To think two under two is exhausting and crazy?

I know someone who had two sets of twins and ended up with four under two!

I had 4 in roughly 6 years.

Aged 11, 10, 7 and 5

It is what it is. Someday chaotic someday fine 🤷🏼‍♀️

2 under 17 months. They're 7 and 8 now and equally as hard. Leaving the boys with their dad next week and flying to Marrakesh for 3 days. Boy, do I need it!

I have just under 3 year gap between DC1-DC2 (now 4 and 1) and due another in the spring (just under 2 year gap).

so I’ll have 2 under 2 and a 4 year old to boot. Wish me luck

Same here. Three years has been pretty perfect. DD1 was toilet trained, she'd just got the free nursery hours so was going 3 days, she didn't need constant supervision and could help with baby stuff. 2 under 2 was absolutely not for me, anyone I know with that gap looks permanently stressed and red-faced

This. I had 2 under 2 twice, with a three year gap in the middle. I loved it, but I was very lucky in that I could be a SAHM and then when I did go back to work (when youngest was 4), I work in education so get holidays off.

It was such a fun time. The house was a tip, we were a bit tight on money but they didn't need much and we had fun. We just took it easy and enjoyed ourselves.

They are all teens now and get along really well (thankfully!).

I'm very grateful for my brood.

Yes I see this. But also, a bigger gap makes every day a bit more fun/less hellish and therefore you don’t wanna get it over with?! I will have to be doing the fucking primary school run for 14 years straight so absolutely not saying that’s any better than rushing it 😅

Absolutely YANBU. That’s why most people I know including me went for the three years ish gap.

Ahhhhhh, it could have been, but I don't know... maybe it was because I gave up an insanely busy, on call 24 hrs, IT support job.
I actually enjoyed the "downtime" that having 2 easy kids (with plenty of support if I needed it) gave me.

But I am very aware that my kids were easy kids, I had a great support network, and things could have been VERY different.

At one point I had 4 under 4, 3 under 3 and 2 under 2 all at once. 5 kids later and I'm clearly not too damaged as I'm TTC baby 6!

My mum says the hardest bit was the exam years. Four consecutive years of big exams. 15 months between my sister and I. We get on great though.

It's the opposite end I'd be more worried about - two teenagers, that's a no for me. I found them being small much easier - with exception to the lack of sleep.

Somewhat confused: how did the 8 year gap between DC1 and DC3 "get the baby years over together"?

In my experience, it's all the nappies. All the poo. Just so much faeces.

Haha there's 16 months between mine and I think this every morning. I change two poopy nappies then go downstairs and empty two cat poos from the litter tray... Basically deal with the shit of 4 living creatures before 7am every morning. The joy!

Being a SAHM sounds worse tbh because you (presumably?) don't get the benefit of putting the eldest in nursery when on mat leave with the second. That sounds insanely hard.

My two under 2 are now 14 and 12 (coming up 13) I also have a 17yo and now have a 4yo. The first 2 or 3 years of having all three of them were incredibly tough, so so draining and exhausting. Now it's lovely, they are all fairly easy teens, the odd argument here and there but they get on well most of the time.

I had a 20 month age gap and number three is due next year, 23 months after number two, so we'll have about 5 months of three under 4. It's bloody hard work, and I don't love the baby/toddler phase - but I also don't regret it: we knew we wanted three and if I'd have waited longer and got more of myself and my life back I don't know that I'd have gone back again. I've no experience of bigger age gaps, but to be honest I think all come with their hard bits and easier bits!

And another one here with no time for being guilt tripped about looking forward to having older kids - there are some bits of baby- and toddlerhood which are lovely, but by and large I had children because I'm so looking forward to when they're a bit older and can do more things/communicate more, not because I'm thrilled by sleepless nights, tantrums and nappies. No shame in going through something hard to get to a longer term goal.

I didn’t find it too difficult as they both did the same things at the same time. So school one year apart. Played together. Easy to share clothes.

This is why I'm one and done.
Too small an age gap and you're in the baby throws for eternity
Too big and they have no common ground and you're juggling different needs and priorities.
Not ashamed to say, one is PLENTY for me 🤣🤣

hard stares in twin mum

I had two born a year apart almost to the day. I didn't find it hard. Its harder now they are teens

I had 3 under 2...not sure how I survived. Lots of tears from us all I think, now they're a lot older they all bicker like cats and dogs. It never ever truly gets easier, just different stages but I do adore them.

We have a two year age gap almost exactly, and it’s really lovely. They are nearly 9 and 7 now and play together, enjoy the same tv shows, the same days out still interest them etc. I wanted a three year age gap and DS was a huge surprise, but it’s turned out wonderfully and I wouldn’t change it. It was definitely a bit mad in the early days of juggling two though, leaving the house was a mission!

I had two under two which was chaotic and overwhelming at times but once they were 3 and 4 it became much easier as they were physically capable of similar stuff and could play relatively independently together. Now they are 9 and 10, it’s a real benefit that they are so close in age.

But there’s no perfect age gap - all will have their benefits and downsides.

I actually loved it. My 15 month gap was my favourite. It was a bit chaotic but they were close enough in age that major milestones weren’t too far apart. We ended up with 4 under 6 and that was quite chaotic, busy y when you are outnumbered!