Page 2 | Polo, the elite and mysoginy

CrackersAndMarmite · 2024-12-10T16:57:37+00:00

So I sat down to watch the new Haggs and Merry Netflix show 'Polo'. I managed about 25 minutes I think before I was sooooo bored I had to turn it off. Anyway, when watching it all I kept thinking about was how mysoginy is just so massively perpetuated by the elite. The programme was all about the rich male oligarch/oil tycoon/CEO types. No women's team represented - future episodes seem only focussed on male teams too from my brief look at what's to come. The men all have their picture perfect little blonde wifey's who look after the babies and children and home and are expected to fawn over these men's (not as nice as they think) bodies. Meanwhile, these men pour millions into a sport that seems to be about appearances more than actual passion. They use horses as their play thing. I just felt a bit sick watching this programme as it really made me think about how the upper classes/elite are everything that is wrong with the world, yet they run it. The mysoginy, the arrogance, the splashing of millions on a sport when there are people starving, the expensive cars and private jets guzzling fuel and gushing out pollutants. I don't often give much thought to the super rich, but watching this made me feel really really angry. While millions of people around the world are suffering famine, war, death, cost of living crises, homelessness, struggling to put food on the table, these rich men are prancing about spending millions on simply having fun, while wifey attends to their every whim and they do what the hell they like regardless of climate concerns, animal welfare concerns etc.. AIBU to think the elite are everything that is wrong with the world. If they could use their millions to support homelessness, support those undergoing war and famine, raise awareness of women's rights (instead of walking about with the trophy wife attached to their arm leading us back to the 50s), and take action on climate change, the world would be a far far far better place. ... (Sorry I don't know if I spelt mysoginy right!)

akkakk · 11/12/2024 10:14

it is also worth noting that it is easy to spend on that kind of lifestyle without feeling awkward as long as you surround yourself with others doing the same - because then it feels normal. It is why so many of the rich avoid the poor because they don't like to be reminded of the inequality...

akkakk · 11/12/2024 10:12

CrackersAndMarmite · 11/12/2024 09:57

Thanks.

I agree with a lot of your post. However, if instead of dropping 250k on a 6th supercar, the rich could spend that money on things or services to help those in society most in need, that would still provide jobs but also provide support to those that need it.

I remember feeling a bit ill when I was a lecturer at graduation. The venue for the graduation was next to where the city had a big homeless problem. Seeing everyone walk about in the expensive gowns and drink champagne when people were literally starving and freezing outside didn't feel right. However, for most of the students this was a well deserved, special and rare day and I had to give my head a wobble and try and enjoy it all. However, there are super rich people that wear incredibly expensive clothes, drink expensive wine, drop thousands on a meal etc.. day in day out. I have no idea how they can emotionally detach enough not to feel unbelievable guilt at the gluttony of it all.

The worst thing is that many of the super rich (I guess I'm thinking the likes of megs and harry here, but also the likes of people like Rishi Sunak) will lecture us on the importance of climate change, helping each other etc... while they will happily sip 10k champagne in a restaurant in central London with a homeless person sitting just outside. I can't bare the hypocrisy and the cruel emotional detachment that allows such behaviour.

It's similar with women's rights, feminism etc.. People like Meghan Markle lecturing on feminism, womens rights, championing women. At the same time seeming to want to look pretty, flutter eyelashes, hang off the arms and suck up to the powerful men .. I just find it all weird, hypocritical, tasteless, heartless and lacking in humanity.

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The problem is that you are right - but most of the super-rich don't want the inconvenience of admitting it as it would mean they have to personally do something about it... I guess I am just trying to add a small balancing view in that the vast majority of the 'wealthy / upper-class' set are actually not wastrels with money and are often doing a lot of good things in the background - I know so many examples where there is very quiet / useful spend of money which is not shouted about but geared at supporting communities / people / charities etc. - i agree though the comparison sometimes is very uncomfortable...

