To think two under two is exhausting and crazy?

The smaller the age gap the higher the chances are of them getting along, it's easier to take them places because they are at the same stage in life and you get your life back quicker!

I have 2 years 2 months between mine and often wish I had had my second a little sooner but I wasn't ready. They are best friends and inseparable (apart from when forced separation is necessary because they are winding each other up!) and at almost 8 and 10 they play with each others friends and have the same interests.

The downside was having both in nappies at the same time and trying to potty train a toddler with a baby. The amount of times I forgot who had recently had a nappy change in the early days and one was left too long.

There is also the downside of getting your life back quicker, it's definitely a plus but also as I approach 40 I'm almost getting baby fever, really missing that baby stage now mine are bigger but I absolutely do not want another one regardless of what my hormones are saying! Maybe if I had had a bigger gap those hormones wouldn't be so insane but I don't know.

Yes I had 2 under 2 and it is exhausting. I then had another child when my youngest was just under 3.5 and that was much easier.
I know a big age gap can also bring its own problems, but 2 under 2 was very, very hard.
I have to add, some parents get lots of help. I didn’t. All my relatives worked and I didn’t have any help with childcare. Thus makes a huge difference too.

I was still breastfeeding my eldest when I got pregnant with the youngest (19 month between them), so I'm not sure what is unnatural about our age gap

Edit to add: in reply to earlier comment

Sometimes it's difficult the slightly older one not understanding what can hurt the younger child and having to monitor them all the time. It is doable though. It's great when they start to interact, notice each other and laugh and smile together and you can make it work and enjoy it I promise!

@WanderfulTonight on holiday with mine, my son was mistaken for my partner and my daughter for our daughter! I found it highly amusing but my son was not amused 🤣🤣

Every age gap has its pros and cons. We had a small age gap - certainly would have aimed for around 3 year mark if we had the choice but when the first takes multiple years to conceive with losses along the way, you don't want to hold out too long in case it takes several years for the second.

The younger days were tough, sleep deprivation and constant nappies which then followed onto two toddlers and covid lockdowns to add. The guilt for not 'enjoying' it is also something else. I now have the confidence to say the toddler years are not so enjoyable for me, I found the days long and monotonous, feeding them was hard work, sleep was still not great. Once they hit 3.5-4 years old, I loved it again and really enjoy a lot of it right now when 6 and almost 8.

...and my eldest didn't take their first steps until they were 18/19 months.

We were in an upstairs flat so that was fun getting both non walkers out of the house.

I had to take them both down the road to hang up my washing.

My eldest was too light to move into the next stage car seat until about 20 months so I had a double pram with them both on the baby car seat sometimes.

I'd get people coming up to me going "Oooh! Twins! Then they'd look in the car seats and have a puzzled face when they saw a big baby and a little baby, so clearly not twins".

Although, by the time they were 2 and 3, they looked like twins as I had a small eldest and a big youngest.

12 months between my youngest, it wasn’t difficult as none slept so I was used to not having much sleep 🤣

I know two people who had their first baby and had twins before their first was 18 months! 3 under 18 months!!!🙎😮

Yep! 15 months between my two. My second child's first year is a complete blur but now they've always been so close, even as teens.

Yes, it was hard work but I'm so glad I did it that way.

Opposite sex siblings but they hang out together alot, do clubs together and look out for each other.

It’s not a spacing that tends to occur naturally. With natural term breastfeeding and no contraception most women will have 3-4 years between babies and have 5-6 children (exceptions apply obviously, this is a generalisation).
It seems hard on your body and very hard on your mental health. Not something I would choose!

lol, as a twin mum this made me laugh

I had three under three, so a baby, a one year old and a two year old. I was talking to someone else today who also had three under three. We both thought it was easier than having bigger age gaps.

Just under a year between mine. Any age gap has hard days and positives. If it’s your first and second it will be the only gap you’ve known so not harder or easier than anything else.

I had 3 under 13 months. 4 under 4. Wouldn't change it for the world

I had three under 3. That was insane. And I wouldn’t recommend it. But - they are so close in age now as teens it’s nice.

My first two were 15 months apart, hard going but manageable as they were similar stages. My third came 2.5 years after and that was a hard gap as the 2.5 one was way ahead.

I would say 16 years later I adore the small gaps and wouldn't have it any other way.

We have a 2y gap and any bigger looks harder to me - the gap between what they like doing, what they can do, when they can play together etc - I'd go 18m if I had my time again 😅

I found 2 under 2 fine, but 3 under 4 was really hard.

I have a 3.5 yr between 1 and 2, and another 3yrs between 2 and 3. I can confidently say it's nothing like 2 under 2 based off watching friends and others with that gap! Each to their own and obviously often gaps aren't people's choice anyway but I'm very glad we have roughly the gaps we do. 2 under 2 (or even 2 under 2.5) - definitely wasn't for me.

God you've just made me realise that by the time I finish doing the primary school run I'll have been doing it for 20 years straight 😳

Very small age gaps are interesting to me as there are ten years between mine. There are plusses but by the time younger DD goes to high school, I'll have spent 21 years as a working mum doing the childminder/nursery/school run. I love being a mum but I'm very ready for that part to be over. You spend a lot less time parenting young kids with a small gap and I'd assume kids would have similar needs at the same time.

I had 2 under 2 twice, 3 under 5 twice and I nearly had 3 under 3.5 but missed that by 2 days!

people seem to go on about the difficulty of 2 under 2 but I think it's mainly because of the way it sounds. Personally I found 2 under 2 not the hardest part, although the newborn cluster feeds with a toddler were not fun. Ds1 used to use the opportunity to get up to mischief and poor ds2 found himself getting unceremoniously un latched on a few occasions. To be honest I have found 3 teenagers harder than 3 under 5.

I have an almost 7 year old, a 3 year old and an almost 2 year old.

The 4 year gap between DD1 and DD2 was lovely, would definetely reccomend.

The 15 month gap between DD2 and DD3 was very much hard work, I don't know what I was thinking 🤣

Currently waiting on baby number 4 being born in a few weeks. He will have exactly a 2 year gap with DD3. Hoping it'll be a bit easier than the gap the middle two had, currently they fight from morning till night 🤦🏻‍♀️

So long story short, I'd reccomend a good few year gap over having 2 under 2 🤣

Two under 1.5 over here. A newborn and 15 month old in lockdown. They were some dark days....now they're 4 and 5, best of friends (most of the time) and interested in the same things, can go to the same clubs. I see my friends having babies now with bigger age gaps and I'm grateful I got it some. Short term pain (lots of it...) for long term gain. I should add, I'm still exhausted though!