just because you sat in an aisle seat next to an empty window seat doesn’t mean you have any rights over who sits in the empty window seat.

In fact OP has explained her NEED of that sitting there (it was the only one left with extra legroom she needs). You’re being spectacularly selfish.

I wouldn’t have known her reasons for disrupting me,

Ignorance isn’t an excuse to make passive aggressive comments.

Swiftie1878 · 14/12/2024 10:58

toucheee · 14/12/2024 10:53

You’d be cross at being asked to get up?

Then you would have been crosser had OP sat down and then asked you to stand up again so she can put her coat away.

Or are you saying OP should have the spent the entire journey being uncomfortable to placate you?

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If there were plenty of empty seats, and I had chosen an aisle seat (indicating a wish to travel without being seated next to someone), and OP had asked to take the seat beside me then made me wait while she ‘sorted herself out’, yes - I’d have been cross!
I wouldn’t have known her reasons for disrupting me, and I may have reasons of my own to not want her sitting beside me. I’d have just thought she was being an a-hole!