As for feminism - I am a man, but am probably more feminist than my wife because I hate inequality (she is a very successful surgeon) - I do though see that a lot of women in positions of power don't feel a need to be actively feminist because they have already achieved their power and they forget what it must be like for the average women in a world geared against her...

Original poster

CrackersAndMarmite · 11/12/2024 10:06

RingoJuice · 11/12/2024 09:44

You can’t expect the United Kingdom
to start fixing global problems lol you can’t even fix your domestic issues. I would not watch programming that triggers you so.

Remember, China produces more emissions in two weeks than you do for an entire year.

They aren’t gonna stop because you asked nicely. They are gonna get even richer while you get poorer. Polo hobbyists notwithstanding

Oh I know. That's something that pees me off no end!! My DH and I often discuss the pointlessness of paper straws and recycling our carrier bags while China is firing up the coal powered stations and chucking out gallons and gallons of emissions like there's no tomorrow!

I hate it all!! China's emissions and how noone does anything about it, Netenyahu's genocide, corruption in all of politics world wide, famine and war perpetuated, started and prolonged by the rich, the poor sent to slaughter each other in pointless wars that benefit only very few, millions left to starve in various parts of the globe facing famine and natural disaster.

I guess the common thread is human greed and gluttony. Those in power all over the world, whether that be China, North Korea, Russia, USA, UK or elsewhere - they want to keep their wealth and get wealthier. Greed wins over humanity for the very rich and powerful. And that is so very sad.

(And it's one thing doing it in private, but it's a whole other level of narcissism and psychopathy flaunting it to the very people you trample on. Like burning the £50 note in front of the homeless man. Netflix's 'Polo' is kind of 'see we are powerful, rich and dont give a shit' produced by the people who profess to be charitable eco warriors ...)

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Original poster

CrackersAndMarmite · 11/12/2024 09:57

akkakk · 11/12/2024 09:29

flaunting wealth is uncomfortable for most people other than a few - I have had the fortune to grow up with a privileged background, but what is interesting about that is how there are different layers in the groups often seen as a single layer... there is a lot of spending wealth to show you can, but for a lot of people in that world it is still frowned upon - no issue with spending to get something special (a top pony in the polo world would be seen as reasonable much as buying a top violin for a concert violinist, or buying a high-end yacht for an olympic sailor etc. - tools of the trade, you would want the best) - but a lot of the flaunting type of spending - new ferrari because someone else has the same as you and you need to go one better - or DRC (top burgandy) to then drink it mixed with coke - that would be frowned on by most of that society...

So, yes there are some like that, but most are not - when you get to know people at the elite end of a sport they tend to be focused on the sport, not on coming across as a rich idiot... and sure, that isn't to say that they are not wealthy in terms of the average person, though not all are (many are funded by the uber-wealthy but are good at the sport) but a world will always have some wealthy and some not - it is I think the attitude which is important... and to generalise based on one perspective is perhaps unfair for others in that same sport...

the other thing to remember is that for a society to function - and lets be honest: democratic / socialist / dictator, prime-minister, president or monarch - all societies have their wealthy and their poor... you want the rich to spend their money - if they keep it in a bank account they take that money out of circulation - if they spend it then it does trickle down - the bentley they buy pays people at the dealership / at the factory / someone who details / cleans the car - the fuel consumption pays more people at petrol stations, the tanker drivers that deliver the fuel /etc. etc. etc. if no-one bought bentleys the rich would still be rich, but a lot of people would be out of a job!

Thanks.

I agree with a lot of your post. However, if instead of dropping 250k on a 6th supercar, the rich could spend that money on things or services to help those in society most in need, that would still provide jobs but also provide support to those that need it.

I remember feeling a bit ill when I was a lecturer at graduation. The venue for the graduation was next to where the city had a big homeless problem. Seeing everyone walk about in the expensive gowns and drink champagne when people were literally starving and freezing outside didn't feel right. However, for most of the students this was a well deserved, special and rare day and I had to give my head a wobble and try and enjoy it all. However, there are super rich people that wear incredibly expensive clothes, drink expensive wine, drop thousands on a meal etc.. day in day out. I have no idea how they can emotionally detach enough not to feel unbelievable guilt at the gluttony of it all.

The worst thing is that many of the super rich (I guess I'm thinking the likes of megs and harry here, but also the likes of people like Rishi Sunak) will lecture us on the importance of climate change, helping each other etc... while they will happily sip 10k champagne in a restaurant in central London with a homeless person sitting just outside. I can't bare the hypocrisy and the cruel emotional detachment that allows such behaviour.

It's similar with women's rights, feminism etc.. People like Meghan Markle lecturing on feminism, womens rights, championing women. At the same time seeming to want to look pretty, flutter eyelashes, hang off the arms and suck up to the powerful men .. I just find it all weird, hypocritical, tasteless, heartless and lacking in humanity.

OP posts:

RingoJuice · 11/12/2024 09:44

You can’t expect the United Kingdom
to start fixing global problems lol you can’t even fix your domestic issues. I would not watch programming that triggers you so.

Remember, China produces more emissions in two weeks than you do for an entire year.

They aren’t gonna stop because you asked nicely. They are gonna get even richer while you get poorer. Polo hobbyists notwithstanding

akkakk · 11/12/2024 09:29

flaunting wealth is uncomfortable for most people other than a few - I have had the fortune to grow up with a privileged background, but what is interesting about that is how there are different layers in the groups often seen as a single layer... there is a lot of spending wealth to show you can, but for a lot of people in that world it is still frowned upon - no issue with spending to get something special (a top pony in the polo world would be seen as reasonable much as buying a top violin for a concert violinist, or buying a high-end yacht for an olympic sailor etc. - tools of the trade, you would want the best) - but a lot of the flaunting type of spending - new ferrari because someone else has the same as you and you need to go one better - or DRC (top burgandy) to then drink it mixed with coke - that would be frowned on by most of that society...

So, yes there are some like that, but most are not - when you get to know people at the elite end of a sport they tend to be focused on the sport, not on coming across as a rich idiot... and sure, that isn't to say that they are not wealthy in terms of the average person, though not all are (many are funded by the uber-wealthy but are good at the sport) but a world will always have some wealthy and some not - it is I think the attitude which is important... and to generalise based on one perspective is perhaps unfair for others in that same sport...

the other thing to remember is that for a society to function - and lets be honest: democratic / socialist / dictator, prime-minister, president or monarch - all societies have their wealthy and their poor... you want the rich to spend their money - if they keep it in a bank account they take that money out of circulation - if they spend it then it does trickle down - the bentley they buy pays people at the dealership / at the factory / someone who details / cleans the car - the fuel consumption pays more people at petrol stations, the tanker drivers that deliver the fuel /etc. etc. etc. if no-one bought bentleys the rich would still be rich, but a lot of people would be out of a job!

WaryHedgehog · 11/12/2024 01:29

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CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 20:47

CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 20:44

Absolutely.

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...and seeing the cringe-ness around the women fawning over the men, and the mysoginy of it all made me question the company H&M keep and how progressive they actually are Vs how progressive they say they are. I just thought the whole thing was steeped in sexism and out of date constructs around climate, women's rights, animal rights and equality

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Original poster

CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 20:44

2024onwardsandup · 10/12/2024 20:35

I find it odd that Harry and Meghan have picked this as one of their things - it’s so obviously a wealthy thing to do (note for sure grass roots etc etc - but is is an elite lifestyle being presented)

it fascinates me how this blends with their other branding as being all about world peace blah blah blah

i think it summarises the dissonance of their brand - it purports to be about achieving equality but its actually about being wealthy and elite

Absolutely.

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2024onwardsandup · 10/12/2024 20:35

I find it odd that Harry and Meghan have picked this as one of their things - it’s so obviously a wealthy thing to do (note for sure grass roots etc etc - but is is an elite lifestyle being presented)

it fascinates me how this blends with their other branding as being all about world peace blah blah blah

i think it summarises the dissonance of their brand - it purports to be about achieving equality but its actually about being wealthy and elite

TinyRebel · 10/12/2024 20:29

I used to go to the polo a lot. Grew up in a tiny Sussex village where the estate owner is useless at farming and this was one of the many things he decided to dabble in. I worked in the village pub and was practically the only state school educated teenager in the area. I wasn’t interested in horses and was disgusted by fox hunting. Every year there was a fresh influx of polo grooms and players and I made friends with them and went to a lot of parties and matches. It was funny when the company I worked for (high end travel) sponsored a match that King Charles played at - my boss was surprised that I seemed to know so many people.😂

The posh girls would absolutely throw themselves at the good looking Argentinians and were properly annoyed at common little me being friends (ok, sometimes more) with them. My Spanish improved immensely and I even went travelling around Argentina for a few months. Had some really good times.

I remember the ridiculous wealth though. People would rent enormous houses and import and house housekeepers, vets, grooms, players and ponies - not to mention the specialist saddlery industry that grew up around it.

If you’ve read Jilly Cooper Polo, I’d suggest it’s very well researched.

Original poster

CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 20:27

unsync · 10/12/2024 18:47

It's not the responsibility of HNWI to solve the problems in the world (although there are some that try), it is the responsibility of the respective Governments. Corrupt politicians and religion play a huge role in the why the world is as it is.

These types of programmes do not reflect reality, they are made for "entertainment" and the producers always have an agenda.

I see what you r saying, but it is the super rich that fund the governments, lobby the governments and bribe the governments and ultimately ensure their interests are served before those of the rest of us. The super rich yield a significant amount of power both politically and otherwise. With power comes responsibility.

I'm pretty sure it's well known that richest .5% of the world could end poverty for the rest of the world if they chose to spend their money in the interests of humanity not greed and gluttony.

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CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 20:17

Wingedharpy · 10/12/2024 18:23

I get your drift OP.
I had similar vibes when watching Alpine Hotel at Christmas on channel 4 last Sunday.
"Rooms costing up to £18,000 per night......"
Had to turn it off.
Utterly nauseating but I suppose if you have (or Daddy has) sooo much money that you don't know what to do with it some folk will spend it on excessively expensive "experiences".

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I might give it a watch though may not be able to stomach it!

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CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 20:16

unsync · 10/12/2024 18:47

It's not the responsibility of HNWI to solve the problems in the world (although there are some that try), it is the responsibility of the respective Governments. Corrupt politicians and religion play a huge role in the why the world is as it is.

These types of programmes do not reflect reality, they are made for "entertainment" and the producers always have an agenda.

What do you think the agenda of 'polo' is?? I honestly just found it utterly boring, except for it's spurring my dislike for he hypocrisy, mysoginy, arrogance and sexism of the super rich. I have no idea of the agenda. Didn't seem to be one?

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CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 20:12

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I'm not so sure. Most people are trying to make a comfortable life for themselves and family - put a roof over head, cook or obtain good food, ensure clean clothes, etc.. yes it could be argued we don't need a cheap holiday to Spain or an x box for the children. However, dropping 10k on a bottle of wine or 5 million on a season of sport just makes me feel ill. I would really struggle to do that knowing people in the same country, maybe even the same town or street, were homeless. I already feel guilty about Gaza, Syria, Sudan etc.. and give what I can. Average people are persuaded all the time to donate money to children in need, red nose day etc.. etc.. I think a lot of ordinary folk do their best.

I really don't think I could spend so much on frivolity when so many are going through such hard times.

I also think the 'average' household is constantly told not to pollute, to use paper straws, to limit car use and plane journeys etc.. to limit our footprint on the environment, but the super rich take private jets which chuck out so much pollution it somewhat negates the efforts of the rest of us.

And as for mysoginy and sexism. I think the average person is trying their best to move things forward, to get women recognised as more than just their body and a nice accessory for men. Meanwhile in the elite world some women seem content to just look nice by the side of their man and there are v few men who would seem to be content with a strong, intelligent career women who is maybe a size 12 or above and doesn't have salon ready hair and nails. It just seems like the elite want to keep women thin and pretty as accessories whereas the rest of us are trying to move into the 21st century....

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WaryHedgehog · 10/12/2024 19:20

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MissyB1 · 10/12/2024 19:08

Wingedharpy · 10/12/2024 18:23

I get your drift OP.
I had similar vibes when watching Alpine Hotel at Christmas on channel 4 last Sunday.
"Rooms costing up to £18,000 per night......"
Had to turn it off.
Utterly nauseating but I suppose if you have (or Daddy has) sooo much money that you don't know what to do with it some folk will spend it on excessively expensive "experiences".

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Yes I watched that, it was sickening.

unsync · 10/12/2024 18:47

It's not the responsibility of HNWI to solve the problems in the world (although there are some that try), it is the responsibility of the respective Governments. Corrupt politicians and religion play a huge role in the why the world is as it is.

These types of programmes do not reflect reality, they are made for "entertainment" and the producers always have an agenda.

Wingedharpy · 10/12/2024 18:23

CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 18:05

I suppose the main point of this thread was not really so much about the sport of polo itself (as interesting as some replies relating to the sport have been) but more about how the super rich and elite seem to perpetuate and represent everything I dislike about the world! ... animal cruelty, arrogance to do what the hell they like (treat animals badly, pollute the climate through use of jets and super cars), mysoginy, sexism, greed and gluteny, splashing the cash on a 10k bottle of wine, when a homeless person could use that money as rent for a year, and blatant hypocrisy....

I get your drift OP.
I had similar vibes when watching Alpine Hotel at Christmas on channel 4 last Sunday.
"Rooms costing up to £18,000 per night......"
Had to turn it off.
Utterly nauseating but I suppose if you have (or Daddy has) sooo much money that you don't know what to do with it some folk will spend it on excessively expensive "experiences".

akkakk · 10/12/2024 18:12

CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 18:05

I suppose the main point of this thread was not really so much about the sport of polo itself (as interesting as some replies relating to the sport have been) but more about how the super rich and elite seem to perpetuate and represent everything I dislike about the world! ... animal cruelty, arrogance to do what the hell they like (treat animals badly, pollute the climate through use of jets and super cars), mysoginy, sexism, greed and gluteny, splashing the cash on a 10k bottle of wine, when a homeless person could use that money as rent for a year, and blatant hypocrisy....

All of that is reasonable - but not all who play polo are in the super-rich category... to be fair, most won't be suffering from poverty, but there is a lot of polo which is grass-roots level...

There was a very good episode of Faking It (where people were given a different job and within a few wakes had to try and appear professional) where a bicycle courier from Manchester was 'turned into' a polo player...

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/faking-it/on-demand/36186-002

worth watching - it is a far better representation of polo than anything Harry put on - though it is based at The Beaufort polo club (Tomlinsons mentioned above) and Harry & William used to play there a lot as a child as it is basically next door to Highgrove...

like most things in life, take the super-rich out of the picture and what is left tends to be fun - mostly they make it worse, but that doesn't change what polo itself is like...

Faking It - Series 5: Episode 2 | Channel 4

A bicycle courier from Manchester has four weeks to pass himself off as a polo player

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/faking-it/on-demand/36186-002

Original poster

CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 18:06

unclebuck · 10/12/2024 18:05

If you think those mens "wifeys" are looking after the kids you are very mistaken! That is what a Norland nanny is for!

😅👍😉

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Original poster

CrackersAndMarmite · 10/12/2024 18:05

I suppose the main point of this thread was not really so much about the sport of polo itself (as interesting as some replies relating to the sport have been) but more about how the super rich and elite seem to perpetuate and represent everything I dislike about the world! ... animal cruelty, arrogance to do what the hell they like (treat animals badly, pollute the climate through use of jets and super cars), mysoginy, sexism, greed and gluteny, splashing the cash on a 10k bottle of wine, when a homeless person could use that money as rent for a year, and blatant hypocrisy....

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unclebuck · 10/12/2024 18:05

If you think those mens "wifeys" are looking after the kids you are very mistaken! That is what a Norland nanny is for